


This might be crazy

by LifeOfRoos



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Cupid - Freeform, Death, Gen, Hades - Freeform, Help, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Issues, Jason Grace - Freeform, King minos - Freeform, Loneliness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Soft Drinks, Therapy, Therapy and a drink, Working through your issues, bianca - Freeform, capri-sun, mental health, mental issues, percy jackson - Freeform, solangelo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:15:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 59,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeOfRoos/pseuds/LifeOfRoos
Summary: Nico has some issues and needs help - even he agrees. He is just not really sure if Dionysus of all people will be able to help him. Or: A fic in which Nico gets therapy from Dionysus, inspired by what was said in Tower of Nero.This fic was nominated for the Solangelo awards 2021.
Relationships: Bianca di Angelo & Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo & Dionysus, Nico di Angelo & Hades, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo & Persephone, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 233
Kudos: 239





	1. Demeters' Divine Dragon Fruit Juice

When I woke up, there was a juice box on my nightstand. At first, I figured it was Wills’ doing. An attempt to get me to consume more calories. Yet, that just did not feel right.I sat up and pushed my curtains aside a little. Outside, it was still pitch black. Alright, now I was absolutely certain that Will was not the one to put the juicebox on my nightstand. When healers do not have a night shift, they tend to sleep as much as they can.

I thought about the dreams I had had that night. I was at an amphitheatre and I could hear people talking, but nothing really happened. It was nicer than my usual dreams, which always seemed to come straight out of a Stephen King novel. The amphitheatre. What the hell, it was worth a try. I climbed out of bed, picked up the juice box and walked out the door (I had forgotten to take off my regular clothes when I went to sleep. I wasn’t wearing shoes, though - I regretted that when I was just too far away from my cabin to get them anyway). 

The campfire flared up a bit when I got close enough. Someone was sitting on the first row, near the flames. I sighed deeply when I noticed two glowing, purple eyes. Hell, help me. ‘Nico Di Angelo.’

‘Sir.’ 

‘I asked you to come to the Big House a couple of times, and you never did. I figured you might come if I added some mysticism.’

I tightened my grip on the juice box. ‘So you laid a juice box on my nightstand in the middle of the night. A box of…’- I looked at the carton - ‘Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice.’

‘It can be whatever you want. I can give you apple juice or pear juice, if that makes you comfortable.’

I looked at the box. A little grin grew on my face. ‘Can it be dragon fruit juice?’ He sighed deeply. ‘Whatever.’ The picture of an orange on the juicebox changed into a picture of a dragon fruit. I put the straw into the box and took a sip - it tasted weird, but weird in a good sense. I sat down next to Dionysus. 

‘Whatever Will said, it is not true.’ 

‘I sensed myself that there was something wrong. Although your boyfriend did tell me about your issues as well.’ 

I stared into the flames. They were slightly grayish. ‘I feel… fine enough.’

‘That’s not feeling good, though.’

‘It’s feeling good enough.’ 

‘It isn’t. You deserve to feel better.’ 

I took a swig of dragon fruit juice. ‘Children of Hades do not feel happy. They never have.’ 

‘I know for a fact that you just repeated what everyone else was saying. Because Chiron does not teach old myths about Hades’ children. Because not a lot of them survived. The myths, I mean.’ 

I kept looking at the flames. ‘What problems do I have then, that should and could be fixed?’

‘Well, you tend to summon skeletons when you get upset, for one, and you tend to zone out during activities, and...’ the god of wine probably had a lot more interesting things to say, if it wasn’t for the fact that my juice box was empty, but I kept sucking on the straw, so that the god got interrupted by the weird slush-sound an empty carton makes. It worked for a few seconds, until Dionysus magiced more juice into the box. The next moment I had a mouth full and almost choked. I coughed loudly. ‘Be careful,’ was all the nearby god had to say about it. 

When I could breathe again, Dionysus sighed deeply. ‘You need to stop messing around, Di Angelo.’ I sighed and looked at the seats. Will had encouraged me to seek help. I might need it, even, I could agree with that. But this felt ridiculous. I wasn’t insane. ‘Just take as long as you need. If you come up with something, just tell me.’

I don’t know how much time I took. I paced around the campfire and jumped up and down the first row of seats, trying to think. When I got back to Dionysus, he was reading a few documents that looked important. However, he put them away when he saw me. I sat back down. Another juice box appeared. ‘The voices,’ was all I said, while I picked up the juice carton.

‘In your head, I assume.’

‘Those. They… I don’t know. They don’t sound human.’

‘Well, they aren’t.’ 

‘I mean… I think they are from the Underworld.’ I had no idea why I was telling him that. Yet, I had not told him about…

‘Are we talking about the regular underworld, or Tartarus?’

‘Sorry for the rough question, Di Angelo, I did not mean to immediately ask something so difficult and personal.’ Dionysus stared at me. He clearly meant exactly what he had asked.

‘...Alright, tartar sauce.’

‘Tartar sauce?’

‘Who is the one going around telling everyone names have power?’ 

He actually smiled. ‘Touché. Tell me what you want to tell about it.’ 

‘I do not think it’s… monsters.’ Did I not? ‘It might be… I don’t know.’

‘Divinities?’ 

‘Could be. They call out to me. They tell me to… they don’t exactly tell me to come to them. But they don’t tell me to stay away either, if you understand that.’

‘Hm. But you do think that they are outside forces?’

‘How about you try to slap them out of my brain and if they are still there, we can be certain of that.’ 

‘That’s not how it works.’ 

‘Hm.’ Useless. ‘But I do certainly think there is something out there giving me these messages.’ 

‘That would make it one of the most important parts to not let the voices, what or whoever they are, make you go crazy.’ No brainer. Although I must admit it is difficult. I took a few sips of dragonfruit juice. The carton would not empty out this time, so that I could block this whole therapy session out with a slushing sound - I figured Dionysus made it bottomless. ‘Probably.’

He was silent for some time. I put my juicebox down. ‘How do I not become crazy?’ It felt like he wanted me to ask something like that. Maybe not exactly the way I worded it. 

‘That is what we are going to figure out.’ He smiled at me again. ‘Is there anything else that might be bothering you?’ I did not immediately respond. The voices that were bothering me now reminded me of different voices - those of Otus and Ephialtes, which I could constantly hear while I was locked in their iron jars. The voices had gotten into my dreams, even now, more than a year after the incident had taken place. ‘It makes me feel… trapped. The voices, I mean.’ 

‘Can you yourself think of a concrete reason for that?’Yes, yes I could. Except that that reason made me almost cry and him asking that made me angry. And so I said nothing. ‘Too much for this session?’

‘What a concrete observation. I could not be so concrete’ 

‘The voices were already quite concrete.’

‘Maybe.’ I brought the carton to my lips again. I took a sip, but it tasted a little bitter. I heard Dionysus take a deep breath. ‘What do you think about continuing next time?’

‘I said almost nothing!’

‘Not a lot of words, no. But you very clearly told me about one of the big issues you are having. That takes a lot.’ I realised I had emptied out the juice carton. ‘Will I find a new one when it is time again?’

‘Perhaps. Now go back to your cabin before you act like one of your zombies tomorrow and Chiron blames me.’

Chiron would probably blame Will, I thought. However, taking a nap sounded like a good idea. ‘Alright then.’

‘Sleep tight.’

‘Yeah, you too.’ I walked away from the campfire. When I looked around, Dionysus had vanished. I could, however, see a woman sitting close by the flames. She smiled, which made me feel warm inside. Alright, therapy was scary. Therapy with the god of madness seemed like… well, madness. But perhaps it could work out, if I gave it a shot.


	2. Capri-sun

‘Nico!’

‘Will.’

‘I heard you actually talked with Dionysus.’

‘So he told you.’

Will shrugged. I kept walking towards the dining pavilion. ‘I asked him, and he said yes. It’s not like he told anyone else.’

‘And he shouldn’t!’ I would have actually thrown hands if he had told the whole camp, even though that was more dangerous for me than for him. 

‘Sh. I am just glad you are getting help.’

‘Well, help.’

‘Nico, therapy will take some time.’

I looked at the ground. ‘He’s the God of madness, Will. Time is not the biggest concern.’ Will sighed and put his arm around my shoulder.

‘It’ll be alright.’ Sure, sure.

I sat down at my own table instead of going to Apollo’s table with Will. I needed some time to process this. A sandwich appeared on my plate. I turned around and walked to the flames to sacrifice some of it to the gods (some to my father. Some to Hestia). When I came back to my table, I noticed that there was a juice box standing next to my utensils. Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice. I looked at the head table. After a few seconds, Dionysus made eye contact with me. He gave me a small nod. It was apparently time again.

After breakfast, I stayed at my table. Will gave me a reassuring smile while he walked away. I sighed deeply. 

Dionysus waited until every single person had left the dining pavilion before he came over to me. ‘Nico di Angelo.’

‘Sir.’

‘Do you remember what we talked about last time?’

‘We talked about that there are voices in my head.’ 

He nodded. ‘Is there anything you want say about our last talk?’

‘I have no idea why I told you anything at all.’ I stabbed my straw into the juice box. 

‘Understandable.’

I looked up at him. ‘Understandable?’ 

‘I actually think so. Why would you tell me anything at all?’

I thought about that for a moment. It did not sound like a rethorical question. 

‘...In order to get… help.’ ‘Better’ was the word I had thought of, but it did not feel like that was possible. So I said help. ‘Or because Will said so. Or both.’ Yeah. ‘Probably both.’ 

Dionysus nodded. I brought the juice carton to my lips and took a sip. It tasted like regular orange juice. Nothing divine about it. Demeters’ Divine Dragon Fruit Juice had been better. ‘I would say that it is a good thing that you did.’

That seemed like the time to run. If the god of revelry says it’s a good thing, it might not be a good thing. For a moment, I thought about saying that out loud. I elected not to. ‘Hm.’

‘Do you have any idea yet about why the voices make you feel trapped?’

I looked him dead in the eye. He knew exactly why. He had been right there in New Rome, with the twin giants. At this point, I decided that it didn’t matter anyway. ‘You know why.’

‘Perhaps I do. Perhaps I thought it might be easier for you to say it yourself than it is to have someone spell it out to you.’

‘You could have assumed it.’

‘What kind of therapist just assumes things?’

‘What kind of…’ therapist is the god of alcohol. I swallowed the sentence just in time. I looked away. The dining pavilion was so… empty. 

‘You must be thinking I am not much of a therapist, so why would I care?’ Oh, so this guy could read minds, like some campers guessed. ‘You are not the first demigod I ever… tried to help, Nico.’ I looked at him again. If he said so. ‘Right.’

‘I am going to ask it again.’

I waited for it.

‘Do you have any idea what makes you feel trapped about the voices in your head?’

‘You worded it differently before.’

‘Irrelevant.’

‘No. But also, the Giants. The jar. While I was in there... I could hear the voices of the Aloadae.’ It came out before I even knew it. Saying it made me feel sad and angry, to put it in very simple terms. I am sure it made me feel a whole lot of things that I have no idea how to name. 

Dionysus did not immediately reply. Like he wanted it to dawn on me first. 

‘It makes you feel distressed.’ Gods, we have got a big brain take over here. 

‘...Yes.’ Obviously. Coeus can hand in his title, there is a new god of farsight and being obvious in town.

‘Are the voices from then similar to the voices you hear right now?’

‘I don’t know.’ Could be. Could be not. 

‘They certainly do make you feel a connection between them.’ Indeed. ‘Do you think the voices from now make the trauma from then fresher?’

A tear rolled down my cheek. I just stared at the table. This god-man-person-whatever had actually managed to make me cry. What he said sounded plausible. ‘No.’ He stayed silent. 

‘Maybe.’ I felt like I had regained some control over myself. 

‘Is it too much?’

‘Are you thinking about stopping again? We just started!’ 

‘You manage to say a lot in just a few sentences. That is actually pretty impressive, Nico.’ I took a small sip of orange juice. The orange on the carton had a smiley face. It was actually pretty terrifying. ‘Still. Also, can this be anything else? I might get nightmares from the smiley face.’ The juicebox transformed into a pouch of Capri-sun. ‘Oh, that’s Wills’ favorite. Perfect.’ I pricked my straw through the pouch again. ‘And…’ I tried to keep myself composed. ‘I do think the current… situation… makes the memories worse. Makes the memories make me feel worse.’ 

Dionysus looked at the table for some time, as if even he wondered whether he should ask the next question. He took a deep breath. ‘You went through more than… just the situation with the jar.’ I looked into his eyes - it made me feel weird. He looked so concerned. Worried. ‘You have had more… troubles.’

I know what he meant. Tartarus. There were voices there, too. And I should not forget about King Minos, who was constantly whispering things in my ear for half a year. And I did not even think about... Right - now it was indeed becoming a little too much for one session. ‘Maybe… you are right. As in, it is more than just the jar, but also in the part where you said that it might become too much right now.’ I nodded a few times. A little bit of capri-sun leaked onto my hand - I was putting so much presure on it that I was pushing the juice… or soft drink… or whatever, out (seriously, what is capri-sun?). 

‘Than we are stopping for now.’

‘Short. Again.’

‘But you shared a lot. Did you learn anything concretely?’

‘There is even more under the surface?’

‘That.’ 

‘And don’t squeeze too hard in your Capri-sun pouch?’

‘Exactly.’ I couldn’t help it - even though my head was filled with doom and gloom, I laughed. A second Capri-sun pouch appeared next to me. ‘For that boyfriend of yours.’

‘Thanks. I expect a carton of strawberry milk next time.’

He rolled his eyes while he disappeared, leaving me behind with a whole lot to think about, but also with not one, but two pouches filled with Capri-sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a third chapter in the works. After that, I'll see what I do - I am actually buzzing with ideas about Nico's journey to a healthier mind, but I do not know how long I'll enjoy writing it.


	3. Strawberry Milk

I had almost forgotten what the strawberry milk carton was supposed to mean when I found it. It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about my last conversation with Dionysus, but my week had been rather good - it had sunken to the background. 

The milkcarton appeared next to my sword after training. According to my schedule, I actually had to pick strawberries - something I did not really enjoy. I had to give Dionysus credit for how he had planned this session. 

When I arrived at the Big House, Dionysus was standing on the porch. It seemed like he was thinking about something. He even looked a little sad. He shook his head for a moment when he noticed me, as if to throw the thought out.

‘Nico di Angelo.’

‘Sir.’

‘Do you remember our last conversation?’

I put the straw through my juice… milk carton. 

‘Yes, I did think about our last conversation. About… how there are probably more trauma’s than just… you know.’

He nodded. ‘Is it difficult to say?’

I looked at my carton. ‘I think so. I don’t know why, but...’ I shrugged. 

‘It’s understandable. It will take a long, long time before it will hurt less.’ He shrugged as well, as if to say ‘I am just telling you’ and ‘there is no use in sugarcoating it.’ I shrugged again. ‘Of course…’ I hesitated.

‘I think what you want to say is ‘of course that comment does not help.’’ That was exactly what I wanted to say. ‘...No.’ 

‘Can you tell me about some of the other things - concrete things - that the voices remind you off?’ 

I took a sip of strawberry milk. Just like last time, I was overcome with the thought that it was ridiculous to be telling all of my problems to Dionysus, god of being out of your mind. It took me quite some time before I had gathered myself enough to go on. 

‘... Of course, eh, tartar sauce. You know what I mean.’ He nodded, waiting for me to continue. I had already mentioned Tartarus, therefore it was easier to to tell him again. Now, I had to say something about the other things. Other things like losing Bianca, and seeing her in my dreams sometimes, before she chose to be reborn. Other things like Minos chasing me while I was trying to get her back. My feelings for Percy. The whole mess with Cupid. Losing Jason after all that. Did I have to tell goddamn Dionysus of all people about Cupid and… everything else around that topic? 

I took a tiny sip. ‘I…’ another one. ‘I… you know…’ I took a very deep breath. ‘Bianca,’ I whispered. 

‘That was your sister, right?’ Dionysus’ voice was quieter, more soothing, than usual. I nodded. It felt like I was shrinking. A tear rolled down my cheek. 

‘Nico?’

‘Hzm?’ I sniffed, trying to hold back a sob.

‘I am sorry, but I think it is important that we try to continue. This is a difficult subject, but it is one that needs to be discussed.’

I nodded once. He was right. But another part of me (was it me?) wanted to punch him. Or run away. Or both, at the same time. Yet, I stayed, while more tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. 

‘She chose rebirth. Is that correct?’

Another nod. How did he even know that? 

‘And there was something with king…’

‘...Mi-minos.’ If anybody was going to tell this story, It was me. 

‘I don’t know anything else about it.’ He spoke the truth. I could hear it. I know I said I wanted to tell this story, but now I was not so sure anymore. 

‘I…’ more quiet. ‘I… wanted to get her back.’ It came out softly, but it came out. Dionyus’ shoulders rose a little. He looked as if this brought back memories for him as well. ‘And Minos… ‘helped’ me. Said he did.’ The look of sadness in Dionysus’ eyes changed to something more like ‘of course. It’s Minos.’ ‘Eventually… with Percy, and the others… I… I…’ I waved with my hands, but it was too much. It hurt to think about it. And what did this guy have to do with any of it?

I broke down. Not with a loud scream, but silently. The tears ran down my face, my nose stuffed up and I felt a faint pounding in my head. It took some time for the tears to stop - before I went completely quiet.

I might have been silent for an hour. At some point, Dionysus took a deep breath. ‘Nico di Angelo?’

‘Eh?’

‘What do you think about… getting a therapist?’

I looked at him. But he was my therapist. Who was he talking about? What was he talking about?

‘There is a therapist for demigods in New York. I can bring you there tomorrow. Maybe… it’ll be easier.’ To talk to her than to me. I shrugged. I did not care. Maybe. I felt bad. My head hurt. 

‘I’ll get back to you tomorrow.’

The next morning, I woke up early. There was a box of Minute Maid grape juice on my nightstand. I climbed out of bed and walked out the door, while forgetting to take along the juice box. Dionysus was standing right outside my cabin. ‘Come. You got a free day. We’re going to New York. By car.’ 

I did not say anything while walking towards the car. Will would want me to eat breakfast, but I did not feel hungry. Dionysus did not do or say much. All he did was open the door for me and make another Juice box appear in my cup holder. I did not touch it. 

‘Demigod mental center.’ It made me look up. The drive had taken us... time. How much, I could not tell. I looked out the window. The building was bleak and did not invite me to start feeling hopeful. ‘Ask for doctor Trevorson,’ was all Dionysus had to say. ‘I cannot go in with you. That’s the rules. No gods in the demigod mental health centre.’ Alright, that made sense, I guess. I did not question the fact that Dionysus of all people abided to this rule. 

I felt a lot and I felt nothing at the same time. I just did not know, I really didn’t. I did not know while I was waiting for the doctor and I did not know when he came to collect me. 

The session was a blur. I knew only one thing when I came out of the room: No. I did not want to be treated by doctor Trevorson. And, I was only being honest, I did not think he wanted, or even knew how to, treat me. As soon as the word ‘Tartarus’ fell, it was over. 

Dionysus was waiting in the car, seemingly deep in thought. I wondered whether he had gone anywhere else or if he had just spend all the time waiting. I slipped back into my seat. 

‘How did that go?’

I looked at him. Apparently, that was enough. ‘Than… we have to talk about other options.’ I legit had no idea what he meant. But I was also starting to get sick of not knowing. 

‘You haven’t had breakfast yet,’ Dionysus stated. I shrugged. ‘Therefore, we are going to get you breakfast. Do you have any ideas?’ 

I almost automatically responded with ‘I don’t know,’ but then I remembered that I did not want to not know anymore. Anything was better than not knowing. So I said I wanted sloppily made pancakes with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Good choice, apparently, because Dionysus smiled. ‘Alright then.’

A few minutes later, we walked into a Denny’s. It was questionable whether this was the right place for a therapy session, seeing as how it radiated chaos energy. They did, however, have sloppily made pancakes. Those were a certainty right now, and I was going to hold on to that. 

When we sat down, me with a plate filled with pancakes (and some other stuff - like, for real America, calm down, I only need one meal), Dionysus put a carton of Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice in the middle of our table. 

‘Wait. I first want to eat one of these pancakes worry-free.’

‘Absolutely.’ 

I tasted like sloppily made pancake with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. And I was going to savour every sloppy bite of it. At a while, Dionysus wasn’t even paying attention to me anymore. He was scanning the crowd. I wondered whether he was trying to find out if any Olympians were in the restaurant (is it a restaurant? Can you really call Denny’s a restaurant? They might have more nuanced terms in other languages). 

I put the straw through the juice carton as soon as I had finished the pancake. The sound caught Dionysus’ attention and he turned back to me. ‘So. Let me start off by saying that you do not need to go back there.’

‘Isn’t it a thing that the first session is weird?’

‘For most demigods, that’s what we say.’ Oh, so there are more demigods that went to therapy? How come we don’t know that? ‘But one look at you and I realised that that wasn’t going to do it for you.’

I tore a little bit of pancake off with my hand. ‘So… then what?’

Dionysus gestured at my juicebox. ‘You mean that you keep…’ counseling me? Giving me therapy? ‘...helping me.’

‘Yes.’

‘Fine.’

He looked at me for a moment. ‘That also means that you have to trust me.’

Trust? that goes far, man. I’ll let you council me, but trust? Calm down. ‘Partly.’ 

He did not respond. I took another bite of pancake. Then, I took a deep, deep breath. ‘Shortly after she had died… I kept hearing Bianca’s voice in my dreams. That… also hurt. It is less now, probably because... she is reborn. But now Jason is gone too.’ I felt tears coming up again. My throat closed up. I stared at the pancakes (and other crap) on my plate - I knew I would have never finished it all, but now it felt even more impossible. 

‘There is a lot of old grief. It might hurt to work through that. Yet, it is important that you learn how to cope. That will make your life better. And Nico, you deserve a better life.’ 

‘I’ll… try to learn how to cope. I’ll do my best to do that. Really.’

‘I believe you. And about…’ He stopped. About what? ‘Nevermind.’ 

‘Nevermind what?’ I waited until he made a sign of some sort, but he did not. ‘We’ll talk about it in a future session.’ I wanted to press further, but decided that I either let it rest for now or that he would erase the last thirty seconds from my memory. Slowly, I took another bite of my pancakes. I’d have to stock up on juice boxes, too. I wasn’t about to let Dionysus control when we had an appointment all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In The Netherlands, we would call Denny's a 'vreetschuur' (Eatbarn) or a 'Eettent' (eattent) but never a 'restaurant.'   
> This was the last chapter I had planned for - the chapter were Nico comes to terms with having to trust Dionysus. I might write more in the future, but I am not sure of that yet.


	4. Strawberry Coca-Cola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobia trigger warning for this chapter!

Valentines Day, combined with all the imagery of the fat baby version of Cupid, was coming dangerously close when I encountered a bottle with strawberry flavoured coca-cola in the grass. I sighed, took the bottle and walked over to the Big House. Yet, when I got there, I could not find Dionysus. ‘Hello?’

Chiron trotted into the main room. ‘Hello, Nico. Are you, by any chance, looking for Dionysus?’

I nodded. ‘Yes. I found this bottle, so I assumed he would be here, but…’ 

‘He said something about the beach this afternoon. You could go take a look there, but I cannot promise you you’ll find him.’

‘I’ll see. Thanks, Chiron.’ Chiron smiled, walked forwards a little and patted me on the arm. 

‘Good luck, Nico.’

The grand god Dionysus was, in fact, at the beach. His back was turned towards me. I took a moment to inhale the salty air - every single time, I am surprised about how good that feels. 

‘Nico di Angelo.’

Damn, he noticed me. ‘Sir.’

‘That is a very rare flavour of coke.’

I nodded like I actually knew anything about it. Which I did. ‘Yes, exclusive to Japan for a few months.’ He raised his eyebrows while nodding, clearly surprised that I knew that. Jokes on him. I had shadow travelled to Japan a few weeks ago to get sushi for me and Will and I learned that right there. 

I walked further, until I was standing next to him. The sea was calm today. We watched for a little while. The sun was setting - shades of orange, red and pink were beginning to be visible. 

‘We are nearing Valentines Day,’ Dionysus remarked. I did not answer. I could feel in my bones where this was going. Hint: he had probably also noticed all the fat, baby Cupids everywhere. 

‘Are you planning on doing anything with mister Solace?’ Yes, actually, I wanted to shadow travel us to Wills’ favorite restaurant in his home state. ‘Not yet.’  
‘Sure.’ He looked at me like he did not believe me at all. ‘Yet, you know what I want to talk about.’ 

‘...Ye.’ 

‘Let me start off by asking how you have been feeling lately.’

Well, seeing Cupid as a fat baby everywhere feels kinda good, not gonna lie. But the rest? ‘Not amazing.’ 

He took a moment to look at me in a way that signaled it was going to be heavy from now on. ‘Have you experienced any homophobia in a concrete way?’

Huh? ‘Uh… a couple of times. Once when walking in the city with Will. And when I went to his house with Christmas and got to meet his aunt Natalia. A few other times, which I don’t recall exactly.’ 

‘How did it make you feel?’

I stared at the sand. Not because the question was difficult, but because I had no idea when this guy would finally rip off the bandage and bring up Cupid. 

‘I mean… it’s not nice, but I know that aunt Natalia lives alone and only ever goes out with Christmas to scold her sister and Will and everyone else in the family. I always think that if every homophobe is such a loser, than it can’t possibly bother me for long. And so it never does.’ 

‘That’s good. I thought you’d have more trouble with it. You seemed more down than usual the last few days, that’s why…’ At that point, I stopped listening. I stood there with a blank expression for an undefined amount of time, until I snapped. My throat began to hurt as tears of frustration rose up.

‘Are you going to ask me about Cupid or what?’ I spat it at him, before wrapping my arms around my stomach. A few angry tears rolled down my face, while I sobbed softly. After a few seconds of silence, I looked at Dionysus, who seemed… very surprised. 

‘...what?’ 

‘C-cupid. Rome. Jason! The scepter. You know exactly what I am talking about, you always do.’ My shoulders rose, although the surprise and confusion was enough to make the sobbing less violent. 

‘...I must say, I do not. Is this about the death of mister Grace?’ 

Utterly dumbstruck, that is how I felt. I loosend the grip on my stomach, while I stopped sobbing. My fit ebbed away. ‘...Ah-ha.’ Good, good job, Nico. Absolutely wonderful, the way you just told on yourself. You know exactly what he is going to say next.

‘Yet, it sounds like something that should not go unacknowledged.’ There it is.

‘I…’ - certainly would not mind if we did not acknowledge it - ‘Think you might be right.’ I sunk down into the sand and took a small sip of coke. It prickled on the inside of my mouth. 

‘You called him Cupid.’ Dionysus sat down next to me. 

‘It was Cupid. Not that he looked like one of those Valentine babies. He was the Roman version of Eros, but still very much Eros. You know…’

‘Yes, yes I know, trust me, I know.’ He sighed deeply, just as I did the same thing. Dionysus smiled, before continuing. 

‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’

I put an arm around my stomach again. My first thought was that I did not want to tell him what happened. I jumped into resistance mode and it took quite some time before I could reply. ‘Well… I was in Italy with the others. Jason and I were searching for the scepter of Diocletian, which we needed for...’ Yeah, what for again? ‘We needed it. We figured out that it was in Diocletians’ old palace, which turns out was also Eros, or Cupids, whatever, his old place. We got there and the god of love himself catches on to us. He starts to… fire arrows at us, although it was not his intention to make us fall in love.’ I paused for a second. No, I was quite positive Cupid did not want to make Jason and me fall in love. ‘He wanted me to tell the truth. Only then would he give us the scepter. The truth about…’ I halted right there when I remembered exactly what truth. In a split second I decided that there was no way I would be telling Dionysus that I was once in love with Percy Jackson. ‘...the truth about me liking guys.’

I looked into his eyes. He knew there was something I was not telling him. He did not ask about it, however. ‘Did you feel ashamed of being gay?’  
Oh, another obvious one. You know what, I can actually appreciate that right now. ‘Yes, yes I did. In 1930’s Italy, even as a nine year old I came across propaganda that told me liking guys was wrong. I would not say that my mother really enforced that idea. I think.’ Actually, I did not remember. She might have. ‘Then I came to this new America and… that did not just go away, even though…’ I tilted my head sideways and back again. 

‘I know exactly what you mean.’

Thought so. ‘Gay rights were and are, not, like, perfect.’ We both nodded, which made me relax a little more. 

‘The god of love made you tell something you did not want to tell anyone, or not yet at least. Not just because you were afraid of not being accepted, but also because you did not accept yourself. It is no wonder that you are still disstressed about it.’ 

I let my shoulders hang. ‘Sometimes I still do not know if I…’ I gestured at myself. Dionysus nodded. ‘That’s understandable. It takes a long time to accept that liking guys is a part of who you are. And also that it does not degrade your value as a person.’ 

‘I find it weird, though. How can you… dislike yourself, or part of yourself, so much?’

‘If it is constantly implanted that it is bad to be or feel or like a certain way, you will start to believe it. You’ll feel guilty for being what you are, even if what you are is not wrong.’ 

I fiddled with the bottle. ‘Still… why did Cupid force me to tell…’ alright, he did not force me to tell everyone I was gay. ‘...well, just that. Why did he force me to tell?’ Dionysus sighed deeply. 

‘If I ever find out anything about Eros, you’ll be the first to know. Except that I won’t find out anything, so I don’t know why I promised you that.’ He seemed to think for a second. ‘What I can tell you is that Cupid operates on his own wavelength…’ Yeah, and so do you, that’s not a weird thing for gods, ‘...and he’ll do what others would deem unreasonable stuff. To him, it is not.’ He shrugged. ‘That’s the only thing I learned about him from living on Olympus for a few thousand years. It excuses absolutely nothing and still makes the experience you had horrid, of course.’ I nodded. What I did not know was if he understood that to a mortal, a lot of gods were like that. I decided that know was not the time to ask.

‘I think I now know that being gay is nothing to be ashamed of.’

‘Good. That’s a good thing. I talked to more people who thought that their existence was a sin…’ His eyes could not have rolled farther into his head when he said the word sin, ‘... as if Jesus would give a flip, as if he isn’t too busy curing sick people and cuddling puppies, that’s beside the point, I wanted to tell you that a lot of people thought and think like you did and they could not almost get rid of those thoughts in a year or two. It’s admirable, Nico.’ 

I was sensing there was more that this man could tell me about Jesus. On one hand I was dying to know, on the other hand that was not what we were talking about. ‘That might be because the people around me were mostly accepting, if we forget about aunt Natalia for a moment. Some people poked fun at me for liking…’ Yo, yo, yo, Nico, shut up. You have already said way to much. Dionysus looked like he knew he should disregard that I had been about to say something, except that he really did not want to. ‘...some people…’ Now he seemed torn between telling me that it was alright and that I need not say more and pushing me to finish that sentence. ‘...might advise me to say that it has been enough for today. I… understand what you explained to me.’

Slight disappointment. ‘If you really feel like that, Nico. Yet, I’ll have to come back to Cupid next time. I don’t think we have talked about everything there is to talk about.’ He turned his gaze towards the sea. It was still calm, although I could swear it was slightly roudier than it had been before. As if Poseidon knew what I had been about to say before I cut the session off. ‘You are a valid person, Nico. And your love for that Solace-boy is real, even if it is beyond me why you would date anyone directly related to Apollo.’ As said by his half-brother. ‘Do not let anybody tell you otherwise. Now go, forget what both Will Solace and I keep telling you and shadow travel to France to get him a box of chocolates.’ He stood up, and I did the same.

I took a few big gulps of Japan-limited Strawberry flavoured coke. ‘I was thinking of a different country.’

‘Don’t you dare.’

‘Try to stop me.’ I did not even care - I began to run. It made me feel free, free from homophobia and Cupid, and so I kept running. Valentine's day was coming up. I might not be proud of me all the time, but I would be some day. And until thatn I still had Will. Will, and soon a box filled with real Japanese sushi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I read that pomegranates are a go-to love fruit as well. It just did not seem like something that Nico would see as a symbol of love, so I chose strawberries.  
> I thought Nico would find the stuff with Cupid difficult to talk about to Dionysus of all people. I hope I delivered on the feeling, while simultaneously trying to show that Nico does trust him now.


	5. Vanilla Milkshake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of a three-part arc in Nico's journey to recovery! The second part is already written and only needs to be edited. The third part is already outlined, but not yet written.

_Don’t you see?_

Stop it, there is nothing to see. 

_You hurt all of your friends._

Shut up.

_Just face the truth. You belong with us more than we do._

My eyes flew open. I looked up at the ceiling above my bed. At first it was a bit of a blur, but it quickly got clearer. This was not the first time it had happened, so I knew what to do. 

I rolled out of bed and walked to my closet, where I kept a small stash of Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice Boxes. With one in my hand, I walked to the most shadowy place of my cabin. _You’ve asked for help way too often. He is fed up with it by now._ Shush. I clenched my fist around the juice box and stepped into the shadows. 

I stepped out behind the potted plant that stood in front of Dionysus’ bedroom. ‘Dionysus? I need help,’ I asked, while knocking on the door. The first time I had been here, I had been terrified. Terrified because of the voices in my head that wouldn’t let me sleep and terrified because I was about to bother the god of madness in his sleep. By now, I was used to it. 

I heard Dionysus stumble around behind the door. A few seconds later, he stuck his head out of the room. ‘Do you want to go straight to Denny’s?’

‘Yes, please.’ Denny’s radiated weird energy, even more so around two thirty A.M. Still, I had come to associate the place with therapy sessions. It just worked better there. 

‘Then we’ll go.’ 

A blinding light, and the next moment we were at Denny’s. The usual server, Mary, was standing behind the counter. She looked up from her novel for a moment. ‘Hey.’ She slightly bowed her head to Dionysus, before she disappeared into the kitchen. Dionysus walked over to our regular booth. I quickly followed. 

‘So. I am assuming the voices have been whispering to you in your sleep again.’

Whispering? They screamed. ‘Yes. But that is not really what I want to talk about. You’ve taught me how to silence them, so that I can go back to sleep after they wake me up. Right now I want to talk about what they are saying, because they keep going on about a real fear of mine.’

‘Alright. We’ll do that.’ Even though it is two A.M. and tomorrow I have to take care of a camp full of brats again, his eyes were saying. Yet, he did not say it out loud. ‘What is this fear?’

‘That I hurt the people around me.’ So, the easy, surface-level part was out. Now I needed to gain enough courage to talk about the second part. 

I was quiet for so long that Dionysus felt the need to ask another question: ‘Are you afraid they will walk away because you hurt them?’

I shrugged. ‘I think… that is only a small part of it. A larger part of it is that… I’ll hurt them, but they will still stick around…’ I shrugged for a moment, while trying to find the words that seemed correct, ‘...even though I am a toxic influence on them.’ I looked down at the table. 

‘What makes you think you are a toxic influence on people?’

Before I could answer, Mary came towards us, with a Vanilla milkshake. ‘With extra ice-cream.’ 

I smiled. ‘Thanks, Mary.’ 

‘My experience is that ice-cream helps wtth curing stuff.’ She got a serious expression in her eyes and nodded a couple of times (Mary was a daughter of Aphrodite. I assumed ice-cream had helped with quite a bit of heartbreak). ‘I’ve never seen anybody who didn’t feel better after eating ice-cream,’ I told her.

She smiled and walked back to the counter, to read her novel and be bored again. 

I took a sip of my milkshake. It was cold and sweet and creamy. ‘Well I… Sometimes I lock people out when I am upset, even Will.’

‘Don’t you think that Solace knows that about you, respects your wishes when it happens and loves you regardless?’

I shrugged. ‘I try to tell myself that, but that’s so difficult.’ I shrugged again and took another sip of my milkshake. Yum. 

Dionysus kept looking at me. ‘You have a natural talent for friendship, Nico,’ he said after a bit of thinking. I raised my eyebrows. ‘I have what? I am a son of Hades.’

‘So? I thought you did not judge yourself on who your parent is.’

‘Still!’

‘You managed to make friends with the troglodytes, I heard…’ how did he know that? ‘...That is quite impressive, even to me. I don’t know how you did that…’ he let the sentence linger in the air. I assumed he was thinking about how he would make friends with the troglodytes. ‘...and you managed to make most campers a lot less distrustful of children of Hades. You did not hear it from me, but the same goes for a lot of gods. And for Lester. Even they trust you.’

‘Including Zeus?’

‘We don't go around picking the rotten apples and presenting those as if it is the whole crop.’ I wondered how many extra punishment years as a camp director he gained from saying those words. ‘Well, if you are certain…’

Glass shattered. I heard growling. I jumped out of my chair and turned around. I could see a few shapes by the door. Mary came running from behind the counter, armed with a gun. Dionysus stayed in the background, seemingly debating whether destroying the creatures was against the ancient laws or not. 

And the creatures… What were they? I could not tell. They had big, slimy beaks and bulging eyes. Whatever they were, It did not look like they could be reasoned with. 

Mary aimed her gun at one of them. She fired, and one of the things went down. She fired again, and managed to take down the other one as well. The third one, however, dodged her bullets and got further into the Denny’s at a freakishly high speed. 

Mary took a few steps back while grinding her teeth. I took a step forward, not really sure what to do without a weapon. Just as it was about to bite me, I stuck out my hand - stupid? Yes. Did it work? Also yes, because as soon as I touched the creature its hide and soft tissue began to melt away, until only its bones remained. 

It took a few seconds until the horror dawned on me. By that time, Dionysus had gotten closer to me. ‘Nico…’

‘What…’

‘Nico…’

‘What did I just…’

‘Come, it’s…’

‘I just…’ I sunk to the ground. I heard Mary gasp in the background. My eyes darted over to the bones of the creature. They were still standing, like the creature was still there. I could swear I saw them move. 

Until Dionysus made it disappear, I could not tear my eyes away from the bones. ‘Come, Nico. The monsters are gone.’

_The monster is never gone. For you are still here. You turned a living creature into a pile of bones! Isn’t that something only a true monstrosity would do?_

I did not have the strength to reason with the voice. They were right. They were so, so right. I was a monster and I was a danger to my friends. Imagine if I… if I would… tear their skin away… 

I couldn’t even breath. From the corner of my eye, I could see Mary coming closer. ‘Nico…’

‘Stay away. Stay far, far away. I might…’ She stopped walking, seemingly unsure of what to do. 

‘Nico di Angelo. You are having a panic attack,’ I heard Dionysus say in a calm voice. ‘Try to breath, deeply…’ I did not. Why would I? ‘Come on.’ You can’t make me. He came closer. ‘Get away.’

‘What are you going to do, kill me?’ 

I might not. But perhaps you will have to live further as nothing but a pile of bones. 

_The world will turn to bones around you._

‘The… the world will…’

‘Nico di Angelo. I am giving you one last chance. Try to take a deep, deep breath. Try to get calmer.’

My entire body was shaking. Dionysus’ face appeared in front of mine. I could only focus on his eyes. Soon, my entire field of vision was a pool of swirling purple. It got darker, little by little, until the world was black.


	6. Ice Cold Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 3! And thank you so, so much for the comments. Yesterday I was reading them at breakfast before I had an important test and it took away my nervousness. I will find as much time as I can to continue on with the third part of this arc, and hopefully more after that.

Where am I? _In a bad place._ I was lying down on something, perhaps a couch, with my face turned upwards. The ceiling was… dirty. And was that chewing gum? How did there get chewing gum on the ceiling?

‘Hello, Nico. You are awake.’ Oh, I am awake, that’s nice. ‘Can you tell me what you are seeing right now?’

‘What I am… hm.’ 

‘Start with the colour.’ 

‘White. I... I am seeing the ceiling and it is white. There are black spots as well, and I think I see a lamp. There is light. Also, I think there is chewing gum stuck to the ceiling? Except that would be weird.’

‘I am afraid you are right about the chewing gum.’ 

I turned my head, until I could see Dionysus. He was sitting next to the couch I was laying on and he had a serious expression on his face. It dawned on me why he was looking so worried. Something told me I should be panicking. Yet, I wasn’t.

Mary came over with a cup in her hands. ‘Is there something serious going on?’ Oh shoot, was there? 

‘No, I think not.’ Oh, he thinks not. Mary put the cup on the nearest table.

‘Nico, you have to try to sit up straight,’ Dionysus told me. ‘Can I help you?’ I slowly nodded. I was feeling slightly dizzy, but with the help of Mary and Dionysus I managed to sit up. I figured Dionysus probably knocked me out one way or another. That would explain why I rememberd the world dissappearing in a cloud of purple. 

Mary sat down on the couch, by my feet. I wanted to tell her to stay away, but when I opened my mouth, words would not come out. _Tell her, tell her, tell her what a monster you are. More worthy of Tartarus than we ever were._ The voice made me flinch. 

‘Here, Nico. Take a sip of water.’ Dionysus handed me the cup, which was filled to the brim with water and ice cubes. I managed to take a sip without spilling everything that was in it over my shirt. 

‘So. Now take a deep breath.’ I did as I was told. ‘Good. Now we are going to talk about what just happened.’ It felt as if someone lit a match in my stomach.

‘...Okay.’

‘Fifteen minutes ago, there was a monster attack in this Denny’s. You took one of them down by turning the beast into a sentient skeleton. After that, you went into a shock, presumably because you are afraid that you will hurt the people around you with this new power.’ He paused. I felt as if someone gut-punched me, but I wanted him to go on. Get it over with. Allow me to repress it. _You should never repress it. You should see this as a sign._ Piss off, pretty please. ‘Is that right?'

‘...Yes.’ 

‘Alright. Can I go on?’

‘Yesplease.’

‘You are afraid of hurting the people you love. We were talking about that earlier this night. After seeing a concrete example of what you could do, it felt like evidence that you were dangerous. That is, however, not true.’ Another pause.

‘How?’ _Watch him lie. Watch him pretend like you are a good person. He probably gets something out of it. There must be favours from Hades._

‘You only turned a monster into a skeleton because you were trying to protect a friend.’ He nodded at Mary, who smiled and winked in a way only a daughter of Aphrodite ever could. ‘If you think about yourself, Nico, do you truly think you would hurt someone you care about? Knowingly?’ 

_You always do._ ‘Well… when… when I was young…’ My hands began to shake. I shoved them under my shirt. ‘I... I tried to destroy Percy. I was… I hated him.’ For a second, Dionysus had a look in his eyes that seemed to say ‘didn’t we all?’

‘Why did you hate him?’

My throat closed up. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. ‘Bianca’s death.’ It could not have been louder than a whisper. ‘My sister died, after Percy… he had promised to bring her back safely. He promised!’ It had been a stupid promise. Somehow, I could not blame Percy after all those years. What else could he have done? ‘But she did not. And I loathed him because of it.’ I sobbed a few times, while the tears kept coming. Mary stood up and walked towards the counter. 

‘You were ten when your sister died, right?’

I counted on my fingers for a moment. ‘I… I guess.’ 

‘Who could blame a ten year old, who just lost his sister, for being angry at the person who, in his eyes, caused this loss? Wouldn’t that make someone a monster? And you said it yourself - you hated him. With a d at the end. That makes it a thing of the past. You’ve grown and understand now that he did the best he could.’ He said it through gritted teeth, as if he could not believe he was defending Percy Jackson of all people. ‘You never wanted to cause him harm out of malice. And I know of no other instances where you hurt anybody who didn’t deserve it. You are a good person, Nico di Angelo. As I said earlier, you can make friends with almost anyone, including gods, titans, monsters, troglodytes and who knows what else.’ 

I looked at my shaking hands, then at my cup of water, still sobbing. For one of the first times since I started therapy, I could not wrap my head around what he was saying. It went one ear in, out the other. He could have been speaking Russian. Still, somewhere, I knew he was right. I could just not get in touch with that sentiment.

‘Are… do you… sure?’ I wiped away a few tears. 

‘What purpose is there in lying? Appeasing Hades? Like I want to. I broke the rules of his realm thrice, there is nothing I can do to salvage that relationship.’

I trusted him on his words. Get three people back from the dead, sure, why not, man, why not. It made me feel calmer. I even let out a shaky giggle. 

Mary came back, with a washcloth for my face and a new milkshake. ‘Here. With extra ice-cream. Gods, you need it.’

I managed to give her a teary smile. ‘Thanks.’ She held it out for me, but I did not take it. She sighed, sounding a little sad, and put it down on the table. I picked it up. 

A few big sips later, I got a brainfreeze. ‘Ow!’ 

‘Oh, come…’ I flinched when she touched my forehead. ‘Oh no. Sorry.’ 

‘...Hm.’ She did not turn into a pile of bones - that was something. I took a few more sips, but already knew that there was no way I would finish the entire milkshake. 

I began to feel tired. Not that the voices piped down. Dionysus laid his hands onto the table. ‘Nico, I think it is time we go back to camp. A lot happened tonight.’ I nodded. 

Dionysus helped me get up from the couch. Mary smiled, with a little wave, when we disappeared. 

We reappeared in front of my cabin door. Dionysus gave me a little push in the back. ‘Right now, I want you to go to sleep. In the following days, I want you to think about my words and what happened. If you feel like you made up your mind, you come to me to talk more about it.’ I nodded again. ‘Sleep tight.’

‘Thanks,’ I whispered. 

I stood in my cabin for some time, until I heard a knock at the door. I looked up, while Will was walking in. ‘Hey, Nico.’ 

My heart pounded in my chest. ‘Get away.’ I might destroy you. _You will destroy him._

He shook his head. ‘No. I think you need someone to look after you right now.’

‘Are you sure Dionysus isn’t the one thinking I need someone to look after me?’

He shrugged. ‘If you really want me to leave, I’ll leave.’ 

I fell down, onto my bed. ‘I don’t want you to leave,’ I whispered. ‘But I don’t want you to touch me either. Not now.’ 

Will walked over to my bed and sat down at the foot. He smiled at me. It was a small smile, but also one that told me he would love me through everything. ‘I’ll just sit here.’

I nodded. ‘Thanks.’

I was beginning to drift away myself when I noticed Will had flopped onto my bed and fallen asleep. Slowly, I inched a little closer, but only a little. 

The next morning I woke up with my left arm around Wills’ waist. I must have put it there in my sleep. His right arm was around my shoulder. And we were both fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there anything Dionysus and Nico should talk about? Let me know! If you think of (Non-alcoholic :p) drinks that would be good with that, let me know as well.


	7. Chai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part seven already. I wrote a lot more for this fic than I anticipated.

I walked into the Big House with a carton of Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice and I got out with the god of alcohol. Dionysus halted on the porch for a moment, so I did the same. ‘There are a lot of people in the Big House right now. Are you okay with going to the strawberry fields?’

‘Forever.’ 

‘I am taking that as both a yes and a sign that you are beginning to feel better.’

We sat down on the little bench on the left side of the fields. It was still unclear who put the bench there, but right now I was grateful for it. There were a few Demeter kids walking around in the fields, but they were all the way on the other side. 

‘Nico di Angelo.’

‘Sir.’

‘Did you think about what happened at Denny’s?’

I nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, let me hear your thoughts, then.’ I fumbled with the orange juice box.

‘Well…’

‘Wait, before we start, do you really want orange juice?’

I shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t mind something else…’ The juice box changed into a steaming mug of tea, clearly with way too much sugar and milk in it. 

‘It’s Indian Chai. With cinnamon and pepper.’

I smiled and pressed the cup against my chest, so that it could warm my body. ‘Thanks. Yet, as I was saying…’ I paused. ‘I wasn’t really saying anything yet. But what I was planning on saying…’ . Come on, just say it, than it’s out, I told myself. 

‘I… I am feeling better than when I was feeling after the attack on Denny’s.’ Never thought I’d say those words in any serious context. ‘Obviously, I had time to process it after all…’

‘Stuff only gets better with time if you don’t bottle it up. If you do that, it might get way worse.’

I looked at him with big eyes. ‘What do you know about the other gods and their eon old bottled up trauma’s?’

‘Nothing, and even if I did, we would still be here to talk about you.’ He raised his eyebrows. Hm. Bummer. 

‘Yeah, yeah. Yet. Even though I… touched Will… by accident… um…’ I looked at the chai in my mug while trying to find the right words. Dionysus did not say anything. ‘Ehm… Say that I touched someone while I was still afraid of that and they did not turn to bones. That’s all, nothing else.’ I turned my gaze towards the strawberry fields, and then towards the Demeter campers, and then towards the grass; basically towards anything that was not Dionysus. 

‘I get the gist of it.’

‘Right. So, even though I did that and I began to realise I was probably safe early on, I still get a bit startled when someone touches me or when I touch someone.’ 

‘It is only normal that it takes some time to work through it. That is okay, as long as you actively put in the work to go through with it.’ 

‘Yes.’ He’d said that a hundred times before, but he’d probably just repeat it over and over again until I did not repress stuff any longer. ‘Yesterday, I high-fived someone…’

‘Good.’

I took a sip of my chai. ‘Anyway, about the turning-to-bones-thing.’ I shifted on the bench. ‘While I am still afraid of it, it feels like it is something that I could use to my advantage.’ I felt my muscles clenching. It sounded wrong when I said it like that. ‘I don’t… not that I…’ I looked at my cup. This was more difficult than I had anticipated. 

‘Are you trying to say that you don’t want to manipulate other people with the new power?’

‘Yes, because of course I don’t.’ I took another sip of tea. ‘I do not want to manipulate people with that power. But I do want to…’ I looked straight ahead of me, while rethinking my choices. Suddenly what I was about to say seemed like the dumbest thing I had ever thought of. 

‘Even if it seems stupid or weird, say it anyway. Than we’ll discuss togheter if it really is stupid or weird and why.’

‘... I want to train the power. The power to… you know. We’ve been talking about it the whole time.’

‘Yes, I know.’ He looked surprised. ‘Is it because you think mastering the power and learning to control it will help you control the fear that is behind it? The fear that you will hurt people?’

Yes, that is exactly what I meant. ‘...Probably.’

‘That sounds like a good idea.’

‘You think?’

‘Yes. That way you learn how to control a strange new power and it will help you learn that you do not hurt others on purpose. Two in one.’ 

When he put it that way, it sounded a lot smarter than it did in my head a few moments ago. It sounded as sensible as when I first thought about it. 

‘Yes!’ I shook the mug a little. A bit of chai dripped onto my hand, but that didn’t bother me. It was not so hot anymore. I took a swig - the chai was creamy, sweet, spicy and delicious. 

‘Do you have an idea as to how you will train it?’ 

I stared at my hands. ‘I could not come up with anything else than slowly letting apples wither. Those are not really creatures with bones, but I can’t go around randomly hurting those, so…’

‘How about the rats?’

‘The rats?’

‘Did I not tell you about the rodents? Before you came to the Big House, Chiron was talking about the rats in the storage. That is why there were so many people there. I wanted to exterminate them, but if you have a use for them…’

‘No!’ I shook my head. ‘I don’t… they are alive too. You know what, do give them to me. I’ll put them in a cage. I’ll care for them.’ 

Dionysus gave me a strange look. ‘Alright, then. Train with apples, play with rats.’ 

I shrugged and drank the last bit of chai. ‘It just feels wrong to ban the rats to the Underworld.’ Dionysus looked at me. 

‘That sounds like something for a future session.’ Man. Did I just shoot myself in the foot. 

‘...Perhaps.’

‘Absolutely.’ We looked at the strawberry fields for some time. 

‘Don’t you have rats to catch?’ 

‘Well, Nico, I am glad you are getting better. That does not mean you should start giving the gods a big mouth.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Glad we got that straight. No go to your apples. I’ve got rats to catch.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that wraps up part 3! Don’t worry, I’ll write more. The next story will probably be about Nico’s experience with king Minos, which we can see in battle of the labyrinth. I am thinking about a chapter about Hades after that. Thanks for all the tips!


	8. Starbucks Chocolate Milk

There was a knock on my cabin door. I did not recognise the knocking pattern, like I would if it was Will or one of my friends. ‘Yes?’

‘Good afternoon, Nico di Angelo. Have you ever been to highline park?’ Dionysus. Figures. 

‘Highline park, Sir?’ 

‘It is a park in New York city, built on what once was a railway.’

‘And you think that that is the best place for a therapy session?’

‘Perhaps not the best, but it is a place. Are you coming?’ I mean, sure, why not, but also, do I really have a choice?

Ten minutes later, we were walking in highline park, after we had made a pitstop at Starbucks for a hot chocolate. It seemed to be Dionysus’ ideology that you cannot have a therapy session without a drink and I whole-heartedly agreed. 

‘Alright. I noticed that you really made progress with training your new power. Yet, can you explain why you eventually chose to turn the rats to bones when you were previously against that?’

I looked at my chocolate milk. So he had seen the rats despite my best efforts to hide them. ‘One of the rats became really ill. I thought that… maybe I could releave it from its pain. Yet, when I... bonified... it, it acted as if it was any healthy rat, with the added bonus that I can control them if I want to. The soul stayed with it. That made me comfortable enough to try it out on the other rats, because I would not be banishing them to the Underworld.’

‘Are you going to keep the rats in camp Half-blood?’

‘I am planning on releasing them in the woods outside of camp.’

‘Well done, Nico. Very well done.’

I smiled and took a sip of cocoa. Dionysus took a moment to look around the park, so I did the same thing. It was slim, but filled with a lot of greenery and art. It made me feel at ease, which was probably what Dionysus had been going for when he brought me here. 

‘What would you say if I told you we have something difficult to talk about today?’

I don’t like that. ‘Get it over with.’ 

‘Than I am going to do exactly that. Without further ado: I want to talk about your experience with king Minos.’

That? Oh, dude, I thought you wanted to talk more about Cupid, or about my trip down to Tartarus or something. Minos? That’s small potatoes. I took a big gulp before I answered. ‘That’s alright.’ 

‘Alright, than we will talk about your time with one of the idiot kings of Ancient Greece.’ I turned to him. Clearly there was more going on between Minos and Dionysus. ‘Please tell me what happened between you and Minos,’ he continued. ‘No, lets start off easier: how did you meet him?’ 

I stuck my hand out, so that I could touch the fresh april leaves on the bushes. A little dew stuck to my hands. ‘How I met him? Well, eh... It’s…’ Perhaps slightly more difficult to talk about than I initially thought. 

‘Remember: I just want to know how you met him, not why, or when, or anything else.’ 

‘His ghost appeared to me...’ Yes, that is a start, ‘...while I… was trying to summon a different ghost. In the traditional way, not in a son-of-Hades way.’

‘... The traditional way?’ 

‘Yes. Oh! Eh, I did not use blood, though.’ I shrugged. ‘I summoned ghosts with Happy-meals. It worked, okay?’

‘If it works, it works. Happy-meals are cheaper than livestock anyway.’ 

‘Yes, well, so, Minos’ ghost appeared to me, even though he was not the ghost I was looking for. That was…’ I bit my lip and looked at my cup. I stopped walking.  
‘Take a deep breath…’ I did as I was told, until I felt calm enough to say it. 

‘I was trying to summon my sisters’ ghost. I wanted to talk to her again…’ I wanted to add a because after that, but that sentence felt redundant. Even a God would understand why I wanted to see Bianca. 

‘Alright. That’s how you met. So, why did you keep him around?’

‘Because he told me he could help me with resurrecting Bianca. And with... getting back at Percy. We already talked about that for a bit.’ 

‘We did. Please go on.’ 

‘So, because I thought he could help me achieve my goals, I kept him around. That. But I do want to say that I did not really have a choice. He… kept appearing. Even when I tried to summon other ghosts, he’d rear his head. Even when I... finally summoned Bianca.’

Dionysus was quiet for a bit. Maybe he thought it would be helpful to let it settle for a moment. ‘Did your sister tell you anything, once you finally got to see her?’

‘Yes.’

‘Can you tell me what?’

‘She said…’ I could still hear her words in my head, ‘She explained to me that I was not angry with Percy, but with her. For…’ Oh man. When do I learn that talking about issues is never as easy as I think? I swallowed the lump that had appeared in my throat, before taking a shaky breath. 

‘I think it might be better if we talk about that at a later moment.’ You think? ‘We were talking about king Minos. Can you tell me about how you stopped talking with him?’ He raised one of his eyebrows, as if he suddenly got the suspicion that our contact did not end.

‘He… do you know anything about what happened in the labyrinth?’

‘Parts of it. I was scouting out the minor gods at the time, remember?’ 

Oh, right. ‘Well… Alright. So, after contacting Bianca and hearing what she said... I was not immediately back on Percy’s side, but I grew to be. After Minos caught wind of that, he first tried to sway me. When that did not work… he lied to me, told me Percy and Annabeth were in danger, in order to trick me into being captured by agents of Luke and… you-know-who.’ I took a sip of chocolate milk before I continued. ‘I was captured, so instead of me going after Annabeth and Percy to save them, they had to come and save me. They did so and when they found me, it turned into a battle. During that battle, which was in Daedalus’ workshop…’ I stopped for a second. ‘Oh right, he was in the picture too.’

‘Minos hated him. Always has.’

‘Yes, he really did. But that’s beside the point. During the battle, I opened a fissure in the ground, back to the underworld, and Minos fell through. That ended our contact, except that he went right back to being a judge.’ I felt a little sick at the thought of that man still being in charge of who deserved Elysium and who did not, all because Zeus was adamant about the judges of the underworld being his sons. Maybe we could put Jason in Minos’ place. Hm. Maybe I would bring that up with my dad the next time I saw him.

‘I find it ridiculous too. Minos, a judge of the underworld. The guy is only out for his own good, always has been. Anyway!’ I took a big swig of chocolate milk, while looking at Dionysus. I sensed that I was not the only one in the current company that had bad memories about king Minos. ‘Now, we have the whole story. Minos preyed on you because of the grief you had for your sister, which made you vulnerable, and perhaps even liable to join the titan army.’ I winced at that statement, but I did not go against it. ‘For months, he managed to manipulate you. But then you managed to summon your sister and her words made it difficult for him to keep a grip on you. So, he tricked you into being captured by Kronos’ army. But all's well that ends well and you banished our good old king Minos to the Underworld.’ Yes, keep it at that. I banished him. To the Underworld. Where he is now. I bopped my head in what was meant to be a nod. ‘Good. Now, we have to see if this is still affecting you. But first, look at that.’ He pointed towards an old factory, towering up beisde the Highline. 

‘An old factory?’ 

‘An old factory where they invented the Oreo cookie.’ He shrugged. ‘Someone told me once. I think.’ 

‘Cool.’ I looked at my cup, before taking a tiny sip. There was almost nothing left. 

‘Yes. That concludes our little break. So. Do you ever get in touch with Minos, or with things alluding to Minos, in your everyday life? You can start with easy examples.’ 

Well, my therapist is his son-in-law, for one. ‘Sometimes Chiron talks about him during mythology class.’ So, that was easy and I began with that. ‘So, obviously, sometimes the campers talk about him. And every now and then, when they find out that I met him, they will try to ask me questions about him. That…’ I looked at the skyline and took another deep breath, which calmed me down enough to continue. ‘That is usually when I get nightmares. Only for a few nights at the time, but it is almost as if king Minos notices it when I am thinking about him. Maybe he…’ I shrugged. ‘I don’t understand why he would still be preying on me. The titan war is over and I am not going to do anything for him ever, so…’ I took the last sip of my chocolate milk and immediately felt like I should not have done that. ‘I think he just wants to haunt me out of malice.’ 

Dionysus sighed and nodded. ‘But I get that it is not something that bothers you all the time?’

‘No, as I said, only when someone mentioned him, so, when he is already on my mind. Otherwise he cannot get through my defenses.’ 

‘That sounds like we almost have one subject less to talk about. Do you experience mental or physical pain when you think of Minos, or when he appears in your dreams?’ 

I shrugged, again, wishing I still had some chocolate milk left. I never really dwelled on Minos. He was a giant loser. He had been… a symptom of a disease. ‘It… I don’t think it ever really was about Minos. It was… he… he promised…’ I looked at Dionysus. I could really use someone to think for me right now. 

‘You are thinking that Minos marks a nasty fase in your life, but mostly because you associate him with the grief about your sister and how you allowed that to best you for half a year. There is not a lot of trauma or pain tied to Minos, but there is a lot of trauma in what he represents: the desperate want to get your sister back.’   
Now there were tears rolling down my face and falling into my empty cup. ‘...Yes,’ I whispered, ‘Because... even though usually I can let it go... there are still days when I miss her more than anything.’ Dionysus tapped my cup, so that it filled up with more chocolate milk. I took a shaky sip. 

‘I think it might be time to stop now,’ Dionysus said in a soothing voice. 

‘Are we not going to talk about Bianca today?’

‘No. That would be too much. We already worked through something else today. Now it is time to let it be for a moment.’ 

I took a few big sips. ‘Hm.’

‘I think I am going to tell you about some of the worst things Minos did as king, now.’

‘Yes, please. Sounds like a blast.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every Dutchman knows that the best chocolate milk is from Chocomel.   
> Mannn I had to read a lot of parts from battle of the labyrinth again. I was fourteen (I think??) when I first did that and some things definitely slipped my mind (like Nico sees Theseus when he tries to summon Biancas’ ghost?? I forgot??). I hope I got it right now.   
> I think this is how Nico feels about Minos. He was just an evil king, one of many, who he banished, so… yeah.   
> ‘Highline park, sir?’ has as many syllables as ‘Aaron Burr, sir,’ so guess what I had in my head while editing this.  
> I was feeling a bit tired when writing this, because of my test week, so sorry if there are any irregularities. Next chapter will be more of Nico's life - I think it might be a longer arc, of five, maybe six or seven chapters.


	9. Anise Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is... different from what even I was expecting, but I think it is nesecarry.

‘Nico di Angelo?’ I looked over. Dionysus was sitting on a concrete block near the climbing wall. I sighed and walked over to where he was sitting. ‘Sir.’ He pushed a mug into my hand. ‘Is there an emergency that you want to talk about right now?’

I raised my eyebrows. ‘No. I thought there was something you wanted to discuss. Because you were the one to call me over, push a mug into my hand and with that announce that therapy is in session.’ I sat down next to him. 

‘That’s true, but if there is something urgent going on, I’d rather we’d talk about that than about what I had in mind.’

‘Thanks, but there is nothing. We can go on with what you had planned.’ Dionysus nodded. My mug filled itself with Anise milk. I held it in my lap while I prepared myself for what was about to come. 

‘The next thing I wanted to talk about was…’ yeah, yeah, Bianca. ‘...Hades.’ 

Wait. What is this that you are saying? ‘...Hades?’ I almost let the mug slip from my hands. ‘As in… about the Underworld? The place?’

‘No, I meant your father. Now, I know, Nico, that this will be a difficult subject…’ 

‘Didn’t you… I thought you wanted to talk about Bianca. Because… last time...’ I was so confused that I couldn’t say anything else. 

‘I wanted to talk about a few things, in multiple sessions, that all tie back to your sister.’ He got a concerned look in his eyes. It almost seemed as if he thought he had made a mistake. ‘But as I was saying: I know this will be a difficult subject. Yet, I also think it will be one of the cornerstones on the way to recovery.’ 

Oh, he knows this will be difficult. That apparently makes it better. I looked him dead in the eye. 

There were a few seconds of silence. ‘Can you tell me what you are thinking right now?’ 

‘Probably exactly what you think I am thinking: why did you not give me any word ahead, so I could prepare? I just... I was there, and then I was here, and...And… why did you not give me any word ahead, so I could prepare? I just…’ I shook my head. And… why did you not give me any word ahead, so I could prepare? I just…’Also, I... I mean... why would I tell an Olympian god what I, or, the son of another high-ranking god, feel about that god? I…’ I stopped. This might as well be received as disrespectful. ‘Go on, Nico. It’s alright. I understand what you are getting at.’

Sure, sure. ‘Well… that… hm.’ I hunched over my shoulders. ‘Whatever I say might as well become an arrow in the quiver later down the line. Maybe that will take years, or centuries, but it might as well be next week.And… why did you not give me any word ahead, so I could prepare? I just…’ I tapped the bench and shook my head again. ‘I just was walking through camp, and...’ I pressed my mug against my chest. 

Dionysus nodded slowly. ‘I… know. I understand that you are uncomfortable with this subject.’ He looked at the concrete for a moment. ‘And… that I could have warned you beforehand.’

I did not answer. I felt repulsed to saying anything right now. ‘I am going to the bathroom for a moment.’ 

‘Of course.’

When I came back, I still did not know how to talk or what to say. So instead of using words, I just looked at my mug. After some time, Dionysus coughed. I did not look up, but I could hear the remorse in his words. ‘Maybe… I should have told you in more detail how I am planning to help you.’ You think? ‘I think I might have gotten the wrong impression that you easily adapt to most subjects.’

‘What… How…’ My hands were shaking a bit. A droplet of milk fell onto my pants. ‘Can you do that now, then? Explain it, I mean?’

He nodded. ‘Well, eh... first of all, we can take as much time as you think you will need with what I’ve got planned.’ I slowly nodded, but still did not look up. ‘What I want to do is try to get to the very core of the grief you feel for your sister, so we can try to work through that and help you manage it. Not just because it will make carrying that grief, that went unchecked for so long, easier, but also because I think it will be a way to talk about other stuff that is plaguing you. For example, how you felt about Percy Jackson…’ At this point, my heart skipped a beat, until I realised he was probably talking about how I hated him. I still felt like I would never tell Dionysus about how I had truly felt about Percy. ‘...but also about Jason Grace and, not a small feat, your journey through Tartarus.’ The word ’journey’ rubbed me the wrong way. As if it had been a fun walk through the woods. ‘And I think that when we combine all of those issues, we might be able to actively work on silencing the voices in your head, not just on living with them. I think Hades is someone who had a part in how you feel about Bianca and that is why I wanted to talk about him first. He is something that deserves his own conversation, but also something that ties into a bigger issue. I think we first need to talk about Hades, before we can properly talk about Bianca. Now, as I said before, I might have ran ahead of you.’ A short break, a few seconds of silence. ‘Now I ask you: how do you feel about all this?’ 

I took the time to think of an answer, and Dionysus respected that. In the meantime, I drank up my anise milk. ‘I think that it is a good idea to try and tackle the subjects like that, even though we both know that it will be hard and difficult work. I think it will be worth it if it will really help me feel better. But…’ I looked at my hands. ‘...I would have really appreciated it if you had told me ahead what you were planning on doing. Because the talk about king Minos also ties into this, doesn’t it?’

A nod. 

‘Yes. So… that.’ I put my hand over the cup. 

‘I am glad you still trust me enough to go on. And, Nico…’ he wiped a lock of hair out of his face, ‘I… I guess I feel sorry that I did not tell you earlier. That was a mistake and I’ll try not to make it again.’ It dawned on me that it was the first time during the therapy sessions that he had truly apologised to me. Actually, it was the first time ever that I heard a god apologise. 

‘Thanks.’ Now, I looked up. We were both smiling. ‘I think I will be ready for the next session in a couple of days.’ 

‘Then you are free for now. I’ll throw you a juice box sometime soon.’ I put down my mug and stood up. ‘Bye, Dionysus.’

‘Bye, Nico.’

My smile faded while I was walking to the Apollo cabin. I knocked and asked for Will, who immediately came to the door, put his arm around my shoulders and walked towards my cabin with me. There, we sat down on the porch. ‘It’s alright, Nico.’

I softly grabbed his face and kissed him. He put both of his arms around my waist. After I pulled back, I slumped against his chest and slid my own arms around him. ‘Dionysus just told me… it will be difficult. In short, he wants to tackle a few things so that we can get on the road to feeling better about Bianca. After that, he wants to continue with everything that happened after her death.’ I pushed my head against his chest. I felt afraid. 

‘That… that sounds like it will be a rough next few weeks.’

‘I’d… I’d say months.’ Will pulled me closer and pressed a kiss onto my forehead. 

‘You can do this. I know you can. And what is a few months, or even a few years, if it means a happier rest of your life after that?’ 

I did not answer. Will´s arms were warm and comfortable and it made me feel a little, a little safer. He would understand it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult chapter to write, because I set out to write a chapter about Hades, but then I realised I needed this in order to make that. Nico would not just trust Dionysus out of nowhere. It took a lot of thinking, coca-cola zero and Hadestown in the background to get to this.
> 
> In the next chapter, they’ll continue about Hades. I got a suggestion that I should write about Nico talking to Hades and not only about Hades as well, and I think I am going to try to built that in somewhere.


	10. Fanta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 10. I am going to give myself a pat on the back.

‘Nico?’ 

Huh? I stopped doing what I was doing and looked at the clock. 10 P.M. ‘Dionysus, sir?’

‘I thought you would be awake. If you are not plotting out a plan to save the world, would you mind if we did a therapy session?’

I would not particularly mind. I got up from the ground, walked to the door and opened it. ‘Yes, we can do a small session.’ 

Dionysus looked at me. ‘Good. Denny’s?’

‘Where else?’

Mary pushed a Fanta into my hands as soon as we entered the restaurant. ‘I am glad to see you are doing better!’

‘Eh, yes, sorry for not sending you a message after what happened last time.’ 

Dionysus shrugged. ‘I let her know you were feeling better.’ Aha.

‘...Thanks. To you too, Mary, for the Fanta.’

She smiled and winked again. ‘I get it, Nico. Now go talk about important things. I am expecting a small rush of pre-party people to come in soon and you two are in the way.’ 

We sat down and I took a deep breath. 

‘Alright, are you feeling calm enough to start?’ 

‘Yes. I think I am ready.’ 

‘Good.’ He waited while I pulled the tab of my can. ‘Let’s start at the very beginning. How did you first meet your father?’ I took a sip while trying to put my thoughts in order.

‘I probably first met him… right before he transported me, my sister and my mother out of fascist Italy, to America. I… don’t really have a lot of memories of that. Just that one day, mom said that Mussolini was not our leader anymore, we were in a new house and there was a tall, scary, pale man.’ I shrugged. I wanted to dig further in my memories, to remember exactly what happened, but on the other hand I did not think that that was a good idea. I shifted the can around. 

´Then… I remember a hotel lobby, it must have been near Los Angeles. It was nothing fancy. Me… my sister was playing with me on the floor, and I remember that the same creepy man was sitting next to my mother. It could be that I don’t really remember him being there, but like... that I think he probably was there.’ Dionysus nodded as if he understood. ‘Then there was a loud noise, like a bomb going off and the next thing I remember is that someone delivers us to this loud, flashy place, just… think Vegas, because it was Vegas…’ My voice died down. I fumbled with my Fanta can. ‘...And my mother was gone,’ I quietly said. 

‘I think it is very likely that what you are saying are not all memories, but that you are piecing a few things together, like you said. Don’t worry about that. Now, if you can go on, go on,’ Dionysus reassured me. 

‘Bianca and I were brought to the Lotus hotel and casino.’ Dionysus blinked a few times. ‘It’s, uh… from what I can remember... and from what Percy filled me in on, because he has been there too… on first glance it seems like the best hotel in all of Vegas, filled with everything a kid would love. The difference is that time goes way faster in that place than in the rest of the world. If you’d ask me, and you are, I would say that my sister and I were in there for perhaps a few weeks. Yet, when we got out, it was suddenly a new century.’

‘I... know of the Lotus hotel, let us keep it at that,’ Dionysus told me. Even though that was interesting, I sighed and went on. I had something important to say next. 

I…’ I took a sip, which stopped me from talking, ‘I am sure he wanted to protect us. Hades, I mean. From Zeus, who… I believe he was the one who… made that other hotel collapse. I don't… I don't know…’ I shrugged. I held a hand in front of my eyes. The talking had gone easier than I had expected, but now the tears were starting to catch up. ‘Perhaps the relationships between the gods in the years leading up to the second world war were a factor.’

‘They absolutely were, yet…’ Dionysus shook his head. ‘Hm. I mean that while that is true, Zeus can be…’ He did not finish the sentence, but I understood. ‘Do you need a break?’ he asked, while a tear rolled down my cheek. 

‘Just a moment,’ I answered, ‘I… a lot is coming out right now.’

He nodded again, while waiting for me to dry my eyes, take a few breaths and sip my Fanta. Meanwhile, a song came on the radio. ‘The sun ain´t gonna shine anymore,’ from the Walker Brothers. 

‘That is one of the songs that I vividly remember playing in the Lotus hotel,’ I explained. ‘There are a few of those, like Rum and Coca cola, Don´t go breaking my heart, Girls just wanna have fun…’

‘Those are songs from different eras. Different decades.’

‘Yes well, they just came by, one by one. Only the biggest hits, as if the other songs were forgotten too fast.’ I sighed again. ‘The hotel was a blur, a fantastic blur. Yet, after those… what felt like weeks, we were picked up by someone who turned out to be Alecto. Me and my sister were brought to a military school.’ At this point I could not help but roll my eyes. ‘We quickly learned that we were in a strange new place, without Yugoslavia and stuff.’ Dionysus smiled when I mentioned Yugoslavia. Alright, it was a pretty strange way of saying that the world had changed. ‘After a few months, Percy, Thalia and the others found us and brought us to camp.’ I took a sip. My eyes narrowed.

‘Then… You know, even though I was introduced to the world of demigods, I only really met my dad a year and a half later...’

‘I was like nineteen when I first really met Zeus.’ I looked up at Dionysus. 

‘You did?’

‘Yes, after I wreaked enough havoc, Zeus finally decided that it was probably time to grand me the time of day…’ he took a deep breath. ‘But this is not about that.’

‘Is it not? It is at least good to know that other godly parents can be just as… well…’

‘Negligent.’ That got me quiet. I had not expected him to say that. ‘You are surprised.’

‘I mean, I did not expect…’ I shuddered with my shoulders. 

‘I have been at your camp for almost seventeen years at this point, I have been a demigod and you don't think that I know how cold the gods can be?’ I could not really think of a reaction. 

Dionysus seemed to come to his senses after that. ‘So… I think you should go on. You were really on a roll.’

‘Alright. So, the time I really met him.’ I began to feel nervous again. ‘I… I went into the underworld after I talked to Percy. You know that, because you talked to Percy afterwards, I saw it.’ Dionysus did not look apologetic at all for eavesdropping on us. Godly awareness only went so far, I guess. ‘When I came into the underworld… well, my father… he immediately called me over to the palace. He did not want…’ I looked at the table and took a deep breath. 

‘Take it easy.’

‘Either he did not want me to roam around the underworld on my own, or he really did care for me, or something else. The why is besides the point.’

‘We´ll get to the why soon, after you’ve finished talking.’ Joy!

‘Luckily that was during the summer. That meant I had some time to get to know my dad, and he could get to know me, before…’ I sighed, ‘Before Persephone got a say in the matter.’ 

‘Hm.’

‘So… I quite soon learned… he probably… prefered my sister over me.’ 

‘Why do you think that?’

‘He told me.’

‘Aha.’

‘Yes. He… maybe he did not mean it. Maybe he was just devastated because she was…’ My throat began to hurt. Tears were burning in the corners of my eyes. ‘Because she was dead. And he had...’ My eyebrows raised while I came to a conclusion. ‘... he had saved us up, I guess, so that we could be a part of a prophecy. So that we, or at least he, would be important for once. And I think he saw that plan go up in smoke. I… I don’t know if I should be happy that he wanted to give us a part in a prophecy.’ I really did not know. If I had not been part of the prophecy, I would have never had Will, or I would have still been in the Lotus casino. But being part of the prophecy was not something I liked, much less three times. Plus, it seemed like Hades mostly wanted to do it for his own good. ‘I… maybe Hades does have good meanings, but he can’t really express it.’

Dionysus put a hand on the table. ‘He might have trouble expressing how he feels, but that does not excuse him from hurting you the way he did, or from the fact that he wanted to use you for his own goal. He should have known better.’

‘Do the gods ever know better?’ It was out before I knew it. Dionysus raised his eyebrows. I decided to let him pick up the conversation again. 

‘I cannot answer that. Not now.’ He looked at the table

‘Should we stop?’ I asked. ‘If it gets difficult, we can stop.’ 

‘Watch your words, Nico.’ I grinned. ‘I’ll say what I am thinking first, and then we can stop. I think you already came up with the solution to why your father wanted you in the palace. I, indeed, think that he wanted a child of Hades to be the hero of a prophecy. He probably reasoned that if a child of Hades saved the day, he would be more welcome in his family, but so would his kids.’ 

‘You are saying that it was good for him and for me and my siblings?’

‘I am saying that I think he thought that was the case.’

‘Then he was right. I helped with the titan war, and now I’ve got my own cabin.’ 

‘Perhaps Hades was right. But let me say it again: nothing excuses the way abused you.’

I thought for a moment. ‘No, it doesn’t.’ I downed the last sip of Fanta. ‘I think we can stop now. Because it got so difficult for you.’

‘Watch your words. We’ll go on about Hades next time, unless something important comes up in your life and you would prefer to talk about that.’

‘Yes, alright.’ Probably not. I wanted clarity and I felt like we had been stalling long enough. Time to get it over with - after I got a few good nights rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if the ‘tab of the can’ is a thing. It is what google translate told me the ‘Lipje van het blikje’ was (for those who didn't know: I am a native Dutch speaker).  
> Yes, I said a new centruy, because I honest to god don't understand the PJO timeline.  
> More about Hades next time and more with Hades in the chapter after that.


	11. Sweet Iced Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Hades. Shout out to my music generator on Youtube.

I wasn’t going to sleep tonight, I could feel it. Instead, I got up, grabbed a juice box from my closet and shadow travelled out of my cabin, to the Big House. A few minutes later, I was at Denny’s with Dionysus. 

‘I thought it would be a good idea to make use of this time instead of just laying in my bed and thinking about tomorrow.’

‘Yeah, sure, but there is a tomorrow for me as well. A tomorrow in a very busy camp filled with teenagers.’

‘I mean, we don’t have to…’

‘Yes, we do. You want to talk right now, and there are important things for you to talk about.’

‘Hades.’

‘Yes, Hades.’ 

‘Can I just begin?’

‘If you feel like you know what to talk about, you can begin.’

‘Than I will not hold you up,’ Mary, our regular server, piped in. She put down a sweet tea, winked and dashed back to the counter. I looked at my sweet tea and took a breather. Alright. I got this. ‘So, last time… last time we got to the point where I actually had to live with my dad. And how he… was not the nicest to me.’

‘Yes. We talked about that.’ 

‘Yes. I also told you he… told me he had wanted Bianca to survive, rather than me.’ So. That. ‘But… I do not think he fully meant it. I think he was grieving, or disappointed because he thought his plan to let his children save the day could not go through. He…’ I bit my lip. ‘He… he definitely wanted that last thing. He even locked Percy Jackson into a dungeon in his palace, because he wanted me to get up and do what Percy was slated to do. That…’ 

‘Telling you that he would rather have Bianca survive than you is unacceptable, no matter what he was feeling or what his intentions were. I already said that last time. Even if he did want one of his kids to succeed so that they would be respected, he could have done that by actually training you instead of releasing you from the Lotus hotel when he thought your time was ripe to be useful. And locking Percy Jackson in a dungeon, no matter how attractive, is also a terrible way of solving things.’

I thought about that. ‘Yes. But, at some point during those months I was there, he seemed to… comply with the fact that I was what he had. He, and Persephone…’ Oh, man, Persephone. Help me gods. ‘And… and Demeter, she was also there… at some point, they decided to listen to me and helped with defeating the army attacking Olympus while the other gods were off fighting Typhon. That.’ I looked at the table. ‘I mean to say that he began to listen to me. After the war, I got my own cabin in camp Half-blood and the other campers began to accept me, but I was still not in camp very often. Some of the time, I was in camp Jupiter and sometimes in the Underworld. The contact with my father… became less as when I lived in the Underworld for an entire year, of course, but we kept it up. Now, I am in camp half-blood more often, but I still go to the Underworld now and then. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes not. He… Hades… he gave me a French taxi-driver. He is dead. The taxi driver. I… don’t know if that means anything.’

‘He did not coach you more? About your powers, or just as a father?’ 

‘No. I think he is trying to be a better dad now, but he is not really sure how to do that. But…’ I shrugged and took a long sip of iced tea. Dionysus took a moment to think about what had been said. ‘Do you want to forgive him for how he treated you?’

‘I don’t know.’ I have been defending him and I would actually like a relationship with my father, but...

‘Nico, whether you forgive him or not is completely up to you. I won’t tell you how I feel about the situation. As long as he does not hurt you anymore and if you really think he changed his ways, or at least tries to do so… it’s up to you.’

Hm. This was one of those moments where it would have been easy if he had done all of that thinking for me. Alas, I nodded. ‘I’ll have to think about that some more.’

‘Take all the time you need. It is not something you need to rush to a conclusion for.’ 

‘No. Until that time, I… I just mentioned Persephone. I want to say something about her as well, now that I am talking anyway.’

Dionysus nodded. ‘That’s okay if you want to.’ 

I swallowed. The talking was more difficult this time than it had been last time, even if what we were saying had mostly been said before. ‘I don’t know when Persephone learned that we existed, but when she did, she ignored me until I was moved into the palace and she simply could not do that anymore. Which, can I give her credit for that?’ It seemed weird, giving someone credit for ignoring me. But it was better than being hunted down. 

‘I wish I could say you could not.’

I showed him a small smile. ‘Well, I am. While I was living in the Underworld… she still ignored me. From the few words she did say to me, I could make up that she did not like me, but she accepted that I was in the palace. She was not going to punish me for what my father did. That, or she was afraid that he would get angry if she tried to touch me.’ I looked at my cup.

‘I could not tell you which one of those is true, but I can tell you that Persephone was never a harsh stepmother,’ Dionysus filled in. 

‘Hm. In the time after the titan war, she did once get fed up with my presence in the Underworld, so she changed me into a dandelion.’ He was trying not to laugh. I was telling about my trauma and he was trying not to laugh. ‘Hades found out quite soon and ordered her to change me back. Afterwards, she did give me the pomegranate seeds that saved my life while I was in the jar that the twin giants put me in. I think they were meant as a make up gift, and at first I thought it was worthless, but boy.’ A few loud-talking people passed the restaurant. I looked over my shoulder until they were gone. ‘So, it might seem like Hades and Persephone are kind of… they both try. Hades to sort-of be a good parental figure and Persephone to accept me, or at least not make my life more difficult. But both…’

‘It is the same thing as I said before. They are both trying now, and it is up to you if you accept that or if you find that it is too little, too late. But it does not erase the fact that they hurt you in some way. In order to really work through that, you’ll have to talk to them as well.’ 

‘... Alright. But…’

My sentence was cut off by a herd of drunken twenty-somethings hurdling into the Denny’s. I turned around so I could take a look. A few of them were laughing, one was crying and what seemed to be the least drunk guy of the bunch winked at Mary. ‘A stack of three waffles for each of the boys, please.’ Mary sighed. ‘Coming right up. What kind of toppings do you want?’ 

‘Nothing but you, darling.’ He winked again and I cringed. That almost physically hurt. 

Mary was completely unfazed by it. ‘Alright, that will be six plain waffles. Do you want anything to drink with that?’

‘Nothing but your…’

‘Alright, alright, I know you can go on for the entire night, but that is more, more than enough.’ Dionysus stood up and walked towards the herd of drunken men. The ‘leader’ looked at him from head to toe. ‘And who do you think…’

‘Actually your lord and savior, seeing how you are drunk in a Denny’s at the moment, but I really wish I wasn’t.’

‘My… what?’ The guy was just drunk enough to get confused by that statement, it seemed. 

‘I’ll give you this.’ Dionysus tapped the guy on his forehead. His pupils grew creepily wide. ‘You go to the door. You’ll just wait outside, aghast, until your friends have finished their waffles. Then, you will never be able to find this place again. Your pals will know about the restaurant, but you won’t. You’ll never know what they are talking about and it might make your mind break in the future - who knows!.’ He twirled the guy around and pushed him in the back, towards the door. ‘Now leave.’ The guy left without a look around. 

Mary arched her brow. ‘I assume that is just five stacks of waffles, then.’ Dionysus smiled at her. She rolled her eyes and disappeared to make the waffles. I picked up my iced tea, stood up and walked over to Dionysus. ‘That… I mean…’

‘There are loads of people who make the party scene unsafe for the other party-goers. It is quite literally my job to root those people out. They, again quite literally, ruin my health.’ 

‘Right.’ I drank my sweet tea until there was no more. ‘Is the session over?’

He nodded. ‘Just one more thing: Do you want to talk to Hades?’

‘I’ll have to think about that.’ I put my cup on the counter. ‘But I might.’

‘If you decide that you want to, I’ll make sure you have extra free time.’ 

‘Does Chiron agree to it, then?’

‘Chiron finds it just as important as I and your sunny boyfriend do that you get proper help.’ He gave me a reassuring smile. I nodded, after which I yawned. ‘Alright.’

‘Good, then we can go back. But first…’ he pointed at the waffle makers. The next moment, five plates with plain waffles were standing on the counter. 

Mary came walking back, with her eyebrows raised. ‘That’s special.’ She looked at Dionysus. ‘Well, thanks.’ In reaction, he put a fifty dollar bill on the counter. 

‘No, you thanks. For letting us sit here, for serving us and for putting up with scum like that.’ Mary looked at the money. Then she smiled the warmest smile I had seen from her yet. ‘I am really, truly glad to be doing it.’ She waved us goodbye, while Dionysus transported us back to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, he won’t be talking about, but with Hades. Thanks to Rickandrowling28 for that idea! I also hope I did not skip anything that happened between Hades and Nico. Fandom wiki had been a real help, but it does not erase the fact that it is at least three years ago that I read the books (I got the first one from a friend on my fourteenth birthday and binge read the rest in three weeks or so after that).


	12. Thirst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hades time babey  
> Also happy Sinterklaas to everyone who is a fellow Dutchperson

I knocked on the door of my fathers’ private chambers. ‘Lord?’

‘Nico?’ I heard some stumbling around in the room. When Hades opened the door, he looked just as stern as always. He had a gaze that you could break rocks with. Which was better than the look he used for people he did not like, which was strong enough to slice through steel. ‘Are you not supposed to be training right now?’

‘Dionysus gave me extra free time so that I could have a talk with you.’

‘Why would my nephew want you to talk to me?’

‘I’ll explain that once we begin. Look, I even brought a juice box…’ I stopped talking and shrugged, ‘Which probably does not make sense to you at all.’

‘You can’t drink here, Nico.’ The look in his eyes changed. I could not tell if it was for the better or worse. ‘Did you consume anything while you were here?’ 

I shook my head. ‘No. And I can eat and drink here, dad, as long as I bring what I eat down here myself.’

‘Hm.’ Again, I was not sure what he meant with that. ‘Well, say what you want, but make it quick.’

‘I actually wanted to have a…’

‘I don’t have time for long conversations.’ I took a deep breath. Alright, quick it was. 

‘I… I have been having therapy sessions with Dionysus. He reached out to me and Will encouraged me to go. We have discussed a few subjects, including… well, we are going to be talking about Bianca next time.’ I had wanted to tell my father that we talked about him a few times, but I swallowed that. I was not sure I wanted to tell him that yet. 

He did not immediately answer. He stared at me, with a look of… something incomprehensible in his eyes. 

‘You have been talking about your personal issues with… Dionysus.’ He carefully pronounced the name, as if he was tasting something he did not like. 

I straightened my shoulders. ‘Yes. I honestly thought you would have heard of it by now.’ Hm. That might have been a little rude. 

He broke eye contact and stared ahead of him. ‘...I heard something like it, but I did not believe it was true. I thought the ghosts were just gossiping. You don’t know how many untruths have been spread that way.’

‘Well, this was really the case.’

‘And now you are going to talk, with Dionysus, about… your sister.’ There was a small twitch by the corner of his mouth. 

‘Yes. I have agreed to it. He has helped me feel better about a few other issues I had. I think he can help with this as well.’

‘Come in.’ He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me into the room. 

‘We need to have a conversation.’ Silently, I walked further into the chamber. Hades gestured towards a couch (that looked like it was made of upholstered bones) which was standing next to a coffee table, with another couch in front of it. I sat down on the right couch, so he went to the left one. I waited for him to start. 

‘How much did you talk about your sister?’

‘I said nothing about her yet. That is what we are going to be doing next session. But I said I first wanted to talk to you before we would talk about her.’

‘Why did you not tell me about this before?’ Finally, I could recognise emotions in his voice. He sounded angry, but also hurt.

‘If I can be honest, I did not really think about that. It was only when Dionysus suggested that I talk to you that I decided that it was a good idea.’

He stared at the coffee table. ‘You talked about me, didn’t you?’

I took a deep breath and waited a few moments before replying. ‘Yes, we did talk about you.’ He seemed too repulsed to say anything. ‘Can I go on?’

‘What did you tell him?’

‘I told him what happened between us and what I thought about that. With that I mean that I told him how you rescued me out of Fascist Italy, that you let me live in the palace and that you gave me my own chauffeur as a birthday gift, but I also told him that you put me in the Lotus hotel and that you did not want to listen to me in the months leading up to the Titan war.’

‘I kept you safe in the Underworld during the Titan war.’

‘I know.’ He did not respond, so I went on. ‘I know you wanted to keep me safe. And I know that you wanted a child of Hades to have a roll in the prophecy for once, so that both us and you would be accepted.’

His looked up at me. His gaze was somewhere between stone and steel. ‘I did.’

‘Yes. Yet, it is also so that you still hurt me, whether it was intentional or not.’ His eyes drifted to the wall behind him. ‘Dad?’

He turned to me again. His look got a little softer. ‘I realise I might have done that.’ I had not expected him to be so honest.

‘Oh… ah.’ I shifted on the couch. ‘Well… I…’ I looked at my hands. 

‘But I am trying to do better.’ Oh, he was not finished yet. I did not immediately continue, wondering whether something else was going to come out. But he just looked at me, in silence. 

I took another deep breath. ‘Yes, you are trying to do better. I know that. But you still hurt me in the past…’

‘Sorry.’

‘And eh… what?’

‘Sorry. That is what you want to hear, right?’ He looked up. His gaze was harder again. I looked at the table, wondering how I was going to say the thing I wanted to say. Now I understood why Dionysus usually gave me something to drink during therapy. It was easier to focus on the problem ahead when you could take a small mental break. 

‘I mean... I said that I knew you are trying to do better, because I have noticed that you do. You’ve given me Jules-Albert, you told me you accept Will and you try to make my time in the Underworld comfortable. And I appreciate that you do all that, because it means there is a wide open way to work through what happened in the past. If we do that, we might be able to go on as an… actual father and son.’ He looked up and raised his chin. ‘...but that is certainly not something that can happen right away.’

‘You sound like a shrink.’

‘Well, I noted that shrinks are not a negative thing.’

Hades stared ahead of him again. ‘Nico?’

‘Dad?’

He looked at the floor. ‘Sorry if I hurt you, Nico.’ He still sounded like he did not fully mean it. 

‘Thanks, dad,’ I said anyway. It sounded as if he understood what I was saying. 

‘I want to have a good relationship with you.’ He looked me straight in the eyes. ‘But it might be better if you leave now. You have done a few things that were unwise and I need to think about that.’ 

I felt a little dejected after that comment, but I stood up. ‘Yes, I’ll go.’

‘After you have spoken about Bianca with… with him, I want you to talk to me again.’ 

‘Gladly.’ 

‘I am glad that you also put some trust in me, after who knows how long.’ He did not look at me anymore. ‘Now leave. You need to train.’ I left without another word. 

‘It could have been much, much worse, lets keep it at that.’ Will slowly nodded. ‘I mean, he did try to wash the blame of his hands a few times, but at the same time he seemed to notice that that was not going to work. At least wants to talk to me a second time.’

Will pulled me into a closer hug. ‘It’s a hell of a situation you are in, no pun intended.’

‘I just need you to say stuff like that sometimes. Make me feel comfortable.’

‘I know and I will...’

‘Yes, you are Will.’

‘Shh. You don’t need to hear groundbreaking statements from me other than ‘eat your dinner…’ 

As if it was planned, the horn for dinner sounded from the dining pavilion. Will got up and pulled me along with him. ‘About that…’

‘Let's go to the dining pavilion. Before my stomach tries to make a statement.’ 

\Will laughed and grabbed my hand. ‘You should tell Dionysus about this talk with your dad too.’

‘Yes, obviously. I think I’ll do that before our next session. I don’t really feel like analysing it before I have had that second talk with him.’ Will squeezed my hand, and that was all I needed right then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not think of a good title so I went with this gnggfhhgngh
> 
> Next chapter might take longer than usual. I think the subject of Bianca is something that should be carefully written about and I also think it is something that might take multiple chapters, even if the main talking point is not Bianca anymore but she is more of a… trauma in the background.


	13. Minute Maid Grape Juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a heavy chapter. There is nothing particulairly triggering (except of course that they talk about the grief of losing a loved one), but I still wanted to give a warning ahead.

A Minute Maid grape juice box appeared right in front of me. I might have been able to ignore it and continue on with talking to the others at the Apollo table, if Dionysus had not made direct eye contact with me. It was a lucky thing that I had already eaten my breakfast, because my appetite was gone. 

After everyone was done eating, Will softly stroked my back while the others got up. ‘Just call me when you are done. I’ll be there to comfort you.’ 

‘Thanks.’ I am going to get you so much Italian food this weekend, just you wait.

When everyone was gone, Dionysus walked over to me. ‘Good morning, Nico. Do you feel like you are in the right mindset to talk about your sister right now?’

I took a deep breath. Not really, but can you ever really be in the right mindset? ‘As good as anytime.’

‘Alright. If it gets too much, you need to tell me.’ As always.

‘Yes.’ 

He moved his head around. ‘Alright.’ Neither of us said anything for a moment, until I slowly opened my mouth: ‘So… ehm…’ It went through my head that he had probably waited to see if I would start myself. ‘I still miss Bianca,’ I managed to muster out. Then I looked back at the table. 

‘That is a start and that is always more than nothing.’

Usually it helped me, but today that comment annoyed me. It felt like I was under pressure. 

For about five minutes, I was silent, but it was not like I was doing nothing. I was wrecking my brain trying to find the right way to begin talking about this. I tried breathing exercises, but those did nothing to calm me down. ‘Bianca… she…’ My mouth closed again. 

Dionysus slowly shook his head and stood up. He left the juice box on the table. ‘Come back to me when you feel better,’ was all he said before he walked away. 

After lunch, I gave Dionysus his juice box back. ‘I am feeling better now.’ He gave me a concerned look, before putting a hand on my shoulder. For a second, I wondered why, until he teleported us to… some other place. I had never been there before and it was black. The walls were black, the floor was black and the ceiling was black. The two chairs that were standing in the room were black and the small table that was standing between them too. I saw it all, but I was too far into my own head to find it weird. 

I sat down on one of the chairs before Dionysus told me to. He smiled a sad smile when he saw me do that. ‘This here is the mind zone. It is designed to look like what makes you the most comfortable to talk. I have no idea why that room would be black, but it has decided.’ 

Interesting. Strangely enough, I did feel compelled to talk. I took a deep breath, while Dionysus sat down on the other chair and handed me the juice box. I pushed the straw into it. ‘Alright. When…’ another deep breath, ‘When we were younger, my sister took care of me a lot. It was not like my mother wasn’t there at all, but more often than not, my sister would look after me. I… that is probably also because my mother… She had to work. Single mom, you know, and… and that in Fascist Italy… I mean, I think Hades might have given her resources to live off of too, but…’ Already, my head was feeling heavy. I was veering off topic. Usually, I would go with what came to me, but today I was determined to talk about Bianca. I would talk about my mother some other time, but I did notice that I missed her even more than I thought I did. 

‘And… that responsible feeling… I think… grew when mom…’ I shruggedand held up my hands. A few tears rolled down my cheeks. My mind told me to take a sip of grape juice, so I did. It made me calm down a little. ‘She used to stick by my side in the Lotus Hotel, and even more so while we were in military school. She would listen to my ramblings, sit with me during most breaks, comfort me… She… she wanted to take care of me. Because it felt like it was us against the world.’ _You destroyed your sister, Nico. Did you ever love her back?_ I tried to ignore the voice. More tears came. ‘Then… we were found. But… before we were taken to camp half-blood…’ I sobbed a few times. It felt like an arrow pierced through my heart. ‘...We… Artemis,’ I peeped. _Well, now you know how hurt your sister felt all the time._ I noticed that I was putting too much pressure on the carton with grape juice. Some of it was spilling over my hand. I quickly took a sip and I could feel my shoulders relax. 

‘Shall I take it from here for a moment?’ I nodded, while I wiped my hands on the chair. It was black anyway. 

‘Your sister used to take care of you, probably because your mother often couldn’t. Then suddenly, she joined the hunters of Artemis. Did that make you feel abandoned?’

I stared at my hands. ‘I… I guess. Yes, it did, even if it was more of a growing feeling than a big wave of loneliness, because she was still in camp, and, well, I think I thought…’ I stopped. I didn’t know what I thought all those years ago. But I did know what I was thinking now. ‘But… I feel like I cannot blame her.’ It was nothing more than a whisper, combined with my sight growing blurry with tears. The room was too black, too black… and then it became white. I was so confused that my stress dropped. ‘What…’

‘Yes well, as I said, the mind room is built so that it always looks like what is best for your mind. You needed the black before, but now what you need is this. Or you just needed to be suprised.’ 

Not gonna lie, that is kind of neat. I took a deep breath, and another sip of grape juice. ‘I feel like I… cannot blame her. She was not supposed to be taking care of a younger brother and to sacrifice her entire life and childhood to that. She… she made sure I was in good hands, made sure she could still see me sometimes… I think…’ I began to cry again. The room got a little darker. 

‘Yes, Bianca should not have to take care of a younger brother for her entire teenagehood. Yet, that does not mean that you are not allowed to feel like she left you on your own. Those feelings are more than justified.’

‘I… I know she felt guilty about it.’ I almost choked on the lump in my throat. I held a hand in front of my mouth while I sobbed and cried. I took a very shaky breath. ‘I… she…’

‘Take another sip.’ _Don’t, don’t, you don’t deserve it after what you said._ I took a sip and felt calmer again, or at least the lump in my throat went down. ‘She… she died because she stole a mythomagic figure for me. From…’ I sobbed a few times. ‘From Hephaestus’ trashdump. There… Ta-talos…’

‘You can stop. It is alright.’ I closed my mouth. ‘Take another moment to put your thoughts in order.’ I put the juice box on the table and closed my eyes. Alright, I had already said a lot. A lot of difficult stuff, and I… I felt guilty about some of it. I still needed to say that part, yes, it might be smart to tell him about that part.

‘One of… one of the things that still haunts me…’ I shrugged. ‘I feel guilty about it. That… I felt abandoned. I… that feeling is just about me and not about how she must have felt taking care of her younger brother. And… and then she died… because she felt guilty about joining the hunters and she tried to do something for me to make up for it.’ I looked at the ground. Dionysus was quiet for a moment. 

‘It is very natural that you feel guilty about that, but you should not. You are not a bad person for feeling left behind, but Bianca is also not a bad person for choosing for her own life after she made sure you were safe.’

I shrug-nodded. It sounded reasonable. 

‘I just have one more thing to ask, and then we have done enough for today: Where is Bianca now?’

I wrung my hands into each other. ‘She chose rebirth,’ I whispered. A few more tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘But perhaps… perhaps that is for the better. It hurts a… a fuckton, but it might be for the better. It means I have to put it behind me and cannot be tempted to linger in the past anymore than I already am.’

‘How much did it hurt?’

‘...eh… I think I said it hurt a fuckton.’

‘That. You are allowed to feel devastated about this. You just said something very mature and very true, but you don’t have to always act like that. Sometimes, you are allowed to just let things be horrible, as long as you don’t stay in that feeling of horribleness forever. I would say that it is a part of overcoming grief and you need to go through that. Nico, you never properly let all your emotions about it get out, until now.’

I did not know what to say about that. ‘I mean, but...

‘Or did you already tell you boyfriend about it, or miss Levesque?’

Not really, now that I thought about it. I guess I pushed it away. ‘No.’

He did not reply. I sighed. ‘Maybe you are right.’

‘I tend to be.’ That was something that I in my turn did not reply to. 

‘Perhaps… we should not stop. There is so much else, like stuff about my mother, and Hazel, and Jason, that all tie into my feelings about Bianca…’

‘Yes, but that is all about someone else. This session was meant to be exclusively about Bianca, so that you could let everything you felt about her out. Now, you need to process what happened. It is good for today.’ I picked up my juicebox and drank it empty. A wave of relief washed over me and I sighed. ‘Then it’s… it is done.’

‘Yes. You get to pick what you want to talk about next.’

‘I am going to think about that. And… talk to a few others.’ He saw there was a plan forming in my head, but he did not comment on it. ‘Alright, Nico. I trust that you know what to do next.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Dionysus learned how to do therapy from Hestia, who talked to him when he was a demigod. Oh wait, I am the author. It’s canon now. (Wait should I write a bonus chapter about that?)
> 
> Something I am trying to write into the story is that Dionysus is not exactly… the most moral god. He might do something that can be considered a bit off (like giving Nico grape juice that calms him down) because it will help with having good sessions. I mean... he is a god. 
> 
> You know how I said that this might take a while? Yes that was before my body decided to overtire itself and I was stuck on the couch for a couple of days. Next chapter is almost done as well (But maybe that I’ll save that for a few days, so I don’t burn through all my content at once) and what it will be is a surprise. Enjoy, I would say.


	14. Arizona Fruit Punch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back by popular AO3 demand: me  
> What's this chapter about? Surprise

‘We talked about Bianca. And I think it helped me, even though I am far from having completely worked through her passing away.’

Hades put his chin on his hand. ‘I hate that term, passing away.’ He stared at the table, while I waited. ‘I thought about our last conversation, and…’ he sighed. ‘While I think it is good you sought out help, I still feel like you could have come to me first. Or at least told me about it. Or gone to literally anyone else than Dionysus.’

‘He tried to send me to a different therapist, I did not…’

‘Still.’ He shook his head. ‘I need to think about it more. You can come back some other time. I’ll call you over.’

‘Don’t you want to know more about what…’

‘Not now.’

I nodded. ‘I’ll wait for a sign, then.’ 

He nodded back, I left, and he thought that was it. I, however, still had other bussiness to do in the underworld. 

Quickly, I walked towards Elysium. Right in front of the gates, Minos, Rhadamantus and Sarpedon were judging the spirits. I heard them discussing the purity of the poor soul in front of them. They were so wrapped up in their argument that I had no trouble sneaking past them, to a lone skeleton guard whose job it was to keep trespassers out of Elysium. 

‘Good afternoon.’ He did not answer, but gave me a stern look. I sighed and pushed a few drachmas into his boney hand. Silently, he opened the gate to let me through. ‘Thanks.’ I ran into Elysium, to the Row of the Kind, where Jason lived. 

His soul was sitting by the side of a river. He looked peaceful. My pace became slower. I knew I should not be here. My dad did not allow me to be here and it would only lead to me dishing up the past. Only, dishing up the past was exactly what I wanted to do right now. It felt like I had some loose threads with Jason. 

‘Jason…’

He turned around. ‘Nico!’ He sounded so… happy that I was there.

I tried to smile, but instead I burst into tears. ‘Nico? What’s wrong? Come, it’s alright…’ While I was still crying, I pulled two cans of Arizona Fruitpunch tea out of the pockets of my jacket. ‘Here… I got us something… I can drink here, don’t worry…’ I took a deep breath and sat down next to him. ‘I…’ I shook my head. 

Jason smiled widely. ‘I am happy that you came.’

‘Thanks, yes, I am happy I am here.’ I sniffed and wiped my tears away. I got the lid off my soda. He did the same. ‘So… how are you doing?’ I muttered. 

‘Dead.’ It was meant as a joke and I tried to laugh, but it made me burst into tears again. ‘Oh, Nico, sorry…’

‘No, no, that’s funny…’ 

He patted me on the back. ‘So… eh… how are you doing?’

I tried to wipe away my tears. ‘You are not going to believe it, but actually I am beginning to do better. I…’ I took a deep, shaky breath. ‘I have started therapy.’

‘That’s so good of you!’ He was so excited about it, so genuinely happy that I said I was trying to become happier. It made me want to cry even harder. I missed him so much. In the hope that the tears would dissappear, I took a swig. I had something to say and I did not want to ruin everything by crying the whole time. ‘I… I wanted to tell you something.’

‘I'm all ears.’ 

I nodded again. ‘It is actually about those therapy sessions. Recently, we talked about Bianca, and I could finally let out the grief about her. Now that that…’ I shrugged. ‘I do not want to say that I got it out of the way, because it is not fully out of the way. Whatever, not important, what I wanted to say is that now I get to choose what we talk about next. And, eh… I wanted to talk about what you meant to me. But before I do that, I wanted to tell it to you.’ It sounded a bit sappy now that I said it out loud, but Jason did not seem to mind. 

‘Oh?’

‘Yes. Because… I am still thankful that you were there for me after what happened with Cupid. That you made me feel accepted, even though…’ I shrugged. ‘You know…’

Jason softly shook his hands. ‘Nico, what else could I have done?’

‘You could have… you could have let it go by, or you could have ridiculed me, but you did not do that. You comforted me and told me it was okay. And I appreciate that. Not just that, but you kept checking up, even after the Giant war. You even wrote me letters, who takes the time to write entire letters these days? It is just… thanks. Thanks for everything, and sorry that I never told you that while you were still alive.’ 

Jason put an arm around my shoulders. ‘What is there to be sorry about? I knew you appreciated it, Nico, that is why I kept doing it.’ 

‘But I never told you. I never thanked you. I thought… even if it is a little late… I should come and do that before I told Dionysus how much it meant to me.’

‘Dionysus?’

‘You want to hear something funny? He is my therapist. He tried to bring me to someone else, but I did not want that, long story, just…’ I shrugged and even laughed for a bit. ‘It’s ridiculous, but it works.’ 

Jason laughed as well. ‘I won’t question it.’ He took a swig of Fruit Punch. ‘Man, I had forgotten how good this tastes. Arizona hasn’t made its way into the Underworld yet, I am afraid. Most people prefer to drink expensive wine.’ He gave me a side eye, which I ignored. 

‘That sounds sad. In the upperworld, there have been so many new flavours released. It is ridiculous! I mean, we’ve got…’ 

After an hour or so, our conversation came to a halt. We sat in silence for a moment. A few more tears rolled down my face. ‘I…’ I held up my shoulders a little and shook my head. ‘I… sorry. I am just… I wish I could come over to talk to you again, but I can’t do that. The more often I come here, the more I will be tempted to dwell in the past.’ The tears fell onto my pants. 

‘I understand, Nico, even if I really hoped... you would not have said that.’

I nodded. ‘Also... I am not allowed to be here. My dad does not want me to chat with the ghosts. I can only sneak in here so many times until he gets suspicious...’

‘I know it, Nico, I know it all, and you would never leave someone behind…’

‘But I don’t want to never talk to you again!’ I wrapped my arms around him. I felt something drip onto my shoulders. Oh, now he was crying too. 

‘I miss you too, Nico, and I miss Percy, and Piper, and Annabeth, and Reyna…’ He took a deep breath. ‘But… but you know what? I don’t often feel sad. Because… because I know you will all have a good lives, and after that, we will all be together in Elysium again.’ He pushed me backwards, so that we could look each other in the eye. He gave me a huge smile and I smiled back, while the tears were still rolling down our cheeks. ‘Now go, Nico, go live life to the fullest.’

‘I will,’ I muttered, while I got up. ‘I will, Jason. And I’ll see you again, I promise.’ 

‘Until then, Nico.’

‘Until then.’ I turned around and walked out of Elysium, knowing I should not look back. I did it anyway, one last time. And so did he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seemed like a good idea to write. I still think it is.
> 
> Mannn I’ve got so many ideas. Not too many, though, you can’t have too many.
> 
> I heard about the speculation that Nico has an eating disorder, but I won’t be writing him that way. You don’t have an eating disorder simply because you are not eating a lot. That probably has to do more with Nico having so many issues. If you have noticed, in my story he begins to eat more, because he is starting to become slightly happier. That is how I interpret the situation. That, and also it is a bit triggering, because I got diagnosed with an eating disorder this wednesday (but it’ll be okay. I am going to get help, and I will be better, I am sure of it!) (and I still eat quite a lot, so just 'not eating much' does not mean 'eating disorder').


	15. Calamansi juice with honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A session that is milder on Nico.

‘Lastly, I think Jasons’ death also tore open a few old wounds about Bianca.’ I shrugged. 

Dionysus nodded. ‘Have you thought about her much, recently?’

‘More than usual. Somehow, it is beginning to get easier to remember her. I think… I think I might do something on the day of her death, this year, as a way of really placing it in the past. We have been doing that for Jason.’ 

‘That is a good idea.’ He nodded, and I nodded back. ‘Do you think that’s it for today?’

‘Well… eh…’ I spun my bottle around. 

‘You can say it.’ 

‘It is a really small issue, so perhaps…’

‘A small issue is not synonymous with an unimportant one.’

‘Hm.’ A new drink appeared next to me. Before, I had been drinking Arizona lemon tea, but now there was a glass with… some juice.

‘New issue, new drink. This is Calamansi juice. With honey, without it it is basically undrinkable. It is not so well known in this part of the world, but it is quite refreshing.’

If he said so. I took a sip. It tasted a bit like lemonade, but different. ‘Hm, it’s pretty nice.’ I looked at the glass. But, uhm, the issue, then. So, eh, I had to do the climbing wall yesterday, with the Ares campers. First of all, I don’t understand why we don’t have a few more campers from other small cabins in activities if the amount of campers from one cabin vastly outweighs the amount of the other cabin. But that is not really my issue. My issue is that as soon as the Ares campers saw me, they began to push me around while calling me names. As soon as they began doing that, I wanted to get out of there. I should have probably just done that, but instead I… perhaps I wanted to prove myself, or something. Whatever it was, I began climbing up the wall. And I got pretty far.’ 

For a second, I stopped talking. ‘I have made it up to the top a few times,’ I quickly muttered to defend myself. ‘Not important. When I was halfway through, they began to chant ‘Can Nico do it? Can Nico do it?’ over and over again. It made me lose my concentration, no matter how much I tried to ignore them. When I turned around to tell them to shut up, the lava came down. So…’ I closed my mouth for a moment. The part that I was about to tell was incredibly stupid and I had a lot of trouble saying it because it was just so stupid. 

I tried to shake it off. I had talked about my deepest fears and traumas, and now this was what I tripped over? ‘...So I screamed and fell down the wall. I was caught by one of the Ares kids. I mean, they looked if I was okay, which I kind of wasn’t, but when they saw I was not dead they immediately continued laughing and pushing. That is when I ran away and spent the rest of the afternoon hiding in my cabin instead.’

‘You didn’t even show up to dinner until Solace went to get you. You said you forgot the time.’

‘In a way, I did. And I mean, they are Ares kids and they do stuff like that, and I should have just walked away or asked Chiron to pair me up with the Apollo campers or something, but I did not and it is bothering me.’

I took a few big sips of calamansi juice, while Dionysus was thinking. ‘What is bothering you more, the part about the Ares kids bullying you or the part where you did not take action so that they could not bully you in the first place?’

I thought about that for some time. ‘I guess the second part. They were being Ares kids, and while that is no excuse for being bullies, I should have just left instead of trying to… prove myself? Whatever, I knew they were going to act like Ares kids, so why did I stick around anyway and not go to a place where I would be happier? It is just stupid. This is all stupid. They are stupid. The fact that I am telling you this right after I told you about something as traumatic as Jasons’ death is stupid.’ 

‘I don’t think it is stupid.’

‘Don’t try to lie.’

‘I am not, Nico. Whether an issue you have is big or small does not matter. If you don’t talk about seemingly trivial stuff like this, it will begin to become something bigger and bigger. Let me illustrate: today, the Ares kids were bothering you. Had you not said anything about it, then I would have not been planning to go to Chiron to switch up when you have wall training, and you would still be there with them. At some point, you would have gotten more angry with them, which probably would lead into you accidentally hurting someone or something, which, knowing you, leads to a spiral of self doubt and hatred that takes a lot longer to work through than it does right now, while we are still at the root.’

It seemed so true when he said it like that. ‘I mean… yes?’

‘Just yes will suffice.’ 

‘Yes.’

‘Yes indeed. You did good by telling me that this was bothering you, Nico. Now we immediately pulled the sprouting weed out instead of waiting until it had almost killed your tree. You spared yourself a lot of trouble.’ 

And you too, I assume. ‘Hm.’

‘So what are you going to do next time an Ares kid, or anybody else, is being nasty?’

‘I leave. If the feeling of nastiness keeps lingering, I’ll tell you, or Will, or somebody else about it.’

‘Good.’

‘Hm.’

‘Now go. You talked about Jason and then about this. You should do training too and if I am correct, you’ve got arts and crafts with the Apollo kids at the moment.’

‘Joy!’

‘Hurry up.’

I downed the last of my Calamansi and honey drink, before smiling at Dionysus and running off, to my arts-and-crafts lesson, nicely devoid of Ares kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the most exciting, but I really wanted to make this chapter. I wanted to show that small things matter as well. Even if what you are feeling seems trivial, talk to someone about it. You don’t have to have fought a titan war in order to qualify for getting to see a therapist. Even if you just feel bad because someone said something shitty, it is worth talking about. And also, when people are being shitty, don’t stick around longer than necessary. 
> 
> Also, I thought the important things there were to say about Jason were said in the last chapter. I am not so sure about it anymore, but I still went with this, because there is a lot else to write about it and I don’t want to keep people waiting on what they want to see. 
> 
> Don’t know about next chapter, but chapter seventeen will be a bigger setpiece again, and so will chapter 18 and 19 be. 
> 
> Thanks again to rickandrowling28 for suggesting the drink!


	16. Cherry coca cola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt a little meh about this chapter while writing the first draft, but now I think it is pretty alright.  
> In which Nico and Dionysus continue talking about Cupid.

‘Where are we going?’ I asked.

‘Long island beach.’

‘And why are we going to long island beach?’

‘Thematic appropriateness.’

‘What do you mean?’

Dionysus sighed. ‘What did we talk about last time we were at the beach?’

The corners of my mouth sunk. ‘About Cupid. And then you said you wanted to talk about him more in the future. And then I brought him up last time, when we talked about Jason. So... now the time has come to continue.’

‘Exactly.’

I sighed and dropped down into the sand. ‘Alright then. But I don’t even remember where we left off last time.’

He did not say anything back while he sat down next to me and handed me a bottle of Cherry Coca Cola. ‘Here. Also for thematic appropriateness.’

‘Because I had Strawberry Coke last time?’

‘Indeed. Now, first of all, how do you feel about your coming out go after what happened at Diocletians’ palace?’

I shrugged and took my time to think while I uncapped my soda. ‘Ehm… at first, it did not go so easily. With the help of Jason, I managed to tell the rest of the seven…’ Dionysus rolled his eyes when I called them that, ‘And Reyna about it. Eventually, I told Thalia, because she was Jasons’ sister. Then, to a few other people who were important during the Giant war, so coach Hedge, his wife, Gwen and Dakota from camp Jupiter, and then eventually most of camp Half-blood and camp Jupiter. The gods learned along the way, and slowly basically everybody knew. I don’t wear a pride flag on my sleeve, because I do not feel comfortable with that, but furthermore I am pretty open about it. You know, I would say my coming out was pretty smooth after the first bump.’

‘Glad to hear that. Last time you said that most people are accepting, right?’

‘Yes. Most campers were open to it, and those who weren’t quickly grew to be. I mean, we are the descendants of the ancient Greeks and Romans, after all. I think I told you last time about Wills’ relative, how she makes tasteless comments, but also that she does not really bother me all that much. I… this might sound weird, but I think the fact that most people accepted me helped me work through my internalised homophobia, which surely was there. And still is, but... less.’ 

‘It is nice to hear that you are feeling that way. Do you think your internalised homophobia is still something we should talk about?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know if there is a lot to be said about it that I haven’t already said. It was there and it was a real issue for a while, because of all the propaganda from Fascist Italy. But now that I am in a more accepting time, with nothing but accepting people around me who indirectly tell me each day that being gay is nothing to be ashamed off. That I should not be hating myself because of it. And… and then I began to date Will, and slowly I began to… actually like it that I was gay. Not just tolerate it, but like it.’

Dionysus nodded a few times. He was smiling. ‘Wonderful, Nico. It is really nice to hear that you managed to get through it. And of course we all know you’ve got Will, you are superglued to him all the time.’ 

‘Hmpf.’ I took a sip of cherry coke. I was not glued to Will all the time. Sometimes I had therapy, after all. 

‘Now, do you think this would have gone differently if Jason had not reacted the way he did when you were at the palace?’

I took some time to think about that. ‘Maybe… no, yes, I am sure it would have gone very differently. I… I would have been way more secretive about who I truly am and I am pretty sure my internalised homophobia would have been a way larger issue than it is now. I am sure I would still be suffering from it a lot.’ I took a sip of coke. ‘But that… that is just what Jason did. I told you that last time. Jason cares… or cared, for the people around him, and he basically always saw the positive. And he carried that attitude in a way that wasn’t even tiring.’ 

Dionysus wrinkled his brow. ‘That’s remarkable.’ 

‘It is.’ I took another sip. ‘And you are right about the fact that I am not ashamed of walking around with Will while we hold hands, or something like that…’

‘As if all the PDA we see from you is holding hands.’

I wanted to tell him to shut up, but that seemed stupid. ‘You know what I mean!’

‘I know exactly what you mean and I think it is very good that you feel comfortable enough to do it.’

‘Well then!’

He shrugged, which was probably his way of saying sorry. ‘Hm. I don’t feel ashamed of that. That is partly because nobody can hate on me when I walk next to Will Solace, of course.’ 

Dionysus laughed. ‘You seem to have a good relationship with him.’

‘I do. I think.’ I don’t really have a frame of reference. ‘I feel safe with him, and loved.’

Dionysus suddenly got a sad look in his eyes. ‘Those are the most important parts. If you just love each other, and trust each other… the rest will come.’

I took another sip of coke and thought about his words. ‘Is… I mean, people say that often, but is it really true?’

He looked at me. ‘Are you really going to ask me about that? I am the god of alcohol.’

‘I mean, I don’t know a lot of other people who have been married for literal thousands of years and managed to still care deeply about their partner, after all.’ My face soured a little. Except for Cupid, that was. 

Dionysus did not notice the change in my facial expression. ‘Yes, it is pretty much true. But you have to know that relationships are different for immortals. Regular humans live maybe eighty years if they’re lucky. Some people might be together for decades, but most couples don’t reach further than a couple of years. Even if you found the one, so to say, and you reached the stadium of the relationship where it is not so much about being in love, but more about loving each other, you’d still be far, far away from what being in a relationship for thousands of years is like. It is not about someone being the ‘one’ anymore. It is about that person being the one you love the most and who will always be with you in spirit, even if you don’t see each other for years. They’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for them, even if you both love others as well. You can feel their presense in your life. Unless you are forcefully send to a summer camp and separated from them, which made the ties that you had looser not in the sense that you love each other less, but that you literally can’t feel the bond that connected you anymore.’ He stared at the sand. I took a sip of coke. For a second, he stayed lost in thought, until he seemed to wake up. ‘I just said that all out loud to some fourteen year old.’

‘Hey, I am fifteen!’

‘That matters about nothing.’ 

I took another sip, but the bottle was almost empty. ‘I have been telling you a lot about my life. This is only fair…’

‘That is not how therapy works.’

‘...And I think it might be important to know this about the gods, because… well, with all the children going on and stuff…’ I needed to stop talking right now and I knew it. I got up. ‘But I have classes in a little while.’ Dionysus did not look at me. 

‘Use that information wisely.’

I shrugged. I would try my best. ‘I am going to Will now.’ That made him look up at me. 

‘Yes, go do that. You deserve someone like him in your life.’ 

I nodded again and walked away. On one hand, I felt smug because I managed to get a shred of information about immortals out of him. On the other hand, I felt a bit sorry. I wondered how it was to be seperated from someone you loved so much. And on the third hand, which I did not know I had, I felt happy that the subject of Cupid and internalized homophobia had been seemingly closed off and I had said absolutely nothing about Percy Jackson. Now I could talk about that when I felt truly ready for it. Which might be never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter I thought was necessary, because I left the chapter with Cupid unwrapped and it has been quite some time. After Jason, I thought it was the most logical, even if it is not much. The next chapter will be a bigger set piece again.   
> I am not sure about this chapter. I just am not. I have already written out the next part, however, about Hazel, and that feels a lot better.   
> I have a bunch of ideas written down and a lot of things were mentioned by you guys. If you really, really want to see something, tell me and I’ll add it to the list and maybe (but only maybe) put it higher on the list.  
> Spoiler alert: Nico will tell Dionysus about Percy... someday. He just does not know when yet.


	17. Multifruit Smoothie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did I end up here? (Where do I go? Where did we come from, cotton eyed Joe?) (Sorry I am very tired but now I am relaxing by writing fanfic)

‘I know what I want to talk about in this Denny’s today.’

‘Well, let me hear it, then.’

‘It… it has something to do with Bianca. I... I think I should say something about Hazel, my other little sister, because I… there are a few reasons why I brought her back to the land of the living.’ Ugh, how pretentious, ‘land of the living.’

‘Alright. You can start off in any way you want, if you wait just a moment, until Mary has brought your drink.’

‘That is about principles.’

‘Exactly.’

Mary brought me a multi fruit smoothie pretty soon after. I took a sip while I was thinking. ‘So, well… just after the titan war, I went down to the underworld.’ I fumbled with the straw of my smoothie. ‘It was not my goal to go fetch Hazel. What I wanted to do was… get Bianca back.’ I looked at the table, remembering myself that there was nothing to be ashamed of in the current company. Dionysus had brought back three people from the underworld, so he’d better not judge me for doing it. ‘Because…’ I swallowed. ‘I… I knew that the doors of death were open, so… there was nothing holding me back, I think.’ I shrugged. ‘But she had already chosen rebirth,’ I added, a little remorseful. I looked at the ground for a moment. It felt like a sting in my heart whenever I thought of Bianca, even if it did not make me feel horrible anymore.

‘But then I found Hazel. And…’ I shrugged again. ‘I brought her with me. I… honestly, it feels a little bad. If I had found Bianca, I would not have given Hazels’ soul a second look. She is thankful to me for bringing her back, but I don’t feel like she should be, honestly…’

‘You still brought her back, no matter what your intentions were. If you truly had not cared, you would not have taken her with you. How do you feel about Hazel now?’

‘I love her. She is my sister. We do fun things together.’

‘Well then. There is no use in feeling guilty about it. You saved her and now you love her - how or why does not matter anymore.’

I thought about it for a bit. I could not completely agree with what he said. ‘Hm. Anyway… I brought her with me. And… I actually don’t know how my father feels about that. He never told me. I… I think… Maybe he is happy that I brought her back, because he wants her to have a second chance in life, but he cannot really acknowledge it because that would be breaking the rules.’ I looked around and took a sip of my smoothie. ‘But maybe I am just making up excuses for my dad. Because he also left her in the fields of Asphodel for years. I… I know there are rules, but…’ I shrugged.

Dionysus slowly nodded. ‘I cannot say a lot about that. Rules can often not be broken, especially in the underworld, but…’ he let the sentence linger in the air. I understood what he meant. ‘Have you already had a longer conversation with your dad?’

‘No. Last time he told me he had to think about it some more and he has not yet come back to me.’ I shrugged. I did not really mind. Probably.

Something changed in Dionysus’ look. ‘Alright then. Go on.’

‘I brought her to camp Jupiter, which I had found a little bit earlier. I... I did not tell anyone at camp Half-blood about that. Rules. Hazel… she pretty quickly adjusted. She became friends with Frank, so…’ I shrugged again. ‘I thought it would be better to let her find her own way. But now… now I feel like I maybe should have helped her more.’

‘And why do you think you feel that way?’

I took a sip of my smoothie. ‘She came to this new world and… I mean, there still are, but there are less racist and sexist structures than there once were. Except she did not know that. I... she once told me that she did not talk to the light-skinned people at camp Jupiter for a week, because she thought she was not supposed to. I…’ I shook my head. ‘I should have helped her. I know what it feels like to suddenly be in a new time with new structures.’

Dionysus thought for a moment. ‘Did you talk to her about the fact that you are feeling like this?’

I took a sip of my smoothie. ‘Well, no.’

Dionysus looked at me as if the answer to my issue was right in front of me. ‘Why don’t you try that? Invite her over for lunch or something and then tell her how you feel. I have not met miss Levesque often, but I have heard she is a sweet girl. She won’t get offended if you tell her about this.’

Of course she would not get offended. I looked at my smoothie. ‘I think… I think I will do that.’

He nodded. ‘Very good. But I can see in your eyes that there is more concerning your sisters. Can you go on with telling your story?’

For a moment, I had to think about where I had left off. ‘I kept visiting the camp and her and I still do. I… I should have coached her more when she was selected to go on the quest with Frank and Percy too, probably. And… I noticed that she had trouble with her powers. Precious jewelry kept popping up at her feet and whoever took it was guaranteed to get bad luck. I… I did not know what to do with that, and neither did I know what to do with her flashbacks…’

‘Nico, I am going to stop you right there. You cannot take care of all of someone else’s sorrows and you should stop feeling guilty about this. Yes, I think you should talk to Hazel, so that you know how she feels about everything you just said. But I also think that you should not be beating yourself up because you forgot to look after someone else when there was clearly already so much on your own plate at the moment. That, and there is no use crying over spilled wine. You are putting in the effort to have a good relationship with her now. Get all of the old stuff out of the way and then keep it out of the way.’ I nodded a few more times. I felt like I needed to talk to Hazel as soon as possible. Until then, I probably would have trouble believing Dionysus’ words. ‘Do you think that’s it?’

I took a sip. ‘About what I said at the beginning, that I took her with me because I could not have Bianca back. I think that is what is bothering me the most. Because I feel like I have made Hazel feel that she will always play second fiddle to my biological sister. And…’ I shrugged, ‘I don’t know…’

‘Can I take it from you again?’ I nodded. ‘Alright. You love miss Levesque very much as your sister, but she is not Bianca and she never will be. Perhaps you are thinking that because she isn’t, you will never love her the same way.’ He stopped for a moment and looked at me. I nodded. Pretty much. ‘And you know what, Nico? You are right and it’s okay. Hazel Levesque will never take the place of Bianca. Perhaps you will never love her the same way you loved Bianca. But you don’t have to feel guilty about it. You still care about Hazel, and the fact that you worry about not showing her enough love at least shows how much love you want to show.’

I looked at the table. Then I took a few more sips of my smoothie. ‘Kind of?’

‘Take your time to think about it some more.’

I nodded, a little more confident. ‘I’ll talk to her first. Then I’ll make up my mind and come back to you.’

‘Good. I trust that you will do that.’ I pushed my smoothie aside and stuck out my hand. Dionysus gave it a confused look for a moment, before he squeezed it. He did not ask any questions, while I drank up the remainder of my smoothie.

He looked over to Mary, who was eating a portion of fries. ‘It has been enough. I am going to give Mary a tip, and then we’ll get you home so that you can sleep. It has been more than enough.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hazel. Thanks to Blueraven123 for reminding me about her. Nico will talk with Hazel as well, as Dionysus pointed out. I’ll put it in my already wack schedule. Probably not in the next upload, but in the one after that.
> 
> I read a headcanon that Nico squeezes the hands of people he trusts, with a whole lot of canon text basically confirming it. I thought that was cute and now it is part of my fancanon.
> 
> I accidently uploaded this to Tumblr too early,,,,,, but then I deleted it.


	18. Diet Coke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hades certainly is one man of a dude.

A dark figure put his hands on the lock of the Big House. It opened with a soft click. A man cloaked in shadows walked further into the mansion, through the sitting room, to where the camp counselors were resting. 

He glided past two a few rooms of which he knew there was nobody of his interest, before stopping abruptly in front of one of the doors. He turned towards it and knocked. When no-one answered, he knocked again, louder this time. 

Now, he could hear footsteps coming from inside the room. They slowly came towards the door and stopped right in front of it. ‘Hades?’

‘Open up.’

‘Good night to you, too. What exactly are you doing here? It is past 2 A.M…’

‘You don’t need me to spell out to you what I am doing here. Now open the door.’

Slowly, the door opened a little. A small gulf of light flowed into the hallway. Hades blinked.

‘Get in, then, uncle…’ 

‘Don’t you ‘uncle’ me.’

Dionysus rolled his eyes. ‘Just get in, then. I don’t want you to wake up Chiron and Argos.’

‘Argos?’

‘Are you aware of who works in this camp?’

‘I thought I was!’

‘Just get in.’

Hades walked into the room, which looked exactly like what you would expect a room decorated by the god of madness without the help of his loving wife to look like. A lot of stuff was in places it logically could not be in, the prints did not match and some important pieces of furniture were missing (for example, a lamp. It was unclear where the light in the room was coming from). Yet, Hades did not pay a lot of attention to it. He pulled out a chair and sat down before Dionysus told him he could do so. The wine god rolled his eyes, while sitting down on the floor, with his back to the bedframe. 

Hades stared at the carpet. ‘You have been talking to Nico.’

‘I cannot deny that.’ Dionysus waved his hand. A Diet coke appeared. ‘Do you want something, too?’

‘I am not drinking anything made by you!’

The wine god shrugged. ‘Fair enough.’ He pulled the lid of the can and took a sip. ‘I have, indeed, been talking to Nico, because…’

‘I don’t want you to talk with my son. You are not a certified therapist, and even if you were, I still don’t want it!’ Hades angrily shook his head. 

‘He chooses to do so himself. If he were to tell me that he does not want to speak to me ever again, I would leave him alone.’

‘You should have never offered him to come talk to you in the first place! Gotten him a real therapist! Left him alone! I…’ Hades turned his head to the window. He breathed heavily. His left hand curled into a fist. 

‘Hades, what is your biggest worry when you think about me talking to Nico?’

‘What do you think, crackhead?’

‘I don’t know. I cannot read your mind.’

You can, that’s part of your area of expertise, Hades thought, you’re the only one denying that. He sighed, annoyed, and kept quiet.

‘Staying quiet is not going to…’

‘I don’t want you to hurt Nico. And I dread what he has told you. I know he said it was of his own accord, but who knows what you drugged him to say? What if those things reach Olympus and unleash a war?’

‘And how are they supposed to reach Olympus?’

‘Are you stupid?’ 

‘I like to think not.’ Dionysus sighed. ‘I will never tell anybody on Olympus anything Nico tells me. It would be a trust breach. As soon as I became his therapist, I had to keep what Nico confided in me confidential. I haven’t tried, but I think there will be dire consequences if I run my mouth.’

‘As if you were ever afraid of consequences.’

The wine god took a sip. ‘Hades, has it occured to you that I do not want to tell what Nico says to anybody else and that I truly have not done so? I’ve said nothing to the other gods, nothing to Chiron, nothing to his boyfriend, hell, I haven’t even told Ariadne anything.’ Hades clenched his fists. 

‘Who knows…’

‘And I certainly don’t want to tell anybody anything he tells me about you. He keeps defending you and I don’t think anyone wants to hear that. Just... Hades, he wants to patch things up. He really does.’ 

Hades slammed his fist onto the table right next to him. ‘I...I…’ He took a deep, shaking breath, trying not to boil over with anger. His anger quickly turned into sadness. ‘That… I…’ he sighed. ‘Me too. I want to have an actual relationship with Nico.’

‘Than you must suck up your pride, prejudice and what else there is and try to have one with him.’ 

‘I really do want to! And I want him to be happy. But… I just… I cannot stop thinking about… about you using what he says against him, or against me, or against Olympus.’

‘And what if I actually swear on the Styx that I won’t do that? Will that make you shut up, get you moving and let me sleep?’ 

‘You… what?’

‘I swear on the river Styx I won’t break Nico’s trust in me. I won’t tell anything that he tells me in confidence to anyone else without his consent.’ Hades could feel a dark, ancient force sweeping through the room, as Styx accepted the oath. ‘You…’

‘Happy now?’

Hades grumbled. ‘Not really. It is still you. What if you hurt him?’

‘I don’t want to hurt Nico. That is all I can say about it.’ 

Hades quieted down. For a long time, he stared out the window, into the night.

‘How do I help him?’

‘You’ll have to ask him.’

Hades shook his head, getting annoyed again. ‘But…’ he shrugged, which made Dionysus raise his eyebrows. 

‘If you want to help him, you should talk to him, Hades. Stop stalling.’

‘I am not stalling!’

‘He first talked to you about a month ago. It is time to talk to him in a serious manner and tell him what you want and how you feel.’

‘How you feel… you sound like Persephone.’ 

‘Whatever you think about it, talk to him. Don’t give him the silent treatment. Do it tomorrow, for all I care. I’ll make sure he has a break in his schedule. Chiron will give him that.’

Hades went quiet again. ‘I want him to feel better.’

‘As I said, then you either talk to him and make him feel like he means something to you, or you leave him alone forever so that he can get used to life without you. Decision is yours.’

‘I would never leave him alone!’ The god of the dead screamed, while he jumped off his chair.

‘I am glad to hear that. You know, Hades, I think you can be the father you want to be. But you need to put in the effort to do so.’

‘I will!’

‘Again, glad to hear that.’ 

Hades stared at the floor. His fists were shaking. ‘I…’ Hades walked to the door of the room and opened it. ‘This is a lot. I…’ he shrugged again. ‘Whatever you do, don’t hurt my son. If there is anything you do, you try to make him better.’

‘That is what I am trying to do. And Hades, I understand that you love him and that you want the best for him. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. But if you want him to be better, there is no denying that you have a part to play in that recovery as well.’ 

‘I know.’ Hades walked further, into the hallway. He shut the door behind him. ‘May all your godforsaken grapes wither for a day or two,’ he whispered, while he vanished into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me beginning this: ah let me write after school and working on my assignment, I’ll just do a little bit.   
> Me an hour later: Ok, I just finished the first version in one go, 
> 
> This was weird to edit. It flows differently than the other chapters, because it is written in third person. Nico isn’t there, so I could not do first person without making it confusing. 
> 
> Not in the next chapter, but in the one after that, Hades will finally put his pride, prejudice and other things aside. After that, I wanted to make a Bonus chapter, as a small break.


	19. Rose Lassi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas from me to you! This new chapter is my gift to you, even if it isn’t Christmas themed. But, I mean, there are delibiratly no mentions of the decorations in the mall the story takes place in. You can totally imagine that they are Christmassy if you want to :D.  
> Nico takes a moment to talk to Hazel. Thanks for Blueraven123 on AO3 for giving me this idea and... thanks to you as well for the idea of Lassi’s!

‘Where do you want to go?’ Hazel asked when we entered the mall. She looked at me with a smile. 

I stared at the shops and people around us. When I asked Hazel to go to the mall with me, I just wanted to talk to her, like Dionysus had suggested I do. I had not thought about what we could do while we were talking. ‘Eh…’

‘Oh! Look, it is one of those places where they sell fancy drinks!’ Hazel grabbed my hand and pointed at a little café. They had drinks like bubble tea, frappuccino and various types of freakshakes on display in the front window. I didn’t know why, but Hazel loved those types of places. 

‘Oh, eh, yes, let’s go there.’ Actually, that would be perfect. 

‘Are you sure?’ She looked up at me, a little concerned. 

‘Yes.’ I meant it. 

We walked into the café. I knew Hazel would act like she didn’t know what to pick, even though she was constantly looking at the matcha green bubble tea. 

While Hazel was putting up her act, I looked at the menu. They had Lassi’s. I had had one of those once, and liked them, but they were not very common in America. I decided to have one of those, to see if it was really as good as I remembered. After a long time, I picked the Rose flavoured one.

After we got our drinks, we sat down at a booth, both on a different side of the plastic table. Hazel took a small sip of her bubble tea. She sighed happily. A part of me whispered that I should not talk about what I came to talk about, because it might ruin her happiness. I tried to tell myself that it was important that I tell her about my sorrows.

‘Eh… Hazel?’

She looked up. ‘You are pulling the face you pull when something is wrong.’

‘Hm. Do you… I have told you that I have been going to therapy, right?’

She nodded. ‘Yes. They say that it is good for you.’

‘Yes, it really is good, it is helping me.’ I took a sip of Lassi. It really was as good as I remembered. 

‘Okay.’ She took another sip of her bubble tea and smiled. She tried to go slow, but I knew that drink would be gone in a few minutes. 

I took a deep breath. ‘I also talked about Bianca, because that…’ I shrugged. ‘I mean…’

‘Because that is still hurting you.’ Her smile became a little smaller. I fumbled with my straw. I needed to get it out. 

‘Yes. Uh, I thought about everything a lot after I had that session. It also made me remember how I met you. And, eh, I realised I feel like I have failed you. I know I could have coached you more when I brought you to camp, because I went through what you went through, but I didn’t…’ I stopped talking for a moment. My breath was shaking. 

‘Nico…’

‘And for you it might have been worse, even, because you were all alone in this time were the system works differently. I… I had my sister, at least, but you were...’ I held a hand in front of my mouth. 

Hazel put her hand on the table. ‘Are you going to stop?’

I looked at her. ‘Eh…’

‘I just want to say that… you don’t need to feel that way. Because you did help me.’

‘Are you sure? I mean, how did you feel when you first came to camp?’ 

Hazel gave me a brave smile. ‘I was afraid and lonely, I think, but also very happy, because I was alive again. At camp it was weird, at first, because everyone treated me like an equal. Not like a girl or like a person of colour, but like they would treat any other in the camp.’ She shook her head for a moment. ‘I once tried to let someone go first at the camp drycleaners. They had to explain to me that I could go first and that there were laws against racism and sexism now. At first, I thought they tried to trick me, but I learned quickly enough that they meant it.’ She took a sip of bubble tea and she smiled again. ‘Hmm! Anyway, then it became quite nice. I was placed in a cohort, made friends, and was less lonely. They helped me.’

‘Don’t you…’ I took a deep breath. She meant what she was saying. I should respect that. ‘I sometimes feel like I should have helped you become accustomed to the world more…’

She sighed and pushed her cup away. ‘You know, Nico, sometimes I do wish someone had told me more about the new time I was suddenly in. But you knew just as much about camp Jupiter as I did, and things about being black or a girl fly over your head. You did what you could.’ She pushed her cup towards me, stood up and walked around the table. She moved onto the couch next to me and gave me a hug. ‘It’s okay, Nico.’ I hugged her back. 

‘Thanks, Hazel.’

‘Would you have liked it if someone would have helped you more when you came to camp?’ We had moved on from the café already when she said it. She was standing in front of a blue ballgown in a shop window, but her eyes were on me. 

I looked at the dress. ‘I…’ I wanted to say that I had been alright. Except that was not true. ‘Yes. Yes, I could have used someone to guide me. But I ran away, you know, so it is not like I gave anybody a chance to help me.’ Hazel shrugged.

‘You still could have used and wanted someone to help you. And now you think you should have been that person for me.’ 

I nodded. Hazel grinned. ‘Well, I think it is very telling that you want to be that. And now you can still help me. Not with the mythological stuff, but with the issues most teens have. Like an older brother would. I think.’

I put an arm around her shoulders. It made me happy that she said that. ‘Yes. You know I am there for you.’

‘And I am there for you as well.’ 

It was quiet for a few seconds. ‘Shall we go find the arcade?’

‘So you can win me a big prize as a sign of brotherly affection?’

‘More so that I can beat you as a sign of sibling rivalry.’ She laughed out loud and began to run. I followed suit.

‘Like you’ll ever beat me at the pinball machine!’

‘Just you wait! I won’t just beat you, I’ll destroy you at the pinball machine!’ She let out another round of laughter. 

While we were running to the arcade, I felt surprised that Dionysus had been right after all when he said everything would be fine. Oh, and he was of course right about getting a higher score at pinball being more rewarding than winning a deathmatch, but I already knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay okay hear me out: I am an only child. I am in sibling-relationship-writing-hell. I don’t know what I am doing. I tried my best. 
> 
> As an excuse, I can say that they were not born with each other and do not live in the same house, so it will be a different relationship than siblings who have lived together and known each other for the better part of their lives. It will be more friend-related, albeit with a tighter bond.


	20. Asphodel Apple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry time between New Year and Christmas. Here is a chapter where Hades finally puts on his big boy pants and actually talks to Nico.

In the middle of the night, I woke up with a start, with the plastic spider I won at the arcade still in my hand. A dark shadow was looming over me. I blinked a few times. ‘Father?’

No answer. I think the shadow moved its head, so that they were looking at the ground. I sighed and turned my nightlight. 

It was indeed Hades. ‘Father.’ He kept awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. I pushed the blanket away and sat up. ‘Can you throw me my jacket?’

‘Your… jacket?’ He looked around. 

It was lying next to my bed. I picked it up and put it on. ‘So that I can sit up with dignity without being cold. But, eh, what are you doing in my cabin, in the middle of the night?’ He did not answer, but looked around until his eyes fell onto the only chair I had. He picked it up and put it in front of my bed. He sighed deeply and then he finally said something: ‘I… we would talk again.’  
‘Eh… yes.’ But I thought you were going to call me over to the Underworld, not appear in my cabin in the middle of the night. 

He reached into his tunic and pulled out two cans. ‘Here. I think… He always gives you something to drink.’

I looked at the can. ‘Asphodel apple,’ it said on the front. I had no idea what Asphodel Apple was. ‘Can you promise me that when I drink this, I won’t be stuck in the underworld for all eternity?’

‘Of course not! What are you thinking?’ 

I shrugged while I popped open the can. He looked at his own can, seemingly thinking about his reply, but he did not say anything else about it. I took a sip, while I waited for him to start. 

‘Do I have to begin?’ he asked after a few minutes. Before I could reply, he already did: ‘I… as I said before, I promised to talk to you again. That is why I am here.’ I nodded. 

He opened his own can of Asphodel apple. ‘I…’ he shrugged. ‘You said that you wanted to have a better relationship with me. And I… I think I want that too. I want to...’ He stopped talking and shrugged again. ‘Help you with the little things going on in your life.’ He stared at his hands. 

‘That… that is nice, dad. Then we can work on that.’

‘Yes, we’ll have to… work on it.’ He shifted uncomfortably on the chair. 

‘Shall I tell you how I think you and I can do that?’ 

‘Let me hear what you are thinking.’ 

I took a deep breath. ‘Well, first of all, I would like it if you were less dismissive of me.’

The expression in his eyes turned rock-hard. ‘I am not dismissive of you! I let you come into the palace whenever you want!’

I think he failed to see the irony. ‘Yes, you let me do that, and that is already a good step forward. But… can I give you an example?’

He gave me an icy look, but he did not say he did not want to hear it, so I went on. ‘Well… like what you said at the start of this conversation. That you want to help me with my ‘little problems.’ Eh… for you, my troubles might seem small, and I understand that, because what I go through might be nothing if it happens in an immortal life, but for me they are big deals. From some of the things I have experienced, I still hold a lot of grief and trauma. Talking with…’ I thought for a second, wondering what the most diplomatic thing to say, ‘... my therapist is really helping me with that. But those issues… they are not small. Not to me.’ 

‘Ah-ha.’ 

‘I would like it if… you treated them like major issues. Because to me, they are.’

‘That way.’ It seemed like it was already way too much to wrap his head around. 

‘And, ehm… of course, the most important thing is trust.’ I stopped talking.

‘You… there is something behind that sentence.’ He looked at me. ‘Is it a major issue for you that you don’t know what to say in conversation?’

I actually had to hold in a laugh. ‘Uhm… well, in this case, it might be for a bit. As I said, there should be trust. But the only way we can practise that, is that I know I can say how I feel to you without you…’ I fell silent again. 

Now he seemed to pick up my undertone. It took him some time to process what I had just said. ‘You… you can say it.’

I waited a few more moments. I was just not sure about it. ‘...without you getting angry.’ 

He stared at the floor. I clenched my hand around the cheap spider. ‘I… I don’t think I am angry now.’ Indeed, it looked more like he was having a revelation. ‘But… that trust should also come from you.’ I raised my eyebrows. Hades stared at the floor. ‘I… You did not tell me that you were talking to him.’

‘I know. I should have told you earlier.’

‘Yes.’ He thought for a second. ‘But… I… I talked with him as well. I… first, I was just angry with him. Nico, I don’t understand why you are going to Dionysus for mental health sessions and I still disapprove of it. It’s Dionysus, just…’ He sighed deeply. ‘But that is not my point. First I was angry because he was talking to you, but then I… I asked him how I could be of help. I…’ He took a sip of Asphodel Apple. I did the same. ‘He said I should talk to you. That I should ask you. That I should not be asking him how to help you. And… so here I am.’ He looked at his can and shrugged. ‘I don’t want you to be hurt. I want you to be healthy. And I want to do what I can to help.’ 

‘Dad, I…’

‘And if I hear it like this… I should trust you and I should not be dismissive of your sorrows, or... of you in general, if I ever was. How… how do you want to go further?’

I stared at my can. My mind was pulling a blank. ‘Ehm… perhaps…’ I took a deep breath. ‘What… Maybe I can go to the underworld more often, so that we’ll have more interaction. Then we can… start over again?’ I didn’t know if those were the right words. ‘We’ll just have to let it… take its course. 

He nodded, slowly. ‘Alright, that is… that is okay.’ He looked at the window behind my bed, as if he could see something through the curtains. ‘It is still summer right now. That might be good, actually, then we can work on it before Persephone comes back. He stared at his hands. ‘Did you talk about her?’

‘Not a lot, but I did say some things about her.’

‘Anything bad?’

‘Nothing too bad.’ Hades sighed deeply. ‘Dad, I… I trust Dionysus…’

He looked at the ground. ‘I… I know you do. I don’t like it, but I’ll accept it, I already said that.’

I nodded, took a sip from my drink, and then yawned.

‘You are tired.’ I nodded. 

‘Then… then you should go to sleep.’ He put the can down on the floor. I put mine on the bedside table. ‘Can I see you in the underworld this saturday?’

I smiled and nodded. ‘Yes, dad, that is okay.’

He absentmindedly nodded a few times, before he vanished. His can went along with him, but mine stayed on the bedside table.

I layed down, turned off the lights and tried to go back to sleep, with my jacket still on. I felt torn. It seemed like he wanted a relationship, just like I did. But the way he treated people had probably been ingrained over the centuries. I was afraid it would take more than a lifetime to get over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was first going to be called ‘smokey apple,’ because I did not think that was a thing, but then it turned out to be a type of barbecue sauce. Sounds disgusting, by the way, smokey apple barbecue sauce.
> 
> Next chapter will not follow the plot, it will be a bonus chapter! Just you wait. 
> 
> I have stockpiled a few chapters, I had so much time to do what I wanted this Christmas holiday. The next semester will be hard, though, my final exams are coming up. But I will try to keep uploading!


	21. Diluted wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is told from Dionysus’ point-of-view. ‘Bonus chapters’ will be chapters that don’t follow the story of Nico’s recovery, but still tell something interesting about the characters or the world.

It was late. Most people in the town were already sleeping while I ran through the streets, to the ever-lit hearth in the centre. I slowed my pace when I saw it. With a sigh, I sat down in front of the fireplace. The soft crackeling soothed my nerves a little. 

I took a deep, shaky breath. Just a little while before, the events of the last few days had all come crashing down on me, as if I had just now realised what was going on. Even after a small walk, it was still all spinning in my head. I felt guilt, sadness, happiness, pain, anger, pride and euphoria, all at the same time.

I took another deep breath and got out my flask with diluted wine. I let some of it seep into the fireplace. ‘Honoured Hestia,’ I muttered, ‘please accept my offering. If you have any advice to share, can you do it now?’ A few tears ran down my face, while I stared into the flames, not expecting anything to happen. Most gods had done nothing but ignore me for the past sixteen years. I did not think Hestia would be an exception. 

I turned my head away from the hearth. The houses looked quiet and peaceful. I wished that I was in one of those houses, sleeping, like a normal sixteen year old, without mountain-high expectations on my shoulders.

‘Nyssa, it is late, shouldn’t you be trying to get some sleep?’

With a little start, I turned back to the fire. A woman with brown hair and a simple tunic was tending to the flames. When she looked at me, I got the calming sensation that everything was okay, everything would be where it should be. 

‘My name is Hestia.’ 

I bowed my head. ‘Your majesty…’

‘It’s okay.’ She moved her hand through the fire and took out a freshly baked flatbread. ‘Here. You have eaten very little the past few days. You can’t live on wine alone.’ I took the bread from her, but did not take a bite. I had not been very hungry the past few days. 

‘So. What brings you here, so far away from home?’

‘The nature spirits took me here. After they tasted… wait, you have already heard of wine?’ It made me stop talking for a second. I had never thought news would travel so fast. 

‘Yes, of course I have. Go on, dear.’

‘Eh... Well, the nature spirits are crazy about it.’ I hid my mouth behind my hand for a moment. ‘Literally. They were literally crazy about it.’ I tried to push the thoughts of fights, dances and shouting away. ‘And, anyway, they thought we should share it with the rest of the world. So we went to this town that is the closest town with. Tomorrow… they are planning on bringing me to the king. And…’ I shrugged. 

Hestia nodded. ‘Firstly, take a bite. You need to eat.’ I looked at the bread and tore off a small bit. I stuck it in my mouth. ‘It’s delicious.’ 

Hestia smiled and nodded. ‘Thanks.’ She slowly pushed a strand of hair out of her face, while I ate another small chunk of bread. I slowly grabbed my flask and took a sip. 

‘Yet, about your problem. I noticed you are nervous.’

‘Yes.’ 

‘Do you, you yourself, want to go to the king?’

I looked at the bread. I tore off another crust, before pushing it away. ‘I… yes. I want to go to the king. If anything, I do feel like other people might want to know about wine. But I am still nervous. The nature spirits all seem to think so highly of it, and of me, it… it just seems impossible.’

‘You offered some of the wine to me.’ I put my hand on my flask. ‘It is diluted, right?’

‘Yes, it is more water than wine. I noticed that people don’t get sick if they drink water with some wine mixed through.’

‘So it cleans up the water. That indeed sounds like something other people want to know about. Something that can make the water better and more accessible, you can certainly help a few people with that.’

‘A few?’

‘At least.’

‘Just a few. That’s fine.’ I smiled, and took another sip. ‘I’ll… I’ll just have to go there tomorrow, no matter how nervous I am.’ The towns’ people never needed to drink it undiluted. They would never have to go crazy. The thoughts did not calm me at all, but Hestia’s presence did make me almost believe them. The goddess pushed the bread towards me again, but I did not immediately touch it. 

We sat in silence for some time. I had another question and I guess Hestia sensed it. What I wanted to say might be considered rude. On the other hand, I now had a chance to ask it. Who knew when such a chance would present itself again? 

‘What is it like to be a god?’

Hestia smiled at me, like she knew I would ask it. ‘What is it like to be human?’ 

I even let out a little laugh when she answered with that. ‘Difficult to explain. I get it.’ 

‘But I don’t think that is all you meant with that question.’

My smile faded away. ‘...no.’ 

She quietly stared at the fire. If I wanted to say what I wanted to say, I had to do it now. ‘It is just so weird, eh…’

‘Aunt Hestia.’

‘Aunt... Hestia. I mean, many of the gods took a lot of risks to keep me alive when I was a baby. But then I grew from toddler to child, and they were just… gone. They all left and never came back. People told me I was Zeus’s son, made it clear that they had high expectations of me, and then never asked if I wanted any help. Right now, it feels like I am about to fulfill some of those expectations, and there is… almost nobody. Hermes sent me some weird herbs, but I heard nothing from anybody else. The only one who properly talked to me, are you. And… why? Just why? I… I don’t get it. I just don’t get it, Hestia.’

Hestia stayed quiet for a second. ‘Gods are selfish creatures,’ she said slowly. I looked up. ‘When the gods get attached to their kids, and something happens to that child, it will ache for years to come, if not forever. Being hurt for the rest of your life when that life does not come to an end is…’ She shook her head, with a sad look on her face. I wondered if she had to miss someone, and who that person had been. ‘So most gods choose to let their kids live without them. They try to give them a happy life, but they know they can’t be in it.’ She swallowed. 

I looked at the bread and tore off a bigger chunk. ‘I… sorry, Hestia.’ I wanted to say I understood, and perhaps I did, but it hurt more than I wanted to admit. It still felt so unfair. Why did the gods have demigod children in the first place, if they knew they could not take care of them? 

‘It’s okay, Nyssa. I understand why you asked.’ 

‘I… I need to thank you for being here for me. That you want to do that, even though...’ I stared at the bread in my hand.

Hestia smiled a sad little smile. ‘The fates weave a strange life for some people, Dionyssa. From what they have shown me, I think you need someone to help you right now. With that I also mean that I need to tell you to eat.’ 

I put the chunk of bread in my mouth, a little confused that she called me Dionyssa instead of just Nyssa. ‘Yes.’ 

Hestia looked at me. ‘I’ll see you again some day.’

‘Thanks. Thanks… for everything. The bread, your advice, and the truth.’ She gave me one last smile, before she disappeared. 

I stared into the flames. Dionyssa. Dio meant god, Nyssa was the mountain I lived on and which the people quickly began to name me after. So god of mount Nyssa - the implication of that sentence almost made me nauseous. I remembered what the nature spirits had said after tasting wine for the first time. That only a god could make something like this. I flinched. Slowly, I took another swig of water, which was sweet from the wine. The fates weave a strange life for some people. It felt like I would soon find out what they had woven for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while writing this, I thought I could maybe do another bonus chapter in the future, which shows Dionysus perspective on the therapy sessions, or a bonus chapter where he talks to someone else about his experience as a therapist. Good idea? 
> 
> I think I announced this bonus chapter a while back. Well, here it finally is. 
> 
> Happy and healthy new year to all of you! Next year, I’ll be back with more Nico! (Obviously I have not forgotten our favorite death child :). A bonus chapter felt like a nice way to close off 2020 ;).


	22. Fresh Mint tea with Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like a new era to me.   
> In this chapter, Nico wonders if he truly has a place to call home.

‘I talked to Hazel and now it is okay. I still sort of feel like I should have helped her, but I understand that she does not hold any negative feelings towards me, and that she probably never did.’ 

‘That’s a step in the right direction, Nico. Good job.’ 

I nodded. ‘Yes. But then…’

‘Then you began to overthink it.’

I shrugged. ‘I didn’t mean to.’ 

He sighed. ‘I guess it is my job to coach you through that.’ He looked over at the counter.

‘I have fresh mint tea with honey for us,’ Mary yelled before he could even say anything. ‘Two or three?’

‘Let’s be crazy, make it three.’ She grinned. 

‘Nice to hear that the god of wine appreciates the way I make drinks.’ She winked and went in the back to make our tea. 

She came back with three big glasses and a mountain of biscuits, the last of which she dumped into the middle of our table. ‘Here. They probably want to throw these away anyway.’ I took one of the pile. 

‘Thanks!’ She winked again, before walking back to the counter with her own glass and about twenty biscuits. 

‘So, let me hear what the issue is.’ Dionysus spun the mint leaves around in his glass. I looked at my own tea. ‘After we talked, Hazel asked me if I had wanted counseling when I came to camp, and if that is why I thought I had failed her. I told her yes, but we did not talk about it a lot. Yet, when I got home to my cabin, I began thinking about it, and I remembered that I felt pretty lonely for quite some time. Only now that I have Will and made good friends am I beginning to feel better. It also made me think about how I did not really have a place to call home, and that is mostly what I want to talk about, because I…’ I shrugged. ‘I still feel like that, sometimes.’ 

‘Alright, clear issue. You don’t really have a place to call home and sometimes you feel lonely.’ He stared at the biscuit mountain. ‘Maybe you don’t have a clear home, but you do have a roof over your head. Can you tell me about the places you live at?’ 

I dipped a biscuit into my tea. ‘I think that right now I stay at camp half-blood the most. That is where my boyfriend lives, where I have my own cabin and where my therapist lives.’ I looked him in the eyes. ‘Then there is camp Jupiter, where my sister lives and where I am a representative of Pluto and of the greeks. I can count the Underworld as a living place, I guess, I have a room there and it is going a bit better with Hades?’ It sounded like a question. I was not sure yet. It went better last time, but the time before that? Not really. ‘There are some other places where I am welcome, but I don’t really live there. Like, this Denny’s feels safe and we come here often, but I wouldn’t say I live here.’

‘Yes, that’s true. You said you think you are in camp half-blood most often?’

‘Yes, because, as I said, Will is there, and most of my friends are there, and…’ I shrugged. ‘I think there they accept me more than in the other places. In camp Jupiter, they respect me, but I am still a _Graceas_.’ 

Dionysus rolled his eyes. I decided to ignore it. 

‘And in the Underworld… you know about the Underworld.’ He nodded. ‘It took quite some time for the people at camp Half-blood to come to terms with the son of Hades thing, more than in Camp Jupiter. But now there is this revolution of accepting everyone, which might be because of the cabins for the… eh… non-Olympian gods.’ Dionysus nodded again, as a sign that he approved of that term. ‘And the newer demigods don’t know about the old ways. So… they accept me. All of me.’ 

Dionysus nodded yet again. We both took a sip of our tea, which was now at drinking-temperature. ‘But it still doesn't feel like what you would call at home there?’

I shrugged. ‘No, not really. Perhaps that is old trauma, and it’ll come someday, I don’t know.’

Dionysus twirled the mint plants around some more. ‘Does it feel different from the way it did a few years or even a few months ago?’

I looked at my tea and took another cookie from the pile, while I took a moment to think about that. When I dipped the cookie into the tea, it crumbled to bits before I could take it out. ‘Shucks.’ Dionysus tapped the glass. The crumbles disappeared. I smiled at him. ‘Hm. I think so. I was truly miserable and not at home before the Titan war. That is part of the reason why I stayed over in the Underworld, which did not make me much happier. After the Titan war, they accepted me more at camp, even as a son of Hades, but it takes time for old prejudice to wear out. Not everyone dared to talk to me, I did not have many friends and I still did not feel completely at home, so I decided to go somewhere else. After some exploring, I found camp Jupiter, and… that was nice, I guess. They thought I was a Roman at first.’ I shrugged. ‘During the Giant war, I made a lot of new friends in both camps, and afterwards, I got closer to Will, the guy who introduced himself to me by saying he had helped to deliver a satyr baby.’ Mary looked up for a second. 

‘He what?’ Dionysus asked.

‘Doesn’t matter, forget it.’ He would never forget it, I saw it in his eyes and in the way he took a new sip of mint tea. ‘And so I began to… settle, is settle the right word? Settle in camp Half-blood.’ I took a moment to think again. ‘I felt a little more at home after that. But…’ I dipped yet another cookie, while my brain finally decided to come up with a genuinely intelligent and non-self deprecating thought. ‘...but I still had a lot of trauma. After we began therapy, and that began to take effect, I began to feel better and I began to eat more, and… I began to feel better with where I was. With who I was.’ I shrugged. ‘I don’t feel perfect yet, and camp half-blood still feels temporary, but… it’s better.’ 

Dionysus had a small smile on his face. ‘You know, Nico? I have noticed that too. You look happier and healthier than when we began, like you feel more comfortable in your own skin. You participate in activities more, you became more sociable…’ he took a sip of tea. ‘And don’t worry about the fact that you still don’t fully feel at home. You are not completely better yet. We talked about a lot, but that does not mean that your doubts aren’t still there and that you are completely mentally healthy.’

‘I am not completely healthy yet, I am sure of that.’

‘It pains me to say it, but you are right. But one day you’ll feel much better, and we will only need to talk a few times per year.’ Of course, I knew he was immortal, but it still felt like a shock when it dawned on me that he could still be my therapist fifty years from now. His life would not have changed at all. ‘You will probably not be in camp half-blood anymore. You will have found your own house with someone - I sincerely hope it will be Will Solace - and one day you notice that you can call it home.’ He stopped for a moment. ‘But you don’t have to think about all that now. It is meant as a reassurance, not like something that needs to happen tomorrow.’ 

I pulled my warm glass towards me. ‘I know, Dionysus. And… thanks. Thanks for those words. Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for everything.’

I heard a long sob from the counter. I turned around. Mary was looking at us, with her hand close to her heart. ‘That’s so… sorry for listening, I didn’t mean to, but…’ she wiped a tear away. I heard Dionysus chuckle. He picked up his glass and walked over to the counter. He put the glass down. ‘This is good tea, by the way.’ He tapped the cup and it changed into a pile of banknotes. ‘Here. If we are here to thank, we must thank you again as well.’ She looked at the pile.

‘That’s…’

‘I am a god. Those banknotes mean nothing to me, but I do know you can be helped a great deal with them.’ She nodded and put a hand on her stomach. 

‘Al… alright. And it will.’ I walked over to Dionysus (but not before I stuffed a bunch of biscuits into my pockets). ‘Thanks, Mary. I’ve got nothing, but thanks.’ She winked. 

‘I’ll see you next time, then.’ 

I looked at her. Then at the hand on her stomach. ‘No, wait a minute. You have a boyfriend, right?’ 

She nodded. ‘Yes, his name is George, why?’

I looked at her stomach. She flushed red. ‘Oh, yes, we are expecting a baby. We both finished college recently and he got a good job, so...’ 

I stared at her. ‘Congratulations,’ I heard Dionysus say. He sounded just as surprised as I did. 

‘Yes. Congratulations.’ 

Mary laughed. I shook my head, which made me wake up a little. ‘Seeing as how it sounds like neither of you have seen a baby before, you are invited to come see him when he is born.’

I looked at Dionysus. ‘We’ll come,’ he said for the both of us. Mary smiled, with her hand still on her stomach, while Dionysus teleported us back to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t have a lot to say about this. I had the idea of Nico being still uncomfortable with where he lives. Before I was writing, I felt a little uncomfortable because of my eating disorder (It was after our Christmas dinner and all), so I wanted to write something with a comforting ending. I think I succeeded. 
> 
> I want to write the story of Nico going to see Mary’s child (A/N to my A/N: I just now realised that I called her Mary. In my defense: The virgin Mary is called ‘Maria’ in my native language, that must be why I missed it. It was not supposed to be symbolic), because I think it might show Nico in a domestic setting, where he feels nervous about regular stuff.


	23. Black Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That I got this far already might be crazy,,,,,,

‘Hey!’ I screamed as soon as I set foot into my fathers’ palace. 

‘Don’t go into the throne room!’ was my the warm welcome I got from my father. Today, I decided to listen to his wisdom. I went to the living room instead. Lo and behold, my father was there. 

‘Hey, dad.’

‘Because the last hey was just a general hey, not specifically meant for anyone in this palace where I am alone right now.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Dad, there are also spirits and skeletons in here. Thanatos might be hanging around as well.’

‘Hm.’ He was sitting on the couch, with some paper. I wondered what he was doing with it. He could be something harmless like making a sudoku, but he could also be writing Persephone a love letter (or at least trying to do so) or counting out how many souls there needed to go to The Fields of Asphodel to hit ten billion residents this year. Alright, some of those things might have been hyperbolic, but he really was doing strange, unforseen stuff sometimes. 

‘What is it that you want?’ he threw the papers to the other side of the couch 

‘I just wanted to see how my father was doing. Like regular teens do.’

He arched his brow. ‘Regular teens don’t randomly go to see what they’re parents are doing.’ Yes, well dad, good job figuring out that we are not a regular family. 

‘Well, I do.’ 

‘Hm.’

‘So, what were you doing?’

‘Nothing.’ He reached towards the papers and stuffed them under the pillows. ‘What were you doing before you came here?’

Hm. ‘I was training before, until I got some free time. Will was working in the infirmary, so I decided to go see you instead.’

‘Oh.’ He looked at his hands. ‘Ah-ha. Uhm, well, this time I actually have an idea about what you can do.’

I raised my eyebrows. ‘Really?’

‘Yes. We, uh… need special new chairs.’ I did not want to find out what he meant by special. ‘And someone needs to get them from Hephaestus’ workshop. Persephone still has to be on the surface for two months and I need them statt…’

‘We could go get them together,’ I quickly piped in. I was not going to be send out alone.

Hades stared at me. ‘...Yes,’ he answered. I could not make out if it was a ‘yes, I meant that the entire time’ or a ‘well, that is possible too.’ 

‘Well, then.’ It was silent for a few seconds. ‘When are we leaving?’

‘Right now.’ 

Less then a second later, before I had even noticed that my dad had teleported us, we were standing in front of Hephaestus’ workshop. Something about the place made me nervous. The doors were humongous, much bigger than any other gate I had ever seen. The doors of death would look like they belonged to a dollhouse compared to this. I heard my dad take a deep breath.

‘You’re not nervous, right?’ I asked. It came out before I knew, but my dad was so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even heard it. 

The gate opened with a creaking sound. The place was even more gigantic from the inside. It was hot and it was cold, it was blinding and it was dark, it was gorgeous and it was horrible. Slowly, and both more than a little nervous, we walked inside. 

When we were about ten metres in, my fathers’ voice suddenly boomed through the workshop: ‘Hephaestus! Where are you?’ The sound bounced off from the walls, which amplified it even more. I pressed my hands against my ears. My dad shot a look at me. ‘Oh, sorry.’ 

‘It’s okay.’ 

We heard a clicking sound coming from the right. A few seconds later, Hephaestus appeared. I held my breath when I saw him. I’d be used to it in no-time, I tried to tell myself. But he was hideous.

‘Hades.’ He turned his attention to us. I looked at the ground. ‘Who’s the youngling?’

‘My son.’ It felt good when dad said that. He did not say it with a lot of affection, more as a matter of fact, but it felt good. 

Hephaestus nodded, with a boording expression. ‘Your chairs are in the back. You can take a look at them.’

‘Nico…’

‘He’s staying here.’

‘What? No.’

‘Hades, this is my workshop. I don’t want your son barging around.’

My father said an ancient curse that I did not understand. He went in the back without giving us another look. 

Hephaestus turned to me. ‘I’ll follow him soon.’ His voice was suddenly a lot softer. I looked up at him and forced myself to keep looking. ‘But I need to ask you if you are doing alright. You are the Nico di Angelo, right?’ 

‘Yes, I am.’ He reached for a thermoscan and a stack of metal cups that were seemingly just lying around and poured out two black coffees. I put my hand against my metal cup (which was just the right temperature, as if it was a metal cup made by a magical blacksmith), but did not dare to take a sip. 

‘I heard from my children that Dionysus is helping you with a few problems you have.’ 

‘Yes, he is… your children?’

Hephaestus snickered softly. ‘After… after the Titan war, and after my son Leo finished his first quest I… I decided it wasn’t enough to help my children from a distance. I…’ he shrugged and gestured at one of the walls, which was covered from top to bottom with crummy and slightly less crummy projects. ‘I have been collecting stuff my kids made forever, but I realised I needed to be there for them in the flesh as well, no matter how difficult it might be. Last time I was at the camp to visit them, I wanted to have a chat with Dionysus, because he is my best friend and I hadn’t seen him for some time. That is when my children said he was busy helping you.’ He scratched the back of his neck.

‘Oh.’ Wow. Someone had really been trying to make amends. 

‘Eh, but what I actually wanted to say… you can trust Dionysus. He will help you. He won’t tell your secrets to anybody else. He helped me too, when I was wrapped up in feelings of guilt and revenge.’ He patted my shoulder. It felt like I was being crushed under a boulder. 

‘Ergh. Yes, I know. Thanks, lord. He is helping me feel better actually.’ 

‘That is... that is good.’ The blacksmith studied his cup, before downing it all at once. ‘You know...’ 

‘Hephaestus!’ My dad called from the other side of the workshop. ‘They are good, I guess, but how do I deactivate them?’ Hephaesus stopped talking and stared at an unknown point for some time. Then, he shook his head. ‘Let’s go see how your dad is doing.’

While we were walking to the back, I absentmindedly took a sip of coffee. I just managed to keep it inside. It tasted like motor oil. I much prefered Dionysus’ drinks. 

‘So. That has been fixed,’ Hades said, when we were back in his palace. I nodded. 

‘Uh-huh.’ 

He turned around, but did not make eye contact. ‘Uh… I did not plan to take you to Hephaestus’ workshop. I just had to be there, and…’ he shrugged.

I shrugged back. ‘And you did not want to go alone.’

‘I would have gone alone otherwise. Of course.’ He turned back to the chairs. ‘Eh…’ another shrug. So I shrugged again as well. ‘I… you have been coming over more often recently. Is that… because you like it here? With me?’

I stared ahead of me. Suddenly, I noticed that I had never let go of the metal coffee cup. I took another sip and it tasted just as horrible. ‘Well, I have noticed that you want to put in the time and effort to spend time with me as well. And I like some of the time spend together.’ 

Hades stared at the weird furniture. What did he even need these torturous looking chairs for? They obviously weren’t for visitors or for himself, but he did place them in the living room. ‘So… not all the time.’

‘Some moments have been rough. But… that is only to be expected. The more time we spend together, the better it has become. Today was nice. Weirdly enough, I… I liked going to Hephaestus' workshop.’ Which wasn’t completely because of you, but then again, without you I wouldn’t have been there at all.

‘Eh… me too. I mean I liked spending time with you too.’ He shrugged again. ‘I hope… I hope we will have a relationship that can be called healthy when Persephone comes back. Then we can… adjust to that together.’ I did not fully comprehend the implication. ‘Will you work towards that, with me?’ As if I had not been the person clearly working the hardest. However, the spirit was there. 

‘Yes. Of course.’ I got a smirk on my face. Next time we have a father-son appointment we’ll go to home depot.’ 

‘To what?’

‘Let’s call it Hephaestus’ workshop, but way less cool and for mortal dads.’

‘Yes, well, we’ll think about it.’ So that’s a no. Drab. Oh well, it had been more of a joke anyway. ‘Cool.’ Almost instinctively, I took another sip of coffee. This time, I spat it out. ‘Oh god, this is gross.’

‘Did you get that at Hephaestus’ place?’

‘Yes, but I did not plan to bring it here, or drink even a drop of it for that matter.’

‘I hope so.’ He shifted. ‘Dionysus helped Hephaestus, too, I heard. Eh… perhaps he should also have taught his friend how to properly make drinks.’ 

I snickered. ‘He should’ve. But then he might have put Dionysus out of business. Hephaestus is clearly much more efficient.’ 

‘Hm.’ Hades looked like he would not be incredibly sad about that. 

‘Eh… but I have to go back to training now.’ 

‘Okay. You’ll come again, right?’ I looked at him. He wanted me to come back, he really did. 

‘Yes, of course, dad.’ I put too much effort into mending this relationship to stop now.

He smiled and patted me on the arm. ‘Bye.’

‘Bye,’ I said, while slowly turning around. 

I was smiling when I came into camp. I felt like it was going better. But slowly, I began having doubts. I’d have to talk about those with Dionysus next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I began this chapter, I did not plan on writing about Hephaestus, it just came to me while writing. Now it seems like the best part of the chapter. 
> 
> I toyed with the idea of having them go to IKEA, but that seemed out of style. Perhaps in a future chapter, if I get crazy enough (And honestly, this chapter already seemed out of my usual writing style).
> 
> I am not sure whether I should have shown some of the harder father-son sessions. Perhaps I’ll do that later. I wanted to do this, I thought it was more fun for both myself and for the people reading this (Who I appreciate very very much). 
> 
> I am thinking of a chapter where Nico talks to Apollo and where he talks to Hephaestus. But first Apollo needs to become an actual god again I guess. That part will be out in a week or so.


	24. Mogu Mogu jelly tea

‘How do you feel about the time you spend with Hades?’ While he said it, Dionysus pushed a small bottle my way. Mogu Mogu jelly tea, it read on the front. I had never heard of it, but was curious to find out how it tasted.

‘You’ve been talking to Hades!?’ Mary paused putting on mascara to give me a surprised look.

I looked at Dionysus, and then to Mary. ‘To first give an answer to Mary: Yes, I have been talking to Hades. I want to have an actual father-son relationship with him.’ 

‘Oh.’ You could see in her face that she had another question. I stayed quiet, while she put her mascara away. 

She closed her hand mirror and walked over to our table. ‘Hm. Well, as he already asked actually,’ she said while waving in Dionysus’ direction, ‘how do you feel about that?’ She made eye contact with Dionysus for a few seconds.

I thought for a a bit, before turning to Mary. ‘There is gradual improvement. He has been trying and learning.’ I shrugged and looked at Dionysus for a second. ‘But I sort of feel like I have to give counseling to him instead of the other way around. Like, I keep saying that it’llbe okay and that he does not need to feel anxious and that we can work it out. I don’t think that is his fault, because it is all a first time for him, but…’ I shrugged.

Dionysus opened his mouth to say something, but Mary was quicker: ‘You sometimes feel like your parent is the kid and you need to tell them stuff about the world instead of the other way around, even though you should not be responsible for the way he acts and should not constantly have to reassure him.’ I looked at her. 

‘I mean, yes.’ 

Mary sighed and put a hand on her small baby bump.

‘Well, eh… what is your experience with Aphrodite?’ I asked. I was genuinely curious. ‘Maybe it helps to compare?’ I shot Dionysus a glance. He did not seem to fully agree with that, but he allowed us to go on. 

Mary stared at the wall. ‘Well… I met her thrice. The first time was pretty regular. You know, your godly parent comes to you to tell you that you need to make them proud, you know it.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘But the second time, it was because I just had my heart broken by some boy I had been dating for a few years.’ She looked at the table. ‘I was pretty broken up about it, but all she said was that I should just forget it. That this was meant to happen and next time I should just break his heart before he could break mine. She said it as if… as if it was that easy. Just say that you are over it and suddenly you are over it. And then make someone hurt the same way you are next time.’ She stroked her bump. ‘I… I explained to her that that was not how it worked, in a way that might not have been the most graceful way to bring it, if you know what I mean. I think… my mother seemed too stunned to understand what I said. She said ‘alright’ and left.’ Mary stopped moving her hand around. ‘I think she has heard it time and time again, but it just does not get through to her. Oh, and the third time was when she heard I was pregnant. She gave me some baby stuff.’ She shrugged. ‘That was handy, I guess.’

She shot a glance at Dionysus, who was looking at the street outside. 

I opened my bottle of Mogu Mogu and took a sip. ‘For Aphrodite, that might be true. But while I agree with the part where they sometimes seem stunned about something normal, I don’t think Hades has heard the things I am telling him hundreds of times before.’ I shrugged and pushed my bottle around. ‘He does not have many children and he certainly does not have many children that actually came to the Underworld before their death. This experience is new for him. He… while it still bothers me, I think I understand why he acts this way. And he seems open to change at least.’

I looked at Dionysus, who took a deep breath. For a moment, it was as if everything the gods had ever done flashed before his eyes. ‘Nico, your feelings are totally justified. It is not nice to feel like you are the one to coach your father instead of the other way around. And you don’t have to defend him.’ He sighed ‘And about the gods’ behaviour… all I can say is that the gods have always behaved like that.’ He stared at an undefined point. For a second, I looked at Mary. Silently, we agreed to let him come up with more to say by himself, without pushing him.

We made some small talk about the baby, or I tried to (I really did not know anything about babies, but I did learn how crazy expensive it was), but Dionysus did not join in. He was staring off into space. 

‘The gods do need some things spelled out to them because they don’t get it,’ he muttered after some time. ‘But there are also things we do because it’s just… it’s better. Not… not always for the child, but in the long run. Some gods never interact with their children, because they think it is better if the kid can just come to terms with the fact that their parent will never be there. Others will truly try to raise them, mostly the… smaller gods, so to speak. And we’ve got everything in between. Usually… what the god thinks is best is what will happen.’ He stared at the floor. ‘I did not understand that either when I was a demigod, Hestia had to… sort of explain it to me. And even she had difficulty with it.’ 

I took a sip of sweet tea. ‘It is difficult for all of you too? To let go of your children?’

Mary shrugged. ‘Perhaps, but you also seem to say that most gods will interpret better in the long run as better for their own souls.’

His expression darkened after Mary’s words. ‘Hm.’ He swiftly shook his head around, after which he seemed more present in the moment. ‘Anyway, the important thing is that Hades is now willing to be there for Nico. In a way I would agree that he is acting like a child, but he is willing to change century old behaviour for you. But that also does not excuse him from acting like a child. If you understand what I mean. And you do not have to cater to him. If he goes that way, you say you are tired and you come back to camp.’

‘I… yes.’ It was enough for now. Dionysus nodded sternly.

Mary stared at the table. I did not know whether she did not want to comply with what he was saying or if she begrudgingly accepted it. 

I took a few sips of Mogu Mogu. The bottle was almost empty, as a sign that it almost done for now. Yet, Dionysus had one more thing to say: ‘Nico, do you want to go on with it? Aside from my opinion, or your fathers’ behaviour?’

‘Yes. For now at least, I am sure that I want to go on with it.’ 

‘Good. But make sure that you don’t go over your own boundaries.’ 

I nodded. Then I took the last sips of Mogu Mogu, signaling that therapy was over. 

Before we left, Dionysus asked Mary some things about the baby. Although she had already told me some of it before, she seemed more than happy to say it all again. After that, we waved her goodbye and went home. 

When we came back to camp half-blood, I grabbed Dionysus’ hand. ‘Wait. I… I think you try to take more care of the demigods as well, even though…’ I shrugged.

‘That’s different, Nico. I should be way better than I am now. I was a demigod once, after all. Hades just tries, even though he has known nothing except for godhood.’

I shook my head. ‘I don’t think it is different.’ 

He paused, before saying: ‘Go to your cabin, Nico.’ 

I nodded, before turning around and running off. But I must confess I did not go to the Hades cabin before collecting Will from the Apollo cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I was done writing I figured out that Mogu Mogu is a Dutch concept and it has only been introduced in the Netherlands. But Dionysus is magic y’all he can just magic that stuff and give it to Nico. 
> 
> I wanted to show more of Mary, because I have something with her planned in a few chapters, but for that she needed to be more of a character first. 
> 
> This chapter seems kinda edgy I don’t know. To be upfront: I am thinking of taking a small posting break to sort out my story, because the last chapters feel weird to me. But knowing myself I probably won’t do it.
> 
> Also I am thinking about doing a look-into-dionysus-character-as-of-now bonus chapter in the future.
> 
> I must sincerely apologize for how long the chapter about Maria di Angelo is taking. I a, going go look further into it, but for now the planning is: first Apollo will become a god again, then Nico will do more with Hades and meet Persephone, and that will trigger him to talk about his mother. There will be a few interlude chapters, to make the story lighter. I hope that’s okay.


	25. Sunny Delight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter in third person. Now read, I won’t spoil it.

Shortly after his shift in the medical bay ended, Will ran across the field, to the Big House, hoping and praying that Dionysus would still be awake. Today, Tyche seemed to be on his side. Dionysus was standing on the porch, with a small bottle next to him. 

‘Will Solace. I thought I’d get to see you one of these days.’

Will stepped onto the porch. ‘Good evening, my lord. And weird. I thought all the clearvoiency was gone as soon as my father became a mortal.’

‘More as soon as the great snake took over his most important oracle.’

Will rolled his eyes. ‘That was about the same time.’

‘Was it now, Solace.’ 

Will sighed.‘I am not here for this. I wanted to…’

‘You wanted to talk about your boyfriend.’

‘Well, yes.’ 

Dionysus pushed the bottle towards him. ‘Okay then. Here. What is it that you have on your mind?’

Will picked up the bottle to see what it was. Sunny Delight. How hilarious. He slowly screwed off the cap. ‘Well, Nico has been in therapy for a few months now and I want to know how you think he is progressing.’

Dionysus smiled. ‘Well, first he learned a few skills to calm himself and we built trust. Then, he began talking about some of the big issues he has faced in life. I think he is still processing that stage. When he is done, we can work on becoming more stable, so that he can put it all behind him.’ 

Will nodded. ‘Yes. But is it all… helping?’

‘What do you see when you look at your boyfriend?’

Will took a sip of Sunny Delight. ‘After the first few months, he was happier. He began to eat more, socialize more and he looked healthier. Less pale, the bags under his eyes got smaller, less ribs poking out.’ Will stopped talking, while he looked at his bottle of Sunny D.

Dionysus raised an eyebrow. ‘I have the same experience. He is healthier and he has more trust in people.’ It was quiet for a moment. ‘But I sense a ‘but’ in your sentence.’

Will slowly nodded. ‘Yes, there is a but. Because in the past few weeks, he has started to look worse. He eats less, his skin is paler, and he isolates himself more. And I worry about that. I was wondering if you noticed it too, that is why I came.’ He bit his lip. 

Dionysus looked out over the camp. The sun was going down. ‘Yes, I have noticed it.’ He turned back to Will. ‘I sense that you might know more about it than I do.’ 

Will was silent for a moment. ‘I don’t know if what I am going to say is a trust breach.’

‘Has Nico told you to keep it in confidence?’

‘Well, no. And I don’t think he would mind if I told his therapist. And anyway, I… I think it is important.’ 

‘You are the only one who can make the decision whether you want to tell me or not.’

Will stared at the bottle and sighed. ‘He told me the voices in his head have been louder the past few days. He is afraid something is going to happen.’ It looked like a weight dropped of Wills’ shoulders now that he finally said it. 

‘Ah-ha. No, he has not told me that, even though I find that important to know. I thought the voices were almost gone.’

‘That is because they were. But now, they are back.’ Will took a sip. ‘He... I think he has not told you yet because he hoped it would just be a bump in the road. I believe he would have told you if it had gone on for longer.’

‘I think so too.’ 

Will looked at the god, trying to see if he was speaking the truth or not. It seemed so. ‘Lord, what can I do about it? What can we do about it?’

Dionysus put his hands on the fence of the veranda. The look in his eyes was serious. ‘I’ll talk to him as soon as possible. I think this is an emergency. And Solace, it is very good that you came to warn me.’

‘Eh, thanks.’ 

‘As for you: try to support him. Don’t force him into anything, but softly encourage him to open up, to eat more and to engage in more social activities. Let him know that you are there for him. I know you already do that, but the best thing you can do is keep doing it.’

‘Yes. Yes, alright.’ Will looked at his Sunny Delight. ‘Do you think he’ll be alright? Someday?’ Will asked with a small voice. 

Dionysus gave him an encouraging smile. ‘I have met no-one who did not eventually feel better if they got the help that fitted them.’ 

‘Okay.’ Will sighed and leaned onto the wooden fence. 

‘But, Solace, on a different note, how are you feeling?’

Will swayed his drink around. ‘Worried. For Nico.’

‘How are you feeling if you take Nico out of consideration?’

‘Aside from my worries about Nico… I am doing pretty alright. I have friends and my siblings and work at the infirmary. Next year, I was thinking of applying for med school, and as it stands, I have a good chance of getting in.’

‘I am sure that it is more than just ‘a good chance’.’ 

Will chuckled. ‘I mean, I am not that good…’

‘I have seen your work. You are that good.’ There was a small silence, while Will took another sip of Sunny Delight. ‘But Solace, I am asking you about yourself because it is important that you take care of your own mental health as well. I think it is very good of you that you want to be such a support to Nico, but you must not forget who needs you to be there for them the most: you yourself. If it gets too heavy to have Nico rely on you, you should take a step back. He won’t be hurt because of it, he would be more hurt if you let him hurt you.’ 

Will thought for a second, while nodding a few times. ‘Yes, I know, and I’ll keep it in mind.’ He slowly rustled with the plastic wrap around the bottle. ‘Eh… but on a related note, Nico told me that there is an institution that specialises in therapy for demigods. Yet not a lot of us know about it.’

‘Yes, I picked up on that.’ 

‘So… I wanted to do a mental health campaign. Not just me, the other medics as well. We should create awerness. Now that I am here anyway, It suddenly came to me that I might as well ask it right now.’

‘Ask what?’

Will gave him a funny look. ‘If such a campaign is okay…’

‘Of course it’s okay. Why do you suddenly need permission? Nobody thought to ask permission when there was a camp-wide nerf gun fight going on.’

Will shrugged. ‘We want to start the habit of asking permission, I guess?’

Dionysus rolled his eyes. ‘Well, permission granted. Go make the camp aware of mental health issues. No, but seriously.’ He sighed deeply. ‘I’ll talk to Nico. If the voices really are getting worse because something is about to happen, it is only important that we know as much about it as possible.’

‘Do you really think something is about to happen?’

‘Absolutely. After what happened at Camp jupiter…’ He got a sad look in his eyes. He took a deep breath. ‘Lester will be coming this way, together with everything that that implies.’ He was silent for a few seconds. ‘But that is not important at this moment. Go get some rest, Solace, you have had a long shift in the infirmary. Remember: Taking care of your own mental health is the most important thing and the only way you can take proper care of others.’ 

Will nodded. ‘Amen.’ He drank the last bit of Sunny D. ‘Thanks for talking to me. I trust that you are good for Nico.’ The god did not answer, perhaps because he did not want to, more likely because he was way off with his thoughts. Will darted off, to the Hades cabin, for a nice long rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fun fact: I have seen absolutely no-one else write a therapy fanfiction between Dionysus and Nico, even though it is canon. It is a good thing I did not wait for someone else to do it, because I could have waited forever. 
> 
> I am trying to upload a chapter every three days. With which I mean that, for example, on tuesday I upload. Then I’ll skip wednesday, thursday, friday, and I’ll upload again on saturday.
> 
> Take care of your own mental health, my dudes. 
> 
> They don’t have Sunny D in the Netherlands. I have no idea what it tastes like or what it is made of.


	26. Demeters' Divine Orange Juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be a good title because it is a lot like the title I used way back for chapter one. This chapter is the last chapter D.L. (During Lester), so the world will be a little different in the chapters after this one.

I did not expect a juice box to appear during dinner time, but I wasn't surprised either. While the others got up, I stayed at the table. I looked up at Will, who was standing next to me. ‘I said I would help you with the mental health talk during campfire hours…’ Will leaned over and kissed me on my forehead. 

‘It’s okay, Nico. This is more important. It is going to be okay.’ _It will not be okay. Not until you get down here, where you belong._

When they were all gone, Dionysus came over and sat down on the opposite side of the Apollo table. ‘Hello, Nico.’

‘Hello?’ I picked up my juicebox. 

‘Did your boyfriend tell you that he spoke to me yesterday?’

‘Yes.’ Of course he did. ‘He… he would not keep something like that a secret.’ _How do you know? You can’t tell what he keeps secret from you. That is what they are secrets for. Naïve child._

Dionysus looked at my pained expression. ‘The voices are taunting you, aren’t they?’

I nodded. ‘Yes. They… they actually quieted down after I got to terms with being able to turn stuff to bones. The only time when they really rose again, was when I was in distress, like when we talked about Bianca. But now… they are there all the time again. They have not been back for long, that is why I didn’t tell you yet. I… I hoped they would just leave again.’ I shrugged. _You shouldn’t have told him. You shouldn’t have told anybody. No one here is trustworthy and neither are you._ Shut up. 

‘Right. However, next time I’d rather see that you tell me immediately.’ I shrugged again. I did not know what to say. I knew he was right. 

‘Do you think there is a reason that they have flared up? Aside from it being just a random thing for a few days.’ 

I nodded. ‘I have two ideas. One is that something is going on in Tartarsauce, or at least in the underworld. I hope not. What I think is more likely is that it means something is going to happen to Apollo. Maybe they… if I can call them they…’

‘That is actually good. That way they are not a part of you, but something else that needs to get out.’

 _We are a part of you. We will never get out._ ‘They refer to themselves as ‘we,’ so I always thought of them as they. But anyway, maybe there is something cosmic changing and that is why there is a flare up.’

Dionysus nodded. I put in the straw and took a few sips out of my juice carton. It dawned on me that I never actually drank a whole carton of Demeters’ divine orange juice, even though it was the drink that I associated with therapy. 

Dionysus stared at the camp. ‘About every ancient creature already showed its face in the last couple of years. The only one still out and about is the snake, so… I more or less hope that you are right. _Well, you are still here. You are quite the menance, won’t you say? You hear voices from Tartarus._ ‘The other option is a lot more likely.’ 

‘Apollo is coming this way of course. They defeated the second emperor in camp Jupiter, so their last stop will probably be camp Half-blood, to collect a team to aid in defeating Nero and the snake,’ I finished the train of thought. 

A little absentmindedly, Dionysus nodded a couple of times. ‘Listen, Nico. You had a big role to play during the Titan war and the Giant war. There is a chance that Apollo might ask you for help.’ _As if anybody would want your help._ ‘But I... I think it would not be a good idea to go along with him. You shouldn’t built up any more trauma.’ 

‘I cannot blame Apollo if he asks.’ _There is only one person to blame in this situation._

‘Hm.’ 

‘I mean, he has come far, but he is not there yet. He probably wants all the help he can get.’

‘And it might be best if you let someone else do that this time.’ I looked at the ground. Dionysus sighed. ‘However, I won’t hold you back if you decide to go. You should make that decision yourself. And, well, if the prophecy demands it, I guess trying to stop it will only do more harm. All I can do is tell you that I would rather see you stay in the camp.’ 

I did not answer. I knew I would probably go if asked. Mostly because Apollo would probably also ask Will and I couldn’t let him go alone. 

‘Nico?’

‘I… I know, and I understand.’ 

He gave me a sad look and sighed. ‘I also want you to know that if you do decide to go, it doesn’t mean that I stop helping you.’

‘Yes.’ _He will._ ‘But, eh... we are talking about a hypothetical.’

‘I have a sneaking suspicion that you already thought about it, a lot. I might even go so far as to say that you have already made up your mind. That makes it more than just a hypothetical.’ I shrugged and took a small sip. The juice tasted like mud. 

For a little while, we were both silent, until Dionysus scraped his throat. 

‘We need to see what will happen. To a certain extent, you are correct. We are arguing about a hypothetical. Until we know better what is going on, you should keep using the strategies I taught you to keep the voices under control.’ I nodded. _Keep us under control. Idiot._

‘Yes.’ _Don’t trust him._ ‘Eh, one more thing: the voices are more specific if I am talking to someone or doing something. Then they usually try to make me think I am doing everything wrong. However, if I am just, eh... being, it is more… ominous chanting. Come to Tartarus, free our lord, that sort of stuff.’ I shrugged. ‘Not much different from what I had way back in January, when you first reached out to me.’ 

He nodded a few times. ‘Alright.’ He stared at the strawberry fields. The sun had almost completely set at this point. ‘Nico, can you promise me that you will say it if it feels like you can’t handle it anymore?’

‘Yes.’ I nodded. I could say that, although I thought I could not say it with confidence. 

‘Good. If there is nothing else, than you may go.’ 

I slowly drank the juice I had left. ‘Yes. Thanks.’ _Don’t thank someone who wants to hurt you._

‘I think I’ll go join the others at the campfire. I promised Will to help with the mental health speech.’ 

‘Yes, go do that. Perhaps I’ll even join you. I am curious to see what Solace made of it. It can’t be much good, but you know, maybe it is passable.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No joke, putting the voice outside of yourself is how they told me to handle my eating disorder. 
> 
> Also I like to think Chiron lets Will and Nico sleep in the same cabin, because it helps both of them sleep better. 
> 
> After this, the story will be A.L. (After Lester), as I already said. There is already a lot planned, It will be a long time before I run out of story to write!
> 
> I reread some parts from tower of nero and realised that I veered off canon here and there. Whatever, Rick Riordan can’t even keep his own canon straight. In the last Olympian, he states that Hades met Maria di Angelo in Washington, which would mean they never were in Italy. However, in The tower of nero, it is said that Nico went to school in Italy. I’ll make of it what I can.


	27. Sweetend Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoot.

‘Well, we triumphed over evil once again.’ I shrugged Dionysus sighed. 

‘I guess we did.’ 

At the counter, Mary sighed as well. ‘I wish we could just be done with triumphing over evil. Cross it off the to-do list. It would be nice to bring the baby into a world with all the evil defeated,’ she said before turning back to her magazine. 

I nodded. ‘She’s right.’

This time, Dionysus shrugged. ‘Maybe.’ He leaned back in the chair a little. ‘But did you triumph over the voices in your head as well? Or, better said, what happened to them?’

‘Hm. I wouldn’t say I triumphed over the voices in my head. However, as soon as the snake was defeated, they calmed down. They are still there every now and then, but way less often.’

‘It is good to hear that it has become less. Still, we might need to figure out what the source of the voices was.’

‘I can quite certainly say that the snake was the indicator. After Nero was defeated and the one thing controlling the snake was gone, the voices were at their loudest. After a few hours of the defeat, they slowly became quiter and quiter, until they were nothing more than… I can only describe it as an ominous chanting, and then only on certain moments.’ I shrugged. ‘It bothers me, but I can live with it, I truly can. What bothers me more is the increase of intrusive thoughts I have been having since the last trial of Apollo.’ 

Dionysus nodded a couple of times. ‘What you are saying sounds logical. Because the snake will probably be out for some time, I think we can assume that the voices stay put as well. However, if they ever come back, you need to tell me. We still don’t know what they are, after all.’

I nodded. ‘Of course.’

‘Alright. Then how about we spend this session talking about what you can do to combat intrusive thoughts?’

‘Yes, okay.’ 

‘Alright. But first…’ He lightly tapped the top of the table. A big glass cup of water appeared. 

I picked it up and took a sip. It was sweet, sweeter than water should be. 

Dionysus opened his mouth to say something, but Mary was quicker: ‘Are you trying to put me out of business?’ 

‘No, I am saving you the effort of walking over her while seven months pregnant,’ Dionysus answered. 

Mary shrugged. ‘Fair enough.’

Dionysus chuckled, before turing back to me. I took another sip of water. ‘Okay. Now. What you can do is trying to turn a switch in your brain by attempting to think of something else. So, instead of thinking about a hurtful subject, you think about a funny subject. And the easiest way to do that is too think of a stupid song.’ 

I raised my eyebrows and took another sip of water. That sounded awfully silly. ‘What?’

He sighed. ‘I know it sounds dumb, but sometimes dumb things can have great effect. For an example you can look at Percy Jackson.’ 

I got a mini heart attack, until I realised he did not mean a great effect on me specifcally. I awkwardly chuckled. ‘Hm, yes.’ 

He gave me a weird look for a second. ‘Anyway. What is a song you find… kinda stupid, but in a good way?’

Hm. Now that is a question that will give me a full-on existential crisis. I took a thoughtful sip of water. ‘Ehm… Another One Bites The Dust?’

Now Dionysus raised his eyebrows. ‘Professionally I am not allowed to say this, but why would you think Another One Bites The Dust is a silly song?’

‘Well, I once saw someone drop to the floor and literally bite the dust while trying to dance to that song. Every time I hear it, I think of that.’ 

Dionysus stared off into the distance and smiled, as if he remembered a similar event. ‘Alright, that is pretty funny. Okay, so, the next time you think of something nasty, you try to think of Another One Bites The Dust and that person literally biting the dust. The technique won’t immediately work, but it will after you practice it for some time.’

I fell silent and looked at the doors. Out of nowhere, a memory of the indestructible cows tumbled into my brain. I let it remain there for a few seconds, before I switched to Another One Bites The Dust, which immediately directed me to the vison of the man falling on his face. I was still mostly thinking of the cows, but it made the thought more bearable. If I had to believe Dionysus, it would get easier to switch over time. I pulled a weird face. 

‘Alright, little overthinker, I did not mean you had to practise it right now.’ I shook my head, before taking another sip of water. ‘Next are the things I taught you way back in January and February, things that are simple to do: concentrating on breathing, talking to someone, drinking something.’ 

It was too easy to resist: ‘I fancy you are not talking about alcoholic drinks?’

‘How very sharp and on thin ice of you, Nico di Angelo.’

I took a sip of water. ‘Drinking water makes you stop worrying for a second, because you need to focus on something else,’ I obediently said. Which alcohol also does, but I get that that only makes the problem bigger. 

‘You get it. Another thing, which is more important in the long run, is that you keep doing stuff. See people you like, take time to eat properly, go to your training… go to your dad… you get it. That means you are distracted, which keeps you from sitting on your bed all day with nothing to do but think bad things.’

I nodded. That was logical. I knew that. ‘It seems like the most important thing you can do with thoughts like these is make sure you get distracted from them.’

‘That seems like that because it is like that. If you are beating yourself up with bad thoughts, what you need to do is get out of that rut.’

‘So I should try to think of something else, but I also should not bottle up my feelings or hastily push them under the mat.’

‘Thinking of something else and hastily shoving your feelings away are different things. One makes sure that you lead the thoughts away in a healthy manner, so that you get a clear mind to try and fix them, while the other one makes it so that the problems pile on top of each other until they inevitably lead to bigger problems.’

‘I get it, but I don’t get why, if you understand what I mean.’

‘The mortal mind is a mystery that is just slightly more understandable than the immortal mind.’ 

‘Hm.’ I took another sip. ‘And therapy? How does that play into the picture? Because it is not really distracting yourself…’

‘It is getting to understand what you feel in a safe environment…’

‘I know you are still talking, but I am cutting in, because when did you learn all this therapist lingo?’ 

‘Why do you have such an especially big mouth at the moment?’

‘Dunno. Maybe this subject is not that hard on me, so I react kind of louché.’

‘It is still important, Nico.’

I looked at my glass. ‘... I know.’ 

Dionysus took a deep breath. ‘Honestly, I feel like I should have revised all of this with you earlier…’ 

I waited for something else, but it didn’t come. 

‘I mean… you already told me a lot of this stuff and I have been practising it. The song thing, maybe that would have been handy to know earlier. But we were so busy with other stuff…’

‘Again with the excuses for others, Nico.’ I shut up and looked at my glass. 

Dionysus sighed and shook his head. ‘Well, I hope it is still useful for you today.’

‘Well, I think so.’

‘Good. Then I have done my job. Hopefully you are less cocky next time.’ He was silent for a few seconds, while I finished my sweetened water. ‘Ehm… that being said… I do think it is good that you can act like this. It shows that you’ve got your confidence back after that rough patch. Which you have gotten out of remarkably fast.’

‘Good to know that I have full permission to act the way I did as long as it isn’t directed to you.’

‘Thin ice, di Angelo.’ But hey, he did not disagree.

I shoved my cup aside, after which I yawned. 

Dionysus smiled. ‘If you promise to immediately go to bed, we’ll go back.’

‘I’ll immediately go to bed.’ I didn't even want to do anything else. 

Dionysus snickered and gave me a tired smile. ‘Alright, then.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you all have noticed that sometimes there are sessions in between what I write, because sometimes I just want to get on with the story. My own experience with therapy tells me that often you just do what you already did over and over again. But today I wanted to write one of those chapters, not in the last place because it felt like I needed an interlude after Lester/Apollo.
> 
> All techniques are legit. I am not kidding. Try the song one. Think of Nico di Angelo seeing some guy fall flat on his face while bopping to Another One Bites The Dust the next time you feel sad. 
> 
> The next chapter will be the last in the Apollo arc. Then we’ll get to what I like to call the ‘parents’ arc.
> 
> My test week is weighing down on me and this might be a little hastily (and gloomly) edited. Still though.


	28. Sparkling Mango Juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nico might not be very shaken up by the last trial of Apollo, but someone else is.

‘Nico di Angelo?’

I looked up from the floor, where I was sitting. None other than the great god Apollo was standing in my cabin. ‘Apollo?’

‘Yes, it is I.’ He looked around, until he saw my chair in the corner. He moved it to the middle of my room and sat down. 

I stayed on the floor. ‘What has brought you here?’ 

He drummed his fingers on the armrest of the chair. ‘I heard you spoke to Dionysus about our quest to defeat Nero and how you thought about it.’

I nodded. ‘Yes, I did.’

‘I was wondering if... you could tell me those thoughts as well.’ 

I looked at him. ‘Okay, I can do that. But first, I’ve got Sparkling mango juice. Do you want some?’ I got off the floor and walked to my closet. 

‘Eh… sure.’ I took two cans of the bottom shelf and gave him one, before I sat down again, on my bed this time. 

I pulled the tab off. ‘Alright. So, this was by far not the most traumatising thing to ever happen to me. Partly I never had to see Nero, or the snake.’ I fell silent. Now what did I say next? ‘Eh… and it was my own choice to go along this time, sort off. Even though Dionysus discouraged me.’ I took a sip of Mango juice. The prophecy might have been a factor, but still. ‘I guess I did not listen because... I thought I should do it, and who else could have helped you with the troggs?’ 

Apollo shrugged. ‘No-one. No-one else could have helped me with the troggs.’ He fiddled with the can, which he hadn’t opened yet. ‘Yet, it… sounds like you are just trying to make me feel better, even though I... I know I should have done better. For all my time as Lester, I just relied on everyone, and I whined, and…’ he shrugged again. ‘I don’t know, I just feel bad about that.’ 

I actually let out a little laugh. ‘Lord, that just means that you learned.’ I coughed. ‘Eh, but you don’t have to feel guilty about it. You carried your weight and what’s done is done.’ 

He smiled back. ‘Maybe it does mean that I learned. Nico, I know I need to take better care of my mortals now. Of my children, of my partners, of my friends…’ Finally, he opened the can. ‘They need love. I can’t leave them with nothing but an empty spot where I should be. If I meddled with their lives, I should expect them to meddle with mine.’ 

I took another sip, with a broad smile. ‘That is great. That is actually great.’ I put my can down for a moment. ‘And, well, I could be doing better, but I guess I am alright. I like the troggs, it is not like going after them traumatised me. I already was in contact with them and with that contact I could help you. Also, they send me the marvelous hat you can see right there.’ I pointed to my bedside table. A black beanie with a skeleton on the front was laying on it. ‘Nice, right? I don’t wear it often, but still.’ 

‘... It really is.’ He looked a little sad, all of a sudden. ‘They sent me a hat too, but it was just a regular white cap.’ Oh, was he jealous of me, the mere mortal? 

‘Well, maybe they thought you would want to customise your own hat?’ He shrugged. I took a sip of mango fizz, before sighing.

‘About what you said before. I hope more gods will begin to look after their children. It would raise their spirits, I think. I did notice you a little while back, with kayla and little Hypolita. A few weeks ago, I spoke with Hephaestus, and apparently he had been seeing his kids every now and then. Of course, I am currently talking to Hades. Now that you have been a mortal and you are setting an example, I hope that other gods will follow suit.’ I shrugged. ‘So… that is my thought.’ 

Apollo nodded, with a little smile. ‘I think… I hope so too.’

I took another sip of mango juice. ‘Dionysus thought a bit differently. He basically expressed a worry that it might cause all of the Olympians to get attached to their children, which might cause a lot of grief when they eventually die and the world might not be better off for it… but then he quickly cut himself off, so I did not get to ask further questions.’

Apollo shrugged and took his first sip. ‘This stuff tastes less bad then I expected. And… I understand what Dionysus means, that is generally an attitude some of the gods hold. After they learn how much losing a child hurts, they… try to stay in the background. And I must agree with Dionysus on one point: Some gods would indeed… forsake their tasks out of grief.’ I didn’t know what he was thinking of in the little silence that followed, but my mind shot to Demeter. Not that you could blame here for getting sad, really. Apollo scraped his throat, which pulled me back to reality. ‘I must confess, I did tend to forget about my kids… eh… some of the time. Dionysus did not do that often, forgetting, but he did try to keep the… mental-health distance? However, he did not always succeed. And in the other gods’ defence, he also had way less demigod kids then most of us, so there was less to get attached too.’ He stared at his can again. ‘Maybe... I won’t be able to keep up what I am trying to do now forever, but I’ll do it for as long as I can. It is time to give something back to my children and lovers.’ He nodded a few times, to emphasize the point. ‘Yes.’

I nodded back. ‘I think… that is admirable, Apollo.’

‘Yes, yes… but you have a similair thing with Hades, right?’ Oh, so there was some pride involved as well. Ah. 

‘Well, for Hades, it is a little different, maybe. I think that if he truly misses one of his children, he can just… bring their ghosts to his palace as advisers, or janitors, or court jesters or something. I think.’ 

Apollo thought about it. ‘Yes, that might be true.’ 

‘Yes.’ I took another sip, suddenly noticing that I had almost reached the bottom of the can. Of course, Dionysus wasn’t here, so the can did not refill itself. ‘Hmmm. Oh, but Apollo, how are you feeling about everything that happened? I haven’t asked yet.’ I looked up. 

For a few seconds, the sun god sat frozen. ‘Well… as you probably noticed, I have turned a new leaf. But…’ he suddenly looked very tired, tired and hurt. ‘Nico, I can’t stop thinking about the people that were lost, and about how my friends are doing, and about all the new demigods just trying to figure it out. In the middle of the night, I wake up with nightmares about everything that happened. And I feel guilty about old actions of mine, from when I was a young god, and being mortal made me realise all that, and, oh Nico…’ He buried his face in his hands. For a moment, I did not know what to do.

‘Apollo, it’s… it’s…’ I shook my head. ‘No, it is not okay. It sounds like you’ve got grief. And survivors’ guilt, general guilt, Other mental bruises. PTSD. Literal bruises. And…’ I took a deep breath. ‘And that won’t get better until you get help from someone. Someone professional. So, eh… for you, that is probably not Dionysus, although he might be able to help a bit. If you trust him enough.’

Apollo stared at his can. ‘Isn’t that just another way of being selfish, though? Having to talk all about my trauma, about me, that…’

‘No. You can only take proper care of others once you’ve taken care of yourself. And therapy isn’t selfish. Hell, I think it might even help you to not go back to your old, definitely selfish ways.’ Not that that would be inherently bad, seeing as how you are a god? I wasn’t sure about that.

Apollo stared ahead of himself. ‘Now you sound like a therapist yourself. I guess… I guess Dionysus taught you well.’ He stared at his can. ‘I’ll… I’ll think about it. But, you need to get some sleep…’

‘It is like… eight ‘O clock.’ 

‘Doesn’t matter. The sun is going to sleep early today too, you know.’

I drank the last bit of mango fizz out of my can. ‘I mean it, Apollo,’ I said quietly. ‘You deserve to get help, you worked so hard to get to the point you are at right now…’ 

He shrugged, but nodded a little more confident. ‘Hm.’ He patted my head once, which was a little weird, but alright. ‘I am just glad that I did not give you another trauma, Nico.’ 

‘You really didn’t, Apollo.’

He smiled, a little more sincere. The next moment, he was gone, but the can was still resting on his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not want to write both about Dionysus talking to Nico and Apollo talking to Nico, because that would just be writing the same story twice. And I thought Apollo had the more interesting side to show. Not that he would take Dionysus’ place, I wouldn’t dream of it! There is already so little Dionysus fanfiction as it is! 
> 
> Apollo has some trouble with the idea of therapy. Maybe I’ll write that too someday, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have a million ideas in my backlog already. That being said: I have got everything planned until chapter 49... now time to write it.


	29. Gray Ginger Soda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Hades blows them all away. Let the uncomfortableness begin!

‘Is there anything specific you want to talk about today?’ Dionysus asked. 

I slowly scratched a ketchup stain of the table. ‘Hm…’

‘Eh, Yes, there is.’ We both looked around. My mouth fell open. None other than my father was standing in the middle of the Denny’s, with three cans in his hands. 

I shot a glance at Mary, who was looking at Hades with her mouth open and her arms protectively wrapped around her baby bump. I could not blame her. I would be freaked out too if the lord of the dead was suddenly in my restaurant and I did not know him personally. 

I turned back to Dionysus. He looked more surprised than angry (For now at least). 

Hades strided over to our table (it wasn’t walking, one couldn’t call it walking. He was striding). When he was close, he slowed down for a second, before choosing to sit on the chair that was close to mine and far from Dionysus’s. He put the cans in the middle of our table. ‘There is… I have a few things we can talk about.’ 

Dionysus and I glanced at each other. Silently, we agreed to let him speak his mind. From behind the counter, Mary signed something at us that probably meant ‘is everything okay?’ I nodded, as a sign that it was okay. I had no idea what she would have done if it wasn’t, but that didn’t matter right now. 

Hades snapped his fingers. In a moment, the front doors locked themselves and all the lamps, except for the one above our heads, shut off. I heard Mary gasp and scoff. 

Dionysus sighed. ‘Hades, Mary is standing in the dark. 

Hades rolled his eyes. The light above the counter flicked on again. Mary took a deep breath, before giving Hades a cool look. 

Dionysus mimed something that might have meant ‘I’ll make up the difference for the customers that can’t come in.’ I wasn’t sure, but it seemed like a logical thing to mime at that moment. 

Hades stared at us for a few seconds. Now that I could see him up-close, he seemed nervous ‘Eh… do I just… begin?’ 

Dionysus narrowed his eyes. ‘Yes, that might be productive,’ he answered. I looked at the cans. Gray Ginger Soda. Whatever it was. 

‘Uh, I wanted to say something about… Nico coming to my place, and how I think he is... progressing.’ He was silent for a few seconds. ‘And I believe you are the one he usually speaks to, so it might be good if… you hear it as well. And, eh, I want to know what Nico thinks about it.’ Now he wasn’t just nervous, he seemed to be in a panic and a half. 

Dionysus eyed the cans. ‘Thanks for the drinks, although…’

‘As if I would drink anything made by you.’ Oh, now the old man was his stern self again. 

Dionysus rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair. ‘Well, tell us your thoughts.’ 

‘My thoughts?’ He shifted uncomfortably. ‘Erm… I think…’ he stared at Dionysus. An expression of pure unwillingness rolled over his face. 

Dionysus did not say anything. Usually, when I was having therapy, he would try to comfort me if it became too much to handle. But Hades was given no such treatment.

‘It’s okay, dad. He can’t tell this to anyone else.’ I gave Dionysus a look. He did not confirm nor deny my statement, which I took to mean that he would not blab it further, even though he totally could. 

It was clear that dad did not believe me at all. But he swallowed, and went on: ‘I like that you come to the Underworld every once in a while.’

I nodded, while reaching for one of the cans. If nobody was going to drink it, I would. ‘I like that too. That’s why I keep coming.’

‘Oh.’ He shot a glance at Dionysus. 

‘It is not like I force the kid to go,’ the wine god said. 

Hades’ gaze got harder. ‘Of course not. But anyway, so, I like it.’ He gave another look to Dionysus. ‘And actually I don’t care if you tell the other gods about that.’ Dionysus rolled his eyes. 

‘Hades, I won’t tell anybody anything about this, I promise,’ he sighed. Hades just stared at the cans, before continuing. 

‘And also…’ he paused for a second, ‘I think that it has been going better with us. I… I helped you with those greek sentences.’ He swallowed the sentence ‘Even though they were ridiculously easy.’ 

I nodded, with a small smile. ‘Well, yes dad, I think it has been going better as well. And that is what I have been telling Dionysus.’ I nodded in his direction.

‘He keeps defending you and saying everything will be better,’ the wine god piped in. ‘Basically all the time.’ He raised his eyebrows. I looked at my can. Well, yes, maybe I defended my dad a lot. But he really was trying to be better. 

Dionysus shrugged. ‘And I guess there is some truth in that. After all, you came here, prepared to say something, because you want to talk with not just him, but with his therapist as well.’ I looked up. Was that Dionysus defending Hades? Unbelievable.

‘Eh… yes.’ Hades shifted on the chair. I took a sip of the weird drink. It tasted like someone slamming me against the side of my head.

Hades took a deep breath. He looked like he was about to say something he revised for ages. ‘I…’ 

Dionysus stared out the window for some time, clearly trying to force himself to not be sarcastic. ‘It’s okay, go on,’ he said, so softly that it was almost unhearable. 

‘I… is there any more I can do for him?’ 

Dad shut off. He looked at the cans. His shoulders were hanging down, as if this question defeated him for real. No, it wasn’t the question. It was the fact that he was asking it to Dionysus.

Dionysus couldn’t even say anything at first. ‘You… are asking me for advice about what more you two can do?’

Hades seemed to melt to a pile of misery on his chair. 

‘Dionysus…’ I muttered. 

‘No, no, I think that is… that is amazing, Hades. Eh…’ 

I took another sip. This was surely something. 

Dionysus took a deep breath. ‘You should try to do what you are comfortable with and what you want to do. If… eh… you feel like giving him a hug, you should do that. But knowing you, it might be better to… I don’t know, walk the dog together or something.’ He shook his head and took a deep breath. ‘It is probably the best to work on communication and respect, like it always is,’ he said after a moment of reflection. ‘From what I have heard, you... still have some work to do there.’ 

‘Eh, yes,’ I cut in. ‘Well, dad, I would like it if we... talked more. And get better at seeing what the other is actually meaning with what he says. Or, eh, you could help me with more... life-y stuff. Other than Greek verbs.’ 

Hades stared at the table. I wondered what of what we said he had actually heard. ‘This is difficult.’

‘But you are doing it,’ Dionysus and I said at the same time. 

He even managed to conjure up a laugh, even though it was laced with nerves. ‘Nico… what could I possibly help you with that is more... life-y? I…’ He shrugged. ‘I am the lord of the dead. What do I know of anything that concerns you? Then you could better…’ he waved in Dionysus' direction. 

‘Yes, but you are my dad.’ 

His expression went completely blank. ‘Eh… yes.’ He shook his head. Two of the cans disappeared. Just mine stayed behind. Hades slowly got up. 

In a last stretch of energy, he forced himself to look Dionysus right in the eye. ‘I…I… think I have to thank you for what you do,’ he whispered. 

‘I should thank you for giving it a chance,’ Dionysus muttered back.

Hades shook his head. ‘You shouldn’t.’ 

It was quiet for a few seconds. ‘Thanks for the advice,’ Hades whispered. Then he disappeared. 

Dionysus was completely knocked out of the park for a few seconds. Then, he took a very, very deep breath, while the lights flicked back on and the doors unlocked. Mary turned her head towards us. ‘Was that… planned?’

Dionysus shook his head, slowly. ‘No, Mary. I promise on the river Styx that if something like that is ever planned to happen in this Denny’s, I’ll tell you.’ 

I moved my head around, trying to comprehend it all. ‘That was... unexpected.’

‘It was. But… I think you might be right. He might… truly be willing to turn over a new leave.’ 

‘Yeah I… think so.’ I shrugged. ‘It’s… alright. I am going back on the 19th of september.’ 

‘Hm. The day after summer has ended.’

‘Yes.’

‘You know what that means, right?’ 

‘Yes.’ 

He shrugged. ‘Watch out, Nico.’ 

When we stood up, Mary waddled towards us. ‘Good luck with that man, Nico.’

I picked my can of table. ‘Yes, thanks.’ 

Dionysus put a few banknotes on the table. ‘I’ll have to pay for all the money you could have made…’ 

‘That’s… it is never a lot.’

‘This is the evening shift, it is busier than during the night.’ 

Mary shrugged. ‘Still.’ 

‘Please take it. You need to buy stuff for the baby.’

‘We already have a lot of…’

‘No, believe me, you’ll need to buy more baby stuff.’ 

Mary put a hand on her stomach. ‘Okay. But next time I’ll give you double the drinks and you can’t say no.’

‘Deal,’ I said. Dionysus put his hand on my shoulder. ‘Goodbye, Mary,’ I said, before we disappeared.

When I walked past the Demeter cabin, I noticed that the flowers were already beginning to whiter. And summer wasn’t even here yet. I took a deep breath, as if to already mentally prepare myself for september, nineteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Persephone will be next and then I’ll finally get to Maria, like I promised an eon ago. (Okay, I’ll bite: How many years is an Eon? We don’t use this word a lot in the Dutch language).
> 
> Now go get yourself a glass of water. Or a can of Gray Ginger Soda, if you somehow have an entrance to the Underworld somewhere.


	30. Persephone's Spring Peach Juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news guys! This fic got nominated for the Solangelo fic awards 2021! I have no idea which one of you it was, but… thank you so, so much. Of course I would appreciate it if you voted for this fic. You can vote not for just mine, but for many more lovely fics on solange-lol, a Tumblr-account.  
> In this chapter, Persephone enters the stage...

‘Oh, ma’am, good morning…’

‘Yes, good morning, Nico.’ Persephone gave me the side eye, while she kept walking. 

‘Eh…’

‘Hades is in the study.’ My father has a study?

‘Okay. Thank you.’ I turned to the direction opposite to hers, hoping my fathers’ aforementioned study was that way. 

‘Dad?’

‘Nico!’ 

‘Hey, hello.’ He looked happy for a few moments, before a nervous shadow fell over his face. ‘What is it?’

‘Do I… do I have to hug you now?’

I tried not to laugh (And failed). ‘No, dad. That was just… Dionysus was just as confused as you are, I think.’ 

‘Hm.’ He shrugged, but at the same time he looked relieved. ‘Oh, eh, Persephone’s here.’

‘Yes, I know, I already saw her.’ I leaned against the doorframe. ‘Why… why aren’t you with her? Or something? After, you know, six months of...’ 

‘Well, eh… I wanted to give you the chance to talk to her.’ You what? ‘Because then… you have some time to talk with each other?’ 

The man meant it so well. ‘Eh… okay, I’ll… I’ll see, and I’ll see you in… a few hours then?’

‘Yes, sure.’ He turned back to whatever it was that he was doing. I spun around and walked back into the hallway. 

No way in hell was I going to… 

‘Nico?’ 

I immediately turned around one-eighty degrees. Persephone was standing behind me in the hallway. ‘Can you come with me? I promise I won’t change you into a dandelion. Or something like that.’ 

People can promise a lot without meaning it, but I decided to go along with her.

She led me to a salon, from which we could see her bedazzled garden. The shine of the prunes hurt my eyes. 

Persephone sat down in a chair that looked more like a throne. I decided to sit on a small couch next to the hearth. 

She slowly ran a hand through her hair. ‘My husband told me that you have been seeing a therapist.’ 

Did he also tell you who that therapist was? ‘Yes, that is correct, ma’am.’

She slowly pursed her lips. ‘Did you talk about me?’ 

‘Not a lot. But eh… I did mention the dandelion incident.’

‘Well… sure.’ 

‘And… eh…’ I looked at the ground. It was true that I had not said a lot about Persephone. But what I had said had not been very nice. 

I heard Persephone sigh. ‘According to my husband, you are often the one who has something to say. But today I want to give you my two cents.’ She straightened her back. 

‘Eh… okay.’ Although I am not always the person who knows just what to say. That is just the impression my dad has of the therapy sessions. 

‘Hm. Today you obviously don’t.’ Spot on. She shook her hair back. ‘From what Hades said, I understood that you came to the Underworld quite often in the past year.’

I waited until she continued, but then I realised that she wanted me to answer. ‘Eh, yes.’ 

‘And I have also understood that that is not going to stop during the autumn and winter months. That means the three of us, and Zeus knows whoever else joins, will have to get along.’ 

Ma’am, I don’t think Zeus knows… anything really. I didn’t say that out loud. Instead I just nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Now I am going to be upfront: I don’t really like you. Not because of who you are, you’re pretty fine. But I… Although I can live with it, I don’t really like my husbands’ affairs. I mean, I get it. I fall in love with a handsome mortal every now and then as well. But still.’ 

I nodded again. 

‘Yet, I also think that… you should still be allowed to come here. Because Hades is your father. And I understand how important a parent can be, most of all if the other one is… not there for whatever reason.’ 

She looked at me. ‘Yes.’

‘So, if it is up to me, you can still come here. However, at least at the beginning, I am not going to be involved much. Because as of now, I do not want to have anything to do with you.’ She nodded a single time, as if she was proud of herself for saying it. 

I sat on the couch and watched the trees in the garden outside. ‘...okay.’

‘Is that all you have to say about it?’

‘Eh...’ I put my hands into the pockets of my aviator jacket and got out two cans, which I had initially gotten for me and my father. ‘Well, I want to thank you for being so upfront. I don’t think a lot of gods would have taken the time to talk to a demigod like this.’

She shrugged. ‘Oh well. I thought, I better get my intentions clear. What is that?’

I looked at the two cans. ‘Eh… Persephone’s peach juice.’ I got a little red. ‘I didn’t really think about it. I needed something to drink and it was on sale in the camp store.’ 

‘Hm.’ She picked up one of the cans, opened it and took a sip. ‘Tastes good. You took it here yourself, so you should drink some of it as well.’ 

I took the second can off the table and pulled off the tab. 

Persephone sighed again. ‘Now that we are here talking anyway, and you are taking it so well, I also want to say that… eh, I think I’ll never want to be a mother figure to you.’

I was getting a little confused. I wanted to say that I didn’t even want her to be that, but I decided to be civil about it. ‘That is understandable…’

‘That is partly because I don’t want to take the place of your actual mother.’ She got a sour look on her face. ‘I have to give it to you, she… certainly was something special. Once she punched Hades in the face, because at first he wanted to leave the three of you in Italy, even though Mussolini’s intentions were clear.’ She took another sip of peach juice. ‘Not that I like her, but she was respectable.’ 

I kind of wanted to ask her if she could blame my mother for falling in love with Hades, but I decided that now was not the time. 

I took a deep breath and a sip of juice. ‘Lady Persephone, if I can be totally honest, I agree with that. I don’t think you can take the place of my mother. Because you’ll never be her. Not, eh…’ suddenly, I got a small lump in my throat. ‘Not that I really remember what my mother was like. My memory of her is… it has almost faded. And I don’t really know why.’ I looked at my can. I didn’t know what had suddenly made me say that.

Persephone gave me a concerned look. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. She seemed to go back and forth a few times, before sighing and taking a few big gulps. ‘Nico, I… I cannot help you with that today. You should talk about that with your therapist. And I think it is better if you leave now.’ She looked out the window, at her trees. 

‘Yes, okay. Thanks again for taking the time to talk to me.’ I got up and quickly got out. 

It was a lot to think about, but I could only appreciate Persephone for acting the way she did. 

I knocked on my fathers’ study, before pulling open the door. ‘Dad…’

‘Nico!’

He jumped up and almost ran towards me. ‘Did you talk to her? How did it go?’

‘She was the one to come to me. And eh, not to be the bringer of bad news, but she told me she doesn't really want to interact with me right now. However, she also said that she would not stop us from doing things together. I even think she believes that to be a good thing.’ 

‘Oh. Ah. Eh, alright then.’ 

‘Maybe it is better if you talk to her as well.’

‘I did!’

‘Again. And maybe again after that. Be crazy, make it a habit.’ 

‘...hm.’

I laughed a little. ‘But I think I want to go back to camp half-blood now. It is a lot.’

He looked a little confused, but he nodded. ‘Okay. Bye, then?’

I nodded. ‘Yes, bye.’ 

I turned around and walked away. It was not just Persephone. Our talk had jogged a memory about my mother. I truly did not remember her, now that I thought about it. That should be impossible. What even happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not want to have Persephone drink pomegranate juice. That is just too symbolic and I don’t think she’d want it. 
> 
> Imagine taking forever to write a chapter about Maria and then thinking the chapter about Persephone that preludes it is better…
> 
> In The Last Olympian, or in The Battle of The labyrinth, or both, Nico says he does not remember his mother. Hades does tell him something, but I think it still irks him. Anyway that is for next chapter.


	31. Milkywayy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small reminder that you can still vote on the Solangelo awards 2021 on @solange-lol (tumblr!)  
> I finally wrote about Maria di Angelo. Now that took f o r e v e r and I'll probably have to formally apologize.

I peered over at the counter, where some strange guy was standing. ‘I miss Mary.’

I looked at Dionysus, who slowly nodded. ‘Me too. Now I have to do my actual job.’ A mug with the word ‘Milkywayy’ on it appeared in front of me. ‘You requested this session. Do you want to talk about Persephone?’

‘No, she was very clear about what she expected and wanted. There is not a lot to be said aside from the fact that I really appreciate that. What is Milkywayy?’ Out of habit, I looked over at the counter, only to once again be hit with the reality that Mary was on maternity leave. 

‘I have no idea, but it sounded very special.’

Sure. I took a sip. It tasted very special as well.

I took a deep breath. ‘I requested this session because I want to talk about my mother. Maria di Angelo.’ 

His expression became more serious. ‘Alright. Do you have a starting point, or should I ask questions?’

‘I think I have a starting point.’

‘Okay. Begin when you want to.’ 

I waited a second before I started. ‘While I was talking to Persephone, I remembered that I don’t really have memories of my mother. I’ve got a few fleeting visions of her, from when I was little. A trip to the beach, one from when we were hiding somewhere in Italy, one where she comforted me after a nightmare, things like that. But all of those things don’t really tell me who she was. Those memories, that... eh, define her, are missing.’ 

‘What do you mean with ‘who she was?’’

‘What her perfume smelled like. How she walked. What made her happy and what made her angry. Basically, I don’t remember the things that made my mom my mom. My mom… a person.’ I shrugged. ‘It might be a weird thing to worry about…’

‘No… not at all. I know other people who don’t remember a parent who feel a similair way.’ Wait. Right. Semele. ‘Hm. Do you still feel grief about the loss of your mother?’

Ah, hitting me with the difficult questions. I took a sip of Milkywayy while I thought about it.

It took a few minutes to make up my mind. ‘I think I do grief about my mother. But more because of all the memories I am missing than because of the memories I have.’ I shrugged. ‘Most people grief based on the memories of a loved one. But… I don’t really have that. I miss...’ a lump raised in my throat. I swallowed.. ‘...I miss the memories I could have had. I miss… knowing what it is like to have someone...’ I began to cry. I didn’t finish the sentence. ‘So... I more grief the absense of memories,’ I sobbed. 

Dionysus did not answer. When I looked over, I saw that his eyes were damp as well. 

‘Eh… sorry if I made you think...’ I shrugged. 

Dionysus rubbed the tears away. ‘That is not important right now.’

I shrugged and took a deep breath. ‘It… I guess it is kind of comforting that I now know why I don’t have any memories.’ It hurt to think about it. Dionysus looked up. 

‘You don’t have to say it if it is too much right now.’

I stared at my mug. ‘But can I do it?’ Because it looks like it might be too much for you at the moment, instead of for me. 

He closed his eyes for a second, which seemed to stabilise him. ‘Yes.’ 

I nodded. ‘Apparently… Alecto dipped me into the Lethe,’ I muttered. ‘And I think that is something Hades asked her to do. Maybe it was the only way he could think of to protect us from trauma.’ I shrugged, while another tear ran down my cheek. ‘I don’t know if it is for better or for worse. I… I think I might have to talk to him about it.’ The thought of which made me sob again. 

Dionysus slowly nodded. ‘Nico, if you think it is safe to talk about that to your father, then you should do it. That will probably bring you further than talking to me will. Although I am very glad you said it.’

For a few seconds, we were silent, while I tried to re-organize my mind. I took a sip of Milkywayy. It made me feel a little calmer. 

‘Is it okay if I ask a difficult question?’ 

Kind of? ‘Uh… It’s okay.’ 

‘Have you ever tried to bring your mother back from the Underworld?’

Like someone else I know did, you mean? I could shake my head without lying. ‘No. I wanted to do that with Bianca, but not with mom. That… that is probably because…’ I shrugged. 

‘There doesn’t need to be a reason. Not right now. And Nico, I don’t think it is bad that you do not want to get her back. That probably means that you are already slightly further with processing your grief.’ 

I shrugged. ‘Maybe. I do know Bianca’s death, and Jasons’ death, hurt more.’ I looked at the table. ‘But… that feels wrong.’

‘Do you think your mothers’ death should make you feel worse?’ 

‘Yes? Maybe. I don’t know. Because… I mean, I don’t…’ I shrugged. ‘It’s difficult.’

‘Yes, Nico, it is difficult. But you don’t have to feel more grief than you feel. You miss her, that is clear. And that is enough. You don’t have to feel more than you do.’ 

I stayed quiet. Yes, it is easy when you just say it. 

‘It is easy when I just say it, isn’t it?’ 

I nodded. ‘I think you would know.’ Oh. ‘I didn’t mean to say that.’ 

He gave me a slightly angry look. ‘I’ll ignore it this time.’ He shook his hair over his shoulder. ‘Do you think it has been enough for this time? Maybe you need some time to think about everything?’

‘Yes, maybe it is.’ I wiped the remains of the tears out of my eyes, before I got up. 

I drank up my Milkywayy, expecting Dionysus to teleport us back to camp immediately after, but that did not happen. Instead, he made us walk out of the Denny’s, into the New York city night. 

I pulled my aviator jacket tighter around my shoulders. ‘Why…’

‘Zeus was unhappy that I kept coming to New York. Yet, if we walk like ten minutes, we’ll be in a zone where he never comes. He won’t noticed us teleporting.’ Sounds fair. 

Somehow, the night calmed me down. I heard sounds, and there were lights, and I was not alone. 

On our way to the zone, wherever it was, I saw a small cabinet standing in an alley. For a moment, I stopped walking.

‘Nico? What are you doing? It is dangerous to stop next to Alleyways.’

‘Yeah… yeah.’ I looked at the cabinet. There was an almost extinguished candle in it, which made a picture of a man visible, and a small banner reading ‘Rest in Peace.’ 

‘Nico!’ I lookd up and darted back to where he was standing. 

‘Yes. Sorry.’

‘That’s…’

‘There was a cabinet in that alleyway. I think it was meant as a memorial to someone’s friend. Or boyfriend. Doesn’t matter. I… I think it is a nice idea.’ I slid my hands into my pockets.

Dionysus looked at the ground. ‘Do you want to make something like that yourself? For... Bianca, or your mother?’

‘Well… maybe I do.’ 

‘I think it is a good idea.’ He shook his hair, which suddenly seemed longer, back over his shoulder. ‘Make a remembrance cabinet.’

‘Yes. It sounds like a healthy way of processing my grief.’ 

‘It does. Here. We are in the right zone,’ he said. I nodded, while we teleported back to camp Half-blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… In Greek mythology, Semele, Dionysus’ mother, died before the dude was even born. Some sources say that later, he retrieved her soul from the the Underworld like a champ (Same goes for Ariadne’s soul). But doing that might not be the best way to deal with grief. 
> 
> I feel like the Persephone chapter is better than this one. But also, This Was Difficult. 
> 
> There will be a few more things said about Maria? There will be a chapter were Nico is going to get the cabinet. Don’t expect too much, though. Or do I don’t control you. 
> 
> Btw I know Milkyway is a candy bar but I thought this was funny. Imagine the god of wine giving you bootleg chocolate milk.


	32. British Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is a baby!  
> Small reminder that you can still vote for the Solangelo rewards 2021 on Solange-lol! My fic is nominated too!

Dionysus teleported us to a pretty nice apartment block in the middle of New York. ‘What number?’ I asked. 

‘32.’ 

‘Alright.’ I walked to the door and hovered my fingers over the bells, but when I found it, I did not ring it. 

‘Is something wrong?’

‘I am a little anxious.’ 

‘A little?’

‘Okay, quite. Quite anxious.’ 

‘Hm. Does that get better if you don’t ring the doorbell, even though we have an appointment?’

He had a point. I pressed the doorbell, which felt like quite the achievement. 

‘Who’s there?’ A male voice asked through the intercom. I took a deep breath. 

‘Uh…Nico. Nico di Angelo.’ I swallowed. ‘Um, Mary invited us…’

‘Of course! Come on in!’ The door opened with a soft click. I shot a look at Dionysus, before we walked into the building. 

‘How come that you are so nervous all of a sudden? Usually, you talk to people quite easily. I am assuming you did not talk to the troglodytes like this when you first met them.’

‘I don’t know. Something about the fact that Mary has a baby makes me nervous. I am afraid I’ll hurt them.’ 

‘It’ll be okay. Try to calm down. His name is Ernest, by the way.’ 

‘Because you are such an authority on names.’

‘Now, we are not getting your mouth too big.’

I tried to laugh, but it was higher pitched than usual. ‘Of course not.’ 

The door was already open. A man in his late twenties was standing in the doorway. He looked like he was perpetually on a pink cloud. 

He stuck out his hand. We both shook it. ‘You must be Nico,’ he told me. ‘And are you Dio? I don’t hear that name often.’

Dionysus shrugged. I assumed Mary had not told George his full name. ‘Oh well.’ 

‘Come in,’ George said, with stars in his eyes, ‘Ernest is just awake!’ He led us into the apartment, which looked cozy. They had a fluffy couch in the living room, and Mary was sitting on that couch, and she was holding the tiniest human I had ever seen in my life. 

I mouth fell open a little. Mary smiled. ‘Look, Nico, this is Ernest.’ 

‘He’s… he’s so…’ I took a step backwards. My anxiety went throught the roof. 

George looked at us with a huge smile, seemingly unaware of how I was feeling. ‘He is beautiful, isn’t he!’ He sighed. ‘Do you want anything to drink?’ Dionysus looked at Mary and at me. ‘I think we could all use a cup of tea. I’ll help’

‘That’s not…’ 

‘No, it’s okay.’ Dionysus looked over at George, who went quiet, turned around and walked to the kitchen. Mary raised her eyebrows and shot Dionysus a look. ‘Don’t give him a heart attack.’

‘Of course not.’ Dionysus walked after George, so that I was left alone with Mary and Ernest. 

She turned back to me. ‘Come, you can sit down.’ I stayed where I was. 

‘He… he is so small.’ 

‘Yes. It’s okay, Nico.’ My heart rate increased. I didn’t want to hurt the baby, but I did not want to upset Mary either.

Slowly, I walked over to the couch and sat down. Mary pushed the blue, fluffy blanket aside a little. ‘Look.’ 

I looked at the small bundle in her arms. The baby was wearing a jumper and a small hat. He looked adorable, but all I could think to say was: ‘Why… why is the hat pink? Not that it matters, but...’ 

‘We didn’t really think about it when we bought it,’ she said, with a small shrug. ‘After he was born, we did think that it was a little unconventional. But as you said, it does not reallt matter. It is just a hat!’ I slowly nodded. 

‘I mean, it fits, pink is Aphrodites’ holy colour.’ 

She chuckled. ‘Yes, it is.’ 

Ernest’ little eyes were open. They turned to me for a second. ‘He sees, but he doesn’t really see me, right?’ 

‘No, he is too small for that.’

‘Ah.’ Then I need to be even more careful with him. 

Dionysus and George came back with a platter of tea and biscuits. George was non-stop talking about the new baby. To me, it seemed like a miracle that Dionysus managed to look interested in what he was saying. 

He put the platter onto the table. George kept talking while making all of us a cup of tea, without thinking to ask whether we wanted sugar or milk. We just got it. I didn’t mind, though, I kind of liked tea with milk. 

When he was done with his story and with his tea, George sat down next on the other side of Mary. Dionysus sat down in an armchair slightly further away. 

For a moment, we all just looked at the baby. ‘He’s beautiful, right?’ George asked. An even bigger smile grew on Mary’s face, while she looked at her boyfriend for a second. 

‘They always are,’ Dionysus commented. I only nodded, still a little fearful. 

Mary looked up at me again. ‘Do you want to hold him?’ 

‘What?’ I swiftly shook my head.

‘It’s okay, Nico. I am here, and Dio is too...’ 

I looked at my hands. I mean, I did want to hold the baby, but…

Ernest gave a little cry. George jumped up. ‘I’ll go see what’s wrong,’ he said, sounding slightly panicked. He carefully took Ernest from his mother, before walking to the next room. Mary gave Dionysus an angry look. He was playing innocent. 

She sighed. ‘Nico, it really is okay,’ she reassured me. 

‘What if I hurt him? I don’t want to hurt him. He’s so small.’ 

Dionysus scraped his throat. ‘Nico, why do you think you’ll hurt Ernest?’

‘Sometimes I feel like I’ll lose control.’ 

‘Have you ever lost control the past few months?’

‘No. Not since the monster attack on Denny’s.’

‘So why would you lose control now?’

I shrugged. ‘Logically, I know that the chance is basically zero. Yet, that does not make the fear go away.’ Dionysus was quiet for a moment. Mary laid a hand on my shoulder. 

‘Do you want to hold him? As in, just want it, if you don’t think about your fears for a second?’ 

‘Yes.’

‘Then you can just come back when you feel better about it. That’s okay, I know you, after all.’ 

I looked at the couch. ‘I really like the baby, it is not that.’ 

Mary smiled, as if it truly did not matter. ‘Do you want to see him again, though? Otherwise, you can just leave now, before George comes back.’

I shook my head. ‘I want to see him again.’ I looked at Dionysus, who gave me a single nod. 

A few minutes later, George came back with Ernest. ‘He has been cleaned up.’ He gave the baby back to Mary. I looked at Ernest. For a moment, I could imagine that he was looking back.

We sat and talked for a few minutes, but I did not really listen. After a while, I took a deep breath. ‘Eh… can I still hold him?’ 

Mary gave me a surprised look. ‘Of course.’ Slowly, she handed me Ernest, until I was holding him on my own. He looked sleepy, with his little blanket and his little hat. He was warm, tiny and his small eyes were looking, or trying to look. I cradled him slightly closer and smiled.

‘He’s so soft.’ 

George sighed. ‘Yes.’

‘I think that is mostly the blanket,’ Mary commented. George shook his head in the background. Mary turned around. I laughed. 

The baby gave a small cry when my arms shook. With a start, I looked back at him. Oh, he was already calm. Was he already calm? 

‘Shall I take him back?’ Mary asked. 

‘Yes,’ I said, a little freaked out. With utmost care I gave Ernest back to his mother. 

After that, I picked up my tea and took a sip. George decided it was time to begin another story, but now I was happy to listen to it. 

After half an hour, Ernest had fallen asleep. Mary looked tired. 

‘I think it might be time to leave,’ Dionysus commented. I nodded, and so did Mary. George got up and showed us out. 

After he closed the door, Dionysus put his hand on the wall next to it. He whispered a few words in Ancient Greek. When he was done, he beckoned me down the stairway. ‘I had to bless them,’ he explained, ‘Mary should have a healthy, happy baby and Ernest should have a happy, healthy mother.’ I completely agreed. 

‘Nico?’

‘Yes?’ 

‘What made you suddenly think that you could hold Ernest?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But I did it.’

‘Are you glad you did it?’

‘Yes. I am very happy I did it. On one hand because I liked Ernest, but on the other hand because it feels like I am closer to defeating that fear. I really did not hurt him. So next time, I probably won’t either.’ I sighed. ‘Thanks for coming along.’

‘Hey, I wanted to see the kid too.’ He looked at me with a small smile. 

‘Ah.’ 

He sighed deeply. ‘Don’t listen to me, Nico. I think you did very well.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hand-shaking,,,,, it feels like a century ago that that was considered polite,,,,
> 
> Btw why is there no celebratory food for when a baby is born in the USA? In the Netherlands, you get ‘beschuit met muisjes’ when you visit a new baby. It is a sailors biscuit, but with butter and little anise dots (the muisjes), usually blue for a boy and pink for a girl, although there has been a new trend of gender neutral ‘muisjes,’ which are red for example. When a royal baby is born, for a small period of time the stores will sell orange anise dots.
> 
> This is the end of the (Admittedly rather short) Parent arc! Of course there will be way more content with Hades and/or Persephone, but I think that falls under the new arc that will begin after a bonus chapter....


	33. Lemon Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bonus chapter! Thanks to MKDemiGodzilla-Warrior for giving feedback on the last bonus chapter. I hope this is less confusing to read!

‘A crisis?’

‘A crisis. Well, something Zeus considers a crisis. I have no idea when it will start yet, but I don’t care. It buys us extra time.’ Dionysus stroked a strand of hair out of Ariadne’s face. She took a deep breath and pulled Dionysus into a hug. ‘We must have at least an hour...’ 

Ariadne pulled back a little, so she could kiss him. ‘It’s never long enough.’

After a few minutes of trying to make up for lost time, Dionysus took a step back. ‘Are you feeling better?’

Ariadne nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Very good. Eh, I mean…’ he sighed. ‘Hm.’

Ariadne got a sly smile on her lips. ‘Still stuck in therapy mode? Helping the son of Hades must be no easy feat.’

‘Well, no.’

She gave him a look only she could pull off. ‘Won’t you tell me more?’ 

He grabbed her hand. ‘Are you really going to… analyse the therapist?’

‘Yes.’ Nothing else said. 

‘Hm.’ 

‘Come on.’ She slowly beckoned him towards the sofa on the balcony, from which they could look out over the vinery that encircled the palace. They sat down. Ariadne laid her head against Dionysus’ shoulder. 

He took a deep breath. ‘I mean, he is not the first person I am helping with mental issues. You know that.’ 

‘I do.’

‘However, the people I helped before were never just ordinary people. Not to say that Nico is an ordinary child, but he is not famous, or royalty, or both. By some means, he is a regular kid. Yet, he has already been through so much. And I wish it would be different. I wish he would not need me. Then he could be happier.’ 

Ariadne sighed. ‘He is a Hades kid. Often, that complicates stuff…’

‘But it should not be that way!’ Dionysus stretched his arms out, so that he accidently hit her against her ribs. ‘Oh, sorry, are you…’

‘Ah, it’’s okay’

‘Are you sure…’

‘Yes.’

They looked at each other until they were both smiling. Then, Dionysus continued. ‘As I said, it shouldn’t be that way. Hades kids should not be classified as unhappy because of who their father is.’

‘I agree.’ 

‘Then… then you agree. You get it.’

She gave him a sarcastic look, with a sly smile. ‘I tend to get what you are saying.’

‘Of course.’ He slid his arm around her waist.

Ariadne’s gaze trailed off. ‘Dionysus, Do you recognise part of yourself in him?’

Dionysus thought about it for a second. ‘I would say slightly more than I already do in most demigods, because he also has no memories of his mother. But that is it, I think.’ He sighed. ‘It was difficult to listen to him talk about Maria di Angelo. It hit a little too close to home.’ 

‘Yes.’ 

‘There… there are other things that are difficult to talk about because of myself, but usually I can easily hide them away for a moment. At least I like to think so. The issue is more that I cannot often voice them out loud.’ He pulled Ariadne closer. ‘It is not something I want to talk to Chiron about.’

Ariadne stroked his hair out of his face. ‘Why not? He was your mentor too, once.’

‘Still. Now I am his colleague.’ 

‘Hm.’ 

After a moment of stillness, Dionysus continued: ‘Yes, the kid has a difficult time. But I glad to see that he trusts me and that he progresses. He has been...’

‘... Trying to make amends with his father, Hades?’

‘Yes. How do you even know? Ah well, probably intuition.’ 

‘Probably? We have been married for threethousand years, of course it is intuition.’

‘That has been proven once again. But yes, he has been going to Hades and tt has a positive effect on both of them. Hades is beginning to change his behaviour. It has been going babystep by babystep, but still, that is no easy feat after thousands of years of acting the same way.’

‘...yes.’ 

Dionysus gave her a side look. Ariadne didn’t answer it. 

‘Overall Nico has grown so much in just a few months. Even when he got into a bit of a slump… he got out of it. He found healthy ways to cope.’

‘...that is great of him.’ 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Ariadne slid her hand into his and sighed. 

‘...you are still thinking of what I said about Hades. Perhaps even that I should try the same thing. Change old behaviour and take better care of the demigods...’ She looked him dead in the eye. ‘...of myself.’ 

‘You deserve to feel better. That is something you always say to your new patients. I think you can do it, you did it before.’

‘Well… then I had you to support me.’

‘Dionysus, you still have me to support you. The only reason I haven’t broken the rules yet - the way you did yourself, by the way, when something happened - is because you don’t want it. I’ll come down to camp every day if it meant you’d be happier, no matter what would happen.’ 

‘And I can’t let you do that.’

‘There is a point in time where I just will.’

‘I know.’

They moved even closer. For a short moment, it was silent, until Dionysus looked at her again. ‘How’s the bar coming along?’

Ariadne shot him look to show him that she knew he was changing the subject, but she couldn’t help but smile. ‘Oh, it is going quite good. I’ve branched out, there is also a location in Portland now...’

For the rest of the hour, they talked about this and that, trying to get everything out of their time that they could, until someone inevitably rang the bell that indicated it was time for the Olympians to go to the throne room. Unwillingly, Dionysus got up. ‘I… hope I’ll see you soon.’

‘You will.’ It sounded definitive. Ariadne leaned in for one more kiss, before she put her hands on her hips. ‘Now go.’ They both tried to smile, until Dionysus teleported away, separating them once again.

Ariadne turned around. She saw the glasses of Lemon water, which she had already poured out. She had completely forgotten about them. She snickered. Oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There should be more Ariadne fanfiction. I am being denied my rights. 
> 
> Was this sappy? Yes. Do I care? Nein. 
> 
> Imagine being married to Dionysus for literal thousands of years. 
> 
> Actually, imagine being married to anyone for literal thousands of years and then suddenly they are ripped away from you. 
> 
> Also, my headcanon is that they are actually poly, because I think it makes sense mythology-wise. It actually does so with a few devine couples. 
> 
> Btw, the reason I go through with numbering the bonus chapters is because otherwise the chapter numbers will get confusing to me.  
> Also after this, the upload schedule will continue as usual. But I don't think a bonus chapter is really a bonus chapter unless it is well, a bonus, an extra.


	34. Coffee In A Cardboard Cup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever seen a god in IKEA?

‘Is this sort of like Hephaestus’ workshop?’ My dad looked up at the big, glowing IKEA logo over our heads. 

‘Let’s say it sells you the parts to start your own Hephaestus’ workshop at home.’

‘Then why are we here when we could have gone to Hephaestus?’

‘There is a restaurant. Also, most mortals cannot go to Hephaestus’ workshop.’ 

‘They could in the old days!’ 

‘These aren’t the old days anymore.’

‘That is no reason to go to a dump like this.’

I sighed. ‘Let's just get inside.’ 

‘So, what do you need? Let’s be quick, I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary.’

‘We’ll have to follow the route through the entire store. That might take a while.’

Hades threw his hands in the air, which made his robes flutter. I wondered what the mortals saw through the mist. ‘Why?’

‘Store design. Probably a tactic to generate money.’

‘How stupid.’ 

‘Let’s just go, dad. I know what I want, so we can quickly walk past the bedroom- and kitchendisplays.’

Even though Hades speed walked through the IKEA, pulling me along, it took about fifteen minutes to get to cupboard display. My dad was walking so fast we almost skipped them. 

‘How big is this store?’ Hades yelled when I told him to stop. A few people looked at us. 

‘Big. Okay, I am going to choose one of these cabinets.’

‘Yes, you will. Why, again?’

I stared at the cabinets in front of me. It needed to be thin and about a metre high. For a second, I wondered whether I should just lie about dads’ question. 

‘I wanted to make a memorial for mom. And for Bianca.’ Also Bianca, although I might have mentioned that to soften my intent. 

‘...ah.’ He ruffled with his sleeves. ‘Did you already tell me that?’ 

‘Only in passing,’ I muttered. Not with so many words. It was difficult, okay?

‘Okay, eh, but, I think it is a good idea.’

I looked up and gave him an awkward smile. ‘Yes. Thanks.’ I turned back to the cabinets. 

‘I think I want the black one. With the glass window.’

‘Not the white one?’

‘No, that one is thicker, I don’t want that if I can have the other one.’

‘Oh.’ He looked a little confused. ‘Than we’ll take the black one. Can you carry it?’

I turned around. ‘We don’t have to, not yet anyway.’ I looked around. ‘Do you see a dispenser with pencils and paper somewhere?’

‘Paper and pencils? What do you need those for?’

‘We need to write down the number and unpronouncable Swedish name of this cabinet...’

‘Nico, we can just get out of this store. I’ll ask Hephaestus to make you a cabinet.’

I shook my head. ‘I wanted to get it here. Then it feels like I made the cabinet myself without having to cut wood or something.’ 

‘This is a pre-made cabinet!’

‘It only looks like that.’ Oh, dad, if only you knew. I noticed a pencil dispenser close by and walked towards it. Like a good citizen, I took only four pencils when I could have totally gotten five. 

After I had written down the product information, I looked back at my dad, who looked very confused by everything. ‘Now let’s go to the storage room before we buy a bunch of useless stuff.’

‘How long are we going to be in here?’

‘I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes?’ 

‘I want to get out. And I don’t feel tempted to buy anything at all here, I don’t know why you are afraid we’ll buy useless stuff.’

I was tempted. I wanted to have the fancy black lamp, for example. I had to admit, my father was a good IKEA partner. He stopped me from caving. ‘We’re almost there.’ 

My father nervously looked around. ‘What even is the storage room?’

‘It is like the Underworld of IKEA. We pick up a box with everything we need to built the cabinet ourselves.’ 

‘What an...’ He took a pause. ‘...unique concept.’ I looked over my shoulder. 

‘Yes, it is.’

‘This is it?’

‘it is.’

‘Also, Nico, I think it is a very good idea.’ I looked up from taking the box of the shelf. Dad was looking at the ground. ‘To make a memorial. I could not do such a thing. It would hurt too much to remember my past.’

I took a second to reply. ‘Yes, I get that.’ He looked like he wanted to say something, but it did not come. Not now, at least. 

‘Okay, now we got this… this.’ Hades looked at the box. ‘And now? Somehow it feels like we are still stuck in this prison of interior design.’

‘We can get something to eat at the restaurant. Or something to drink.’

‘Yes, yes, let’s do that. Eh, where do we keep the…’ He narrowed his eyes, while trying to read the Swedish on the side of the box. 

‘We’ll just carry the you-know. Come, I want a cup of something.’

The restaurant amazed him even more than the store itself. We sat down at a table next to the window, each with a cardboard cup of coffee.   
He took a deep breath. ‘I want to say that I might have something you want to put into your shrine,’ he mumbeld. 

‘Memorial cabinet.’ I didn’t like to call it a shrine.

‘...Memorial cabinet.’ He shifted into a different position.

I took a sip of my coffee. It tasted like sludge, but it was better than what I had drank at Hephaestus’ place. ‘What then?’

My father snapped his fingers. A picture of my mother appeared out of thin air. ‘This. I kept it for quite some time, but I think...’ He swallowed. ‘...you know, I also learn things from the things you tell me. And I think keeping something like this around isn’t healthy for me? But it might help you.’

I looked at the picture. It was a black-and-white photo of my mother as a young woman. She was wearing a hat, a waistcoat, gloves and a string of pearls. She was smiling widely at whoever was holding the camera. 

I smiled back at her. Hades put a and around his cup. He knew he should get rid of it, he just could not get himself to destroy it for good. 

I looked up at him. ‘Thanks. I’ll put it into my cabinet.’

‘I know you will.’ He looked out the window, to the people in the parking lot. ‘I still have a locket as well, and a picture of Bianca. You can have those too.’ 

‘Maybe it can be our memorial.’

‘I think I it has to be your memorial.’

I slowly nodded, while taking a sip of my sludge and trying not to gag.

While we were carrying the cardboard box into the parking lot, I looked up at my dad. My heartrate increased. ‘You said it should be my memorial.’

He immediately knew what I was getting at, probably because he had been thinking about since I told him I wanted to make a memorial. ‘Nico, eh, about Alecto, and the Lethe.’ He lowered the box to the ground. ‘In hindsight...’ he pulled on his sleeve. ‘In hindsight I think that is one of the worst things I have done.’ He looked like he was about to cry. ‘When you and your sister were small, it seemed like a good idea. I wanted to free you two of the weight of being demigods, or at least the weight of having a dead mother. I should have known...’ He moved his hands to the side. ‘...I should have known it does not work that way. That it was absurdly stupid to even think of it.’ He held a hand in front of his eyes. ‘Sorry, Nico. Sorry. If it means absolutely anything, sorry.’ 

I looked at him. ‘It doesn’t bring my memories back,’ I muttered, ‘But now that I see that you…’ I looked at the ground. ‘It does mean something to me, dad.’

‘Not everything.’

‘Not everything. But something.’ 

He took a deep breath. ‘Something is good,’ he said. Slowly, he picked up the box again. ‘Let’s get this to...’

‘To camp?’

‘To camp. But next time, you are going to get it made by Hephaestus. Maybe you can even ask Dionysus to request it. Those two go way back.’ 

Yes, they did. ‘Is that very well known?’

‘Of course it is. You could even say Hephaestus was the first person Dionysus ever helped with his mental issues.’ He sighed. 

We brought the box to my cabin via teleportation. Hades forgot to say goodbye. He just left me alone with my box, a few posters for the mental health action me and the Apollo campers had been working on, and Will, who was asleep on my bed. 

I laid down next to him. He groaned. ‘Nico?’

‘Who else.’ 

‘Everything okay?’

‘Yes. I think I might go to Hephaestus in a few days, to talk and to let him make my cabinet more beautiful.’ 

‘Nice.’ He drifted off to sleep again. Not soon after, so did I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the trouble with the world today beyond a doubt, is coffee, in a cardboard cup. 
> 
> It might be more than just Coffee In A Cardboard cup LMAO. But go listen to that song, it was in the musical ‘And the world goes ‘round.’ I love it, it is my happy song. 
> 
> Nico and Hades managed to avoid all the ghosts of people who went into IKEA and never got out this time. Be safe, people, don’t let IKEA take your soul. Don’t sell it for meatballs. 
> 
> Sorry to any Swedish readers. I am sure the words on the side mean something, but I imagine that to an American they look like nothing, that is why I wrote it this way.


	35. Hypnos' Sleepy Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, you might notice I made some things up,,,

I woke up with a loud gasp. I clutched my blanket and only let go once my breathing slowed down a little. By accident, I dropped my blanket, so that a wave of cold hit me. I cringed and tried to take a deep breath. 

I wanted to tell myself that it was just a dream, but I could not believe it. After a few minutes of staring off into darkness, I groaned and slowly got out of bed. The floor felt cold to my feet. I found my aviator jacket on the floor near my half-built IKEA cabinet. While I was putting it on, I stumbled to my closet. Even though I had been fully aware of my cold feet the entire time, I only noticed I wasn’t wearing any socks after I had shadowtravelled to the big house. 

Dionysus was sitting in the living room, facing the fireplace. While I walked into the room, he turned his head around. ‘Nico?’

‘Yes.’ 

He turned to the fireplace again. At once, it lit up. ‘Why aren’t you asleep?’

‘I had a nightmare.’ I slowly padded closer to the couch. 

‘Sit down.’ I did. 

A cup of tea appeared on the coffee table. ‘Here, tea, it has a formula that will help you sleep...’

‘Chamomile?’

‘No. Or well, maybe. It was made by Hypnos.’ He looked at me for a second.

I picked up the cup and took a sip. It tasted like regular chamomile. 

‘But, you said you had a nightmare.’

‘Yes. And I have two things to say about that. First, I think it has to mean something, because of course it does. The second thing is that tonight, I don’t really want to think about it. I just want to calm down enough so that I can go back to sleep and then analyse it some other time.’

‘The tea will get you to sleep alright. Or so I think.’ Dionysus gestured at my cup. ‘But I understand you want to talk about it. And I am awake anyway, so go ahead.’ 

I wondered what he had been up for. Oh well. 

I sighed. ‘First, I was walking through a random street. There were some people there, and cats, lots of cats. I think some people were actually cats as well. Yetm slowly, the living things start to dissappear. No more cats, no more anything. It became dark and the pavement stopped. I walked straight into the darkness. When I turned around, there was nothing behind me, only black, until the only place that had anything else than black was the tile I was standing on.’ 

The fire popped. I stopped talking and looked at it for a second, before turning back to Dionysus. ‘Go on. The fire won’t hurt you.’ 

‘Of course not!’ I adjusted my jacket. ‘But, uh, in my dream, stuff began to rain down on me. In my dream, it was death. I don’t remember what it looked like, but… you know what I mean!’

He got a sly smile on his face. ‘I think I do.’ 

‘Hm. So, anyway, I was standing there in this rain of death and I began hearing the voices. They were very loud and told me… no, they begged me to come to Tartarus. Something about awakening and saving them and that I am so close already.’ I shrugged. ‘I saw a face with horns, vampire teeth and eyes the colour of blood, a few snakes dropped from the sky and then I woke up.’ I took a sip of tea and yawned. ‘It was so weird.’

‘...yeah, it’s strange.’ Dionysus shifted around for a bit. With a snap of his fingers, a second cup appeared. He picked it up and took a sip. 

‘Sorry if I begin to analyse it too much,’ he said, ‘But it seems as if certain parts have a clear meaning. I think the voices mean exactly what they are saying.’ 

‘Yes. I don’t really worry about those voices, actually, they have been there longer.’

‘Which is not something you should just accept as reality when we may be able to do something about it.’ 

I shrugged and looked at my tea. ‘True. But, I worry more about the… death shower. Because it makes me feel like something bad is about to happen if I don’t act on what the voices tell me to do soon.’

Dionysus took another sip. The flames created weird patterns on his face. 

‘Do you hear the voices right now?’

‘Well, no. As soon as I woke up, my head went quiet.’ I took a sip of Hypnos’ tea, even though I already felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. ‘I think that is good. But, on the other hand, why did they go quiet? I…’ I yawned. ‘I guess the deathshower is making me paranoid.’

‘Hm.’ Dionysus stared at my cup. ‘What I think is the wise thing to do is to see what happens next. If it becomes a recurring dream, we need to take action. If it is something for just this one night, or the last few nights perhaps, it might be nothing more than a manifestation of your fears.’ He sighed.

My eyelids were so heavy. I stared into the fire, hoping that the light could help keep my eyes open. 

‘Nico? Nico, Can you still hear me?’

‘Hmmyes. I do.’ 

‘Going to Tartarus, which you already did once…’ he fell silent for a second. I looked over at him with as much strength as I still had. He looked horrified, the way you do when you remember something you forgot. ‘...is something you should not do again. The voices might keep begging you. If that happens, you come to me and then we’ll find a way out. A way that does not involve going to Tartarus. You might get irreversibly scared if you go there again.’ 

‘I… I get that,’ I mumbled. My limbs were heavy now too. ‘I… I don’t want to go to Tartarus.’ Did I just say its name? Darn, I think I did. 

‘Of course not.’

‘Do you want to talk about your first experience in Tartarus soon? And sorry if I am randomly dropping things on you at the moment. This needs to be said before that stuff...’ He waved at my cup with a disgusted expression, ‘...knocks you out.

I tried to think as well as I could. ‘Yes… yes. I think that it is a logical…’ I yawned. ‘...Next step.’

Dionysus sighed. ‘Alright, I am never using that tea again. Hypnos must have changed the formula.’

‘Ah. I think I’ll sleep soundly now, that’s nice.’

‘It is not supposed to drug you.’ He sighed deeply. ‘Thanks for telling me all of this, Nico. Now, you should go back to your cabin. Immediately. No, wait, I'm bringing you.’

He got up from the couch and helped me do the same thing. We teleported to my cabin, I fell onto my bed and I was gone.

‘Hypnos, you total imbecile,’ Dionysus cursed. He looked at Nico, who was fast asleep. At least he looked like he was at peace now. 

The god did not like what Nico had told him. A face with pointy teeth, snakes, horns, voices… It sounded an awful lot as if the Elder Gods had gotten themselves into trouble again. With a deep sigh, he teleported back to the Big House. 

With a deep sigh, he sat back down on the couch. 

Suddenly, he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. ‘Ari…’

‘Dio, I sensed something was wrong,’ she said, way to excited for those words. ‘Not that I am happy with that, but I sensed it. The bond is healing.’

That was good. But that was weird. Gods, what did it matter at the moment.

Ariadne sat down on the couch next to him. Oh, it probably meant something. But if it waited this long, it could wait just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the entire arc for Nico written out. Strap yourselves in, kids, we are getting off canon (Mostly because R.R. did not provide any canon). 
> 
> This is a little clungy first new-arc chapter, because I wasn’t entirely sure yet where I wanted it to go when I wrote it. Now I do and the next chapters will be nicer. 
> 
> Talking about the next chapter, it is not really about the new arc, but godsdammit did I have a good time writing it.


	36. Cappuccino

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is made up of two parts: The first part is just your dose of This Might Be Crazy. The second part is a story I wrote years ago, which I think fits the main story.

I knocked on the gates to Hepaestus’ workshop. The doors opened without making a sound.  
I peeked inside. There was no-one to be seen, but I did hear the sound of a hammer hitting an anvil. I didn’t know whether that was because Hephaestus was working on something or if it was just for dramatic effect. 

Slowly, I walked inside. As soon as I was a few metres in, the gates began to close, causing me to quickly jump further into the workshop. With a slow thud, the doors closed behind me. 

A little shaken through, I looked around. ‘Eh…’

Out of nowhere, an automaton in the shape of a giant insect appeared in front of me. ‘Do you have an appointment?’ 

I stared at it. ‘Not exactly…’

‘Then you leave.’

‘Hey! I did not come without cause! I got something for Hephaestus!’

The automaton did not budge. ‘No appointment…’

‘Let him in.’ The automaton dissappeared at once, while Hephaestus limped into the room. In the background, the hammering went on (Which meant that it was definitely for dramatic effect). 

Hephaestus studied me from head to toe. ‘Nico di Angelo, right?’

I nodded. ‘Yes.’ I could not see his entire body. There wasn’t enough light. I wondered whether Hephaestus had done that on purpose. 

He scratched his ear. ‘What is it?’

‘Eh… I need decorations for a cabinet.’ I wasn’t going to mention that I got it from IKEA. 

‘I can do that. Is it at camp?’

‘Yes, in my cabin.’

Hephaestus nodded. He snapped his fingers and in a second my cabinet appeared. 

He laid his hand on the top for a second. ‘Hm. I know what I can do with this.’ He looked back at me. ‘Maybe you should come with me while I work.’

I nodded while I walked after him. 

After five minutes of watching Hephaestus work fast as lighting, I scraped my throat. ‘You know I get therapy from Dionysus, right?’

‘Therapy, is that what you call it?’ The blacksmith looked up from his work for a second. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘Hm. When I had it, they just called it ‘dragging you back to your senses.’’

‘Ah-ha. Eh, that is what I came here to talk about, actually.’

Hephaestus let his work rest and leaned back for a second. His metal brace clicked. 

‘I am not ashamed that I needed his help. But neither am I ashamed of what I did that made him realise I needed it. It might have been wrong, it might still be wrong, but I am not ashamed.’

He meant tying Hera to her throne as revenge. Right. ‘I think I understand.’ 

‘I don’t think you do.’ He coughed and adjusted his leg brace. I did not see what needed to be adjusted, but okay. 

‘You probably know the story. All the gods try to get me to free Hera. They all fail, except for young Dionysus, who managed to get me so drunk that I willingly came along. Except, no.’

I was confused by the last sentence for a second. ‘He… you mean he didn’t get you drunk?’

‘Does he intoxicate you? Of course not. Neither did he intoxicate me. The other gods just couldn’t fathom the fact that he had been a puny mortal so soon before.’ Softly, his hands stroked the silver decorations he had just attached to my cabinet.

‘Eh, this does not surprise me,’ I said after a pause.

‘I am not surprised it does not. You seem clever enough.’ He coughed again. I moved back a little. 

‘Hm.’ He snapped his fingers. A table came walking over, with two cups of cappuccino on top.

I took my cup, even though I had little interest in drinking it. The last cup of coffee I had gotten from Hephaestus was abhorent. I did not expect this one to be much better.

‘I don’t think he knew what to expect when he came to see me,’ Hephaestus continued, ‘Maybe someone in a fury, maybe someone who was depressed. Probably something in between. But no matter what, he treated me like it didn’t matter. The way he would treat any other guy. Came by, helped out in the workshop…’ the blacksmith rolled his eyes for a second, ‘... So called help, at least. Half of the time he was ‘helping’ me, he was an inconvenience. But when I needed someone to talk to…’ he shrugged. ‘You know that yourself.’

‘Yes.’ I did. 

He took a sip of cappuccino. ‘Well, slowly, we get onto the subject of Hera. Why I had chained her up, what it did with me to live with my actions, and what would be the best thing to do next.’ He took another thoughtful sip. ‘Dionysus did not want to talk about what would be best for the universe. He meant what was best for me.’ Hephaestus shrugged. ‘Now, that turned out to be the best for the universe as well. Yet, I know I would have been worse off if I had kept Hera chained up.’

I raised my eyebrows. The universe would have been worse with Hera chained up?

‘You can look at me like that, but it is the truth, young man.’ 

Sure, sure, balance and all that. I took the tini-tiniest sip of my cappuccino. And would you have it, it actually tasted good. 

‘Eventually, I was the person who said we should go back to Olympus. Now, that wasn’t easy for two outcasts. We had to travel by donkey, which…’ he sighed. ‘But still, he kept helping me. Kept talking to me. And I began to feel like we would get to Olympus, and it would be fine.’ 

There was something in his tone that got me concerned. ‘What happened next?’

‘You’re an observatory young man. What happened is that your therapist, as you call him, caught a horrible fever, so that I had to take care of him instead of the other way around.’ 

Wait. What? Dionysus had been immortal at this point. ‘How did he even catch a fever?’

‘He must have been more mortal then he seemed. I…’ the god sighed, a little sad. ‘I was worried. It might have been the most worried I have been in my entire life. He was terribly ill and I was afraid I would lose him. After all that happened, I couldn’t afford to. If he would have died, I would have gone back.’

‘But… he didn’t.’

‘No, he didn’t. That is why I am the blacksmith of the gods, Hera is free, nature grows as before and my friend got to live his life.’ 

The god took a sip of his cappuccino.

‘Sorry for asking,’ I muttered. I stared into my cup.

‘It’s okay. I was actually expecting you to come over someday, after what I said when you were here with Hades.’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘And I know you won’t blab.’ 

‘Of course not!’ 

‘Good.’ He looked at my cabinet. ‘I just need a few more minutes.’

‘Take all the time you need.’ 

Indeed a few minutes later, my cabinet was just the way I wanted it. ‘Here. I hope you get some use out of it.’

‘I will.’

‘Good.’ He wiped his hands on a cloth. ‘I also hope you learned something today.’

‘I think I did.’ 

‘Hm. If you take away anything, please let it be that Dionysus wants to help you for you. Not for anyone else.’

I nodded, a little slow. 

Hephaestus gave me a single nod. ‘Okay. Then Sierra will see you out.’ 

The automaton from earlier appeared in a second.

Swiftly, I stood up. I scooped up my cappuccino and took a large gulp. ‘Okay, Thanks, bye!’

‘The cabinet will follow you.’

Thanks, that is horrifying. I walked after the automaton, to the gates of the forge. 

When I was back in my cabin, I stared at my cabinet and thought. Yes, I learned something today. 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Bonus chapter, maybe? Anyway, Leo and Hephaestus story, which I thought fitted the This Might Be Crazy chapter.**

Leo was alone in bunker 9, repairing something for Frank which he had promised to repair ages ago. It didn’t go so well, even though repairing a sword was usually brainless work. His mind was constantly trailing off. A lot of things went wrong the past few days. Aside from screwing a few screws the wrong way and latting a vat of mild greek fire explode, he had forgotten Annabeth’s birthday, camp half-blood’s 3900 year anniversary and the weekly get-together of the Hephaestus cabin, and who knows what else that people just had not told him about yet. 

The third time Leo accidently hit himself with his hammer, he screamed and angrily threw it across the room. ‘Curse this whole damned world and everything that can go wrong in it!’ He screeched. 

‘That’s not very nice. I didn’t expect to hear that from you.’ Leo gasped and turned around. Hephaestus had appeared behind him. 

Leo lowered his arms. ‘I am sorry if....’ 

Hephaestus shook his head. ‘I think you are having some problems with the world around you.’ Leo nodded.

‘I just can’t seem to remember my appointments, I drop everything I hold and now my thumb is bleeding as well.’

‘We can fix your bleeding thumb.’ Hephaestus pulled a band-aid out of thin air and put it around his sons’ finger. ‘So. Slightly better?’ 

Leo shrugged. ‘I guess it is one issue less.’

Hephaestus nodded a bit. ‘One step at the time. Someone told me that once.’

‘Someone did?’ Leo looked up when there came no answer. The gods’ gaze was muddled, as if he was somewhere else with his thoughts. 

_‘Thetis, I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you allowed me to live in your house but I have to leave. I need to get back to Olympus.’_

_Hephaestus looked at the nymph in front of him, who was rubbing her hands together. ‘Are you sure about this, Hephaestus? Your mother threw you out, back when... aren’t you afraid she’ll do it again?’ The god shook his head._

_‘I have a plan. It will be okay.’ The nymph sighed. ‘Take care and don’t forget that if things go wrong up there, you’ll always have a place here, where I live.’ She gave him a small smile._

_‘I will. And I’ll never forget that you were the one who raised me and cared for me, I promise.’_

_Thetis’ smile became broader. ‘Have a save trip, Hephaestus.’_

‘Dad? Dad!’ Leo’s voice brought Hephaestus back to reality. 

‘What? Oh, I was just thinking about something.’ the god scraped his throat. ‘Have you taken a moment to think about why you have been forgetting your appointments?’ He asks. Leo shrugged. 

‘Not really, I guess. It just keeps happening.’

‘Maybe you should think about it for a little while.’ 

‘Alright.’ Leo looked at his hands, and quickly trailed off in thought, not realizing that the same happened to his father.

_The other Olympians stared at Hephaestus with wide eyes. Some of them backed away. Hephaestus was looking at his mother. She was furious, afraid and a little sad at the same time. Hephaestus took a deep breath. ‘Once again, thanks for the way you treated me, mother. And to the others: don’t try to release her, because nothing will work.’ He looked around the room one more time, before walking away. No-one dared to say anything._

With a start, Hephaestus looked up. Leo was talking.

‘I did have a lot of appointments the past few weeks and I must confess that I didn’t write those down anywhere. Yet, that doesn’t explain why I forgot our cabin meeting or the anniversary of Camp Half-blood, because everyone was talking about those all day long. It is not like I had a lot of projects that were distracting me. I mean, maybe…’

_Four gods had already tried to persuade him into freeing Hera. Ares had threatened him, Athena had tried to reason, Poseidon had told him he would flood the forge and Demeter had said she would let all the plants around the forge die. None of it had had any effect._

_Hephaestus looked over at the door, just as the fifth ambassador walked into the workshop. He looked extremely young and somehow didn’t feel like the others. He wasn’t mortal, but he wasn’t fully immortal either._

_He didn’t say anything, until Hephaestus spoke: ‘If you are here just to ask me to free Hera, just go away already and don’t waste my or your own time.’_

_‘That’s not why I am here.’ Hephaestus shook his head._

_‘Then why are you? Listen, kid, four gods have tried to persuade me the last few weeks. So just get onto that, alright?’ The stranger chuckled._

_‘My lord, I am not here for that, and even if I was, I do not think there is a lot I could do. I do not have Athena’s wit or Poseidons’ power over the sea. And I could not try fighting you if I wanted to. Why, you are at least fifty centimetres taller than I am.’_

_‘I…’ Hephaestus stopped talking. He hadn’t realized that this stranger was, in fact, very small compared to him. Actually, he seemed to be the same height as most mortals (maybe even on the slightly short side), which confused him even more. He narrowed his eyes. ‘You might be right. Tell me your name and what you want.’_

‘... and I think that might be why I have forgotten nearly everything in the last few weeks.’ Hephaestus jerked his head up. He hadn’t heard anything Leo just said. His son sarcastically raised his eyebrows. ‘So I think I might get a diary, ask people to remind me of my appointments and make sure I work extra carefully the next couple of days.’ Leo smirked. ‘You know, dad, you were right. This whole thinking thing really works. Now, can you tell me what you were thinking about?’ 

Hephaestus shrugged. ‘You notice more than people think.’ Leo nodded.

‘I tend to.’ 

_‘We are really walking all the way from Lemnos to Olympus, so I can free Hera from her throne.’_

_Dionysus sighed._ _‘True. It is strange that we are technically helping the other Olympians now. I mean, what have they ever done for us? We are outcasts, we don’t have any fancy flying chariots or great magic like they do and they are still relying on us for help!’_

_Hephaestus laughed. ‘I guess that is the Olympians for you!’ He sighed. ‘Another thing. Deep inside, I want to be an Olympian and I don’t know why. Maybe it is the feeling of inclusion?’ Hephaestus turned his head to his companion, who had stopped walking. ‘Dio? What do you think?’ The other god sighed as well._

_‘Could be. For me, I think... I just became a god, you know. No warning, no-one asking me if I even wanted to, nothing. Maybe I am reaching for Olympus because if I have to be a god, why not go the full way?’_

_Hephaestus nodded. ‘You might be right. So, how far do you think we can get today?’_

‘I was thinking about my own past. I was cast out as a small child and it didn’t seem like I had anybody I could trust on Olympus.’ 

Leo slowly nodded and beckoned his father to continue. ‘After chaining Hera up and retrieving to Lemnos, I only really cared about my forge, not about anything else. Not even myself.’ Hephaestus thought for a second. ‘Well, I think I cared about Thetis and about my donkey. Yet, Thetis wasn’t there, and my donkey… was a donkey. The person who showed me how to care again was Dionysus. He hung around the blacksmith just because he appreciated me and he was the one who got me so far that I admitted I wanted to go back to Olympus and right what I did wrong. He showed me some people did care about me. About me, and not just about what I did. It made me care for him as well.’ 

_It was nighttime, but Hephaestus was wide awake. A few metres away from him, Dionysus was finally asleep. They were close to Olympus now, only about two days of walking away, but they had not moved forward at all in a week. Dionysus had caught a fever, and there was no way he would be able to climb Olympus in his current state._

_Dionysus moved and yelped in his sleep. Hephaestus sighed. He didn’t know if fever dreams were always this bad, or if they were worse because of Dionysus’ relation to madness. With a scream, his friend woke up, just half an hour after falling asleep. Hephaestus quickly moved over. Dionysus stared at him with damp eyes. ‘Dionysus….’_

_‘It will go away, it always does.’ He shivered and Hephaestus quickly put another blanket over him. ‘Are you sure? I did occasionally meet mortals every now and then, back on Lemnos, you know. A lot of them had relatives or friends who had caught a fever, and they had...’ Hephaestus swallowed. ‘I don’t want you to die, Dionysus. Please, you can’t die, you can’t.’ Dionysus closed his eyes. Yet, he was smiling._

‘I probably could have gotten that from anybody else as well. But I didn’t. I began to trust Dionysus and he never broke that trust once during our entire trip from Lemnos to Olympus.’ 

_Hephaestus walked into the throne room, with Dionysus by his side. The gods turned their heads, every single one of them surprised. Hephaestus didn’t say anything. He walked over to Hera’s throne, spoke a few words and the cables loosened. It took a few seconds before she felt comfortable enough to step down. ‘Thanks...’_

_‘Keep your thanks,’ Hephaestus muttered. The other Olympians began crowding around Dionysus, glad that there was someone they could safely call a hero. The wine god looked over at Hephaestus, who nodded._

‘After I got back on Olympus, the other gods quickly got used to me. Hermes and some others made the effort to get to know me, and slowly I found my place. Sometimes, I still feel like I don’t belong, or that I am just a nuisance. But then there is always Dionysus, who is there to support me.’ Hephaestus stopped talking. Leo was listening with his mouth open.

‘That was a wild history lesson, dad.’ Hephaestus smiled. 

‘I hope you learned something from it.’ 

‘I sure did.’ He jumped up. ‘But now I have to go buy a diary in the store and apologize to a few people. Thanks again, dad. I hope you’ll come visit me some more.’ Leo ran out of bunker 9, leaving his dad behind. Hephaestus hardly noticed his son was gone at first, until he sighed, with a little smile. 

_‘You are a god.’ Hephaestus nodded, while he looked into the gorgeous eyes of Esperanza Valdez. The woman stayed calm, as if she knew all along. Hephaestus laid his hand on her cheek. ‘I can’t stay for much longer.’ He tried to smile. ‘Please stay safe, Esperanza. I want you to live a happy life.’ She laughed._

_‘I hope so, too.’ She gave him a kiss on the cheek, before he left._

_From up on mount Olympus, he could see her. She stood by the door for a long time, with a hand on her belly, before she walked back into the house._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freakin’ love the tale of Dionysus and Hephaestus. If I ever write a retelling of greek mythology it would be about the tale of Dionysus and Hephaestus. They are my boys. 
> 
> Okay so, myth-accurately, Dionysus gets Hephaestus drunk. Except I dislike that version so I made my own (sue me). Also Dionysus didn’t catch a fever, that is just for the drama (again, sue me).
> 
> I must have written the second part at least three years ago. Of course, I re-wrote it for a bit, but it surprises me how many elements of it survived the test of time.


	37. Green Smoothie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trogs. Because I love them.

‘Nico?’ I looked up and saw that none other than the great god Apollo was standing in front of Will and me. ‘Can you come with me, for a second?’

‘Eh, yes.’ I handed the mental health flyer I had been working on to Will and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I get up. 

‘Come, we should talk at the Big House.’

‘Eh, okay. Hello, by the way.’ 

He chattered the whole way to the Big House, but did not say a word about what brought him to camp. When we stepped onto the porch, I leaned against one of the wooden beams. ‘So, why did you need me?’

‘Oh! I have been working on a project concerning the trogs. I think Olympus should make amendments with them, but for that, it might be important to know how you met them in the first place.’ Ah. Hm. ‘Yet, if you want to finish those flyers first...’

‘No, I can do that later as well.’ I actually wanted to talk about the trogs, more even if it could be helpful. 

‘Okay!’ He skipped to one of the chairs. I followed. 

‘So, one day I was...’

‘Hold up.’ Dionysus walked onto the porch . He snapped his fingers and a green smoothie appeared next to me. ‘Mind if I join in? I think it might be important to hear.’

I stared at the smoothie. ‘What…’

‘Thematic appropriateness.’

Ah, what the heck. I took a sip and it tasted fine. Fresh, fruity, sweet. 

Dionysus made a third chair appear next to us. I looked at Apollo, who was looking at me. ‘It is fine with me,’ I answered. ‘Yet, as I wanted to say, I was wandering around New York city one day. I think it was a few weeks before I started therapy. So I was not in the best mindset.’ I slowly shook my head. Not at all. 

Dionysus and Apollo both nodded. 

‘I wandered into an alley. There, I found a strange, frog-like creature. Later I learned that he was a troglodyte.’ Wait a second. ‘Don’t ask why I was in a dark, New York side alley.’

Dionysus raised one of his eyebrows. ‘Hm. Perhaps some other time.’ That was to be expected. 

‘Ah, anyway, at first neither me nor the trog moved. We only stared at each other for a little while, until he came a little closer to take a look. I did not move.’ I looked at the green smoothie. ‘When he was really close, he narrowed his eyes and said in accentless English: “you smell like you come from the ground, but you don’t look like it. And where is your hat?”’ I shrugged and took a sip. ‘I decided to play along. So I told him my hat got blown away and that I am familiar with the world under the ground, but also that I have never seen someone like him. He raised his chin and told me to come back in three days.’

I thought for a second. ‘I had no reason to, but I decided to do what he asked. I even wore a hat. Lo and behold, he was in the alley again, with two more of his kind. One of them was wearing an absolutely ridiculous pile of hats.’ I turned to Apollo. ‘You know what I mean.’

Apollo chuckled. ‘Yes. I do.’ 

I chuckled. ‘Ridiculous hatpile eyed me up and down before saying I should tell him what I was, because otherwise they’d have to eat me. Actually, they had to eat me anyway, but if I could explain myself, maybe they didn’t.’ I shrugged. ‘It was mildly confusing, but it seemed like I had no choice...’

‘You could have shadow travelled away,’ Dionysus commented. 

‘It seemed like I had no choice,’ I continued, ‘So I decided to be honest. Mostly. I told them I am the son of a chtonic god. That made their behaviour change a little, they became more respectful. They told me I should see their kingdom and that they would even cut open a fish for me. I was curious, and not in a very self-preserving mindset, so I went with them.’ I pretended to not see Dionysus’ stern look. ‘From that point on, I went to them more often and I slowly began to learn more about the trogs. They told me about their customs and their ways and eventually, they began to accept and appreciate me. And the other way around, of course. They also learned about humans from me.’ 

Apollo opened his mouth to say something, but Dionysus was quicker: ‘I knew there was something with those creatures, but I did not know you initially went with them out of self destruction.’ 

I looked at my green smoothie. ‘It wasn’t self-destruction, per se. Anyway, I shouldn’t be lingering in the past. It is over now.’ 

‘Hm. Are you sure that sense of self-destruction is entirely over, Nico?’ 

I shrugged. ‘That is not why I go to the Trog now,’ I tried to defend myself. ‘I know they are friends. They won’t hurt me.’ 

‘They respect him and he respects them. They were friends to us,’ Apollo muttered.

Dionysus looked at the table. ‘I think both of you speak the truth. Yet, Nico...’ He slowly shook his head. 

‘...I get it. But, I think it is still important that Olympus allies with the Trogs. We…’ I nudged my head at Apollo, ‘... found out they can be a huge help when something is threatening the universe.’ 

Dionysus proceeded to stare straight into my soul, but he stayed silent. 

I looked at the table. ‘I really understand what you mean, Dionysus. I promise I will be more careful next time.’ 

He slowly nodded. ‘I believe you, Nico. I trust that you won’t do it again. All I ask is that you don’t break that trust. Not with me and not with yourself.’

I nodded. Apollo swallowed. ‘Ehm… I did not know that, Nico…’

‘Well, I never told you. And now the trogs are good friends to us. Making amendments with them is still a good idea.’

Apollo peaked at Dionysus, who nodded. ‘It is. Now that you know the origin story and we know some of their customs, we can set up an allyship.’ 

Apollo nodded, a little more confident. ‘Yes. But, Nico, I agree with Dio. You should take care of yourself.’ 

It was silent for a moment, until Dionysus scraped his throat. ‘If Apollo does not have anymore questions, I think you can go, Nico.’

Apollo jumped up. ‘Yes! If the bond is coming along, I’ll come back to you. Now you should go back to Will.’ 

I nodded and quickly got up. It felt like I should not have said some of these things. 

‘Dio, I…’

‘I understand you did not know any of that. I must say, I had a hunch, but I never knew…’ he shrugged. ‘I really believe that you two speak the truth when you say the trogs are your friend. Yet, he went with them when he was in a bad place. That is important for me to analyse.’ 

Apollo looked at the table. ‘I think I have a project to work on,’ he muttered.

‘Take some time to think before you do so,’ Dionysus suggested. 

Apollo got up from the table. ‘Will do.’ He ran a hand through Dionysus hair. 

‘Don’t do that!’

‘I’ll do that whenever I want. Perks of being the older brother.’ He gave Dionysus a wide grin, before disappearing back to Olympus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this chapter is kind of ‘when you tell your parents a funny story, but they turn it into a lecture.’ Yet, also, it is very true. 
> 
> This was originally going to be just Nico and Dionysus, but I figured this was better. Next chapter is Tartarus.
> 
> Pain is looking through chapters you wrote a while ago and seeing small mistakes you definitely knew were mistakes at the time, you just did not catch them while editting. I know I definitely made a few mistakes in this one. 
> 
> Yeah it is a 'spinach smoothie' or a 'cumcumber smoothie' or whatever. Sh, it tastes like green.


	38. Morpheus' Sleepy Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said Dio was the one who forgot about Tartarus, but it was me, Rose.

‘Dionysu…’

‘Did you have a nightmare again?’

‘What makes you think I did?’ I walked over to the couch in front of the hearth.

Dionysus glanced up at the clock. Half past two A.M. ‘Just a lucky guess.’

‘Of course. How lucky.’ I sat down next to him.

Dionysus snapped his fingers. A cup of tea appeared on the coffeetable. ‘This is Morpheus’ sleepy tea. It should be less intoxicating than Hypnos’ sleepy tea.’

‘And the god of intoxication can’t be sure of that?’

‘Tut tut.’ He made a second cup appear, with a weird, thick substance. ‘Now tell me about it.’ 

‘Well, in the dream I was in a green valley. Nice and all, until darkness began to cloud around me. I saw a couple of weird faces again, with horns and red eyes and stuff. I ended up in Tartarus and there the voices were louder than ever, pleading me to come, or else.’

Thoughtfully, Dionysus stared into his cup. ‘Was there more than one voice?’ 

‘Yes.’ I picked up my cup and held it against my stomach. 

‘Okay. That might be important for later, but you don’t have to worry about it right now. What I think is more important is what you mean when you say Tartarus. You went there once, right?’ 

‘Yes.’ I looked into my cup. 

‘I can only assume it was a horrifying ordeal.’ 

‘Yes, it was.’ 

He crossed his legs. ‘Can you describe to me what Tartarus looked like to you?’

I had not thought about how there might be different ways of seeing Tartarus. Now that Dionysus told me, it seemed only logical. ‘When I was there, it was very light, but dark at the same time. The ground was red, gray, brown and black. Every now and then, a monster materialised. There were a few dark rivers. Sometimes, they just appeared in front of me, even if they logically couldn’t run where they were running. Sometimes it seemed like I was walking through someones’ body.’ I sighed. It made stressed me out to think about Tartarus. ‘I only reached the doors of death after what felt like retreading the same ground over and over and over again.’ I shuddered. ‘It was positively horrific.’ I took a small sip of my tea, which made we me feel slightly better. 

‘I reckon it was.’ Dionysus stared into the fire. The flames were reflected in his eyes. 

I took a deep breath. ‘Whenever I think of Tartarus, I feel pure dread and emptiness. Going there was one of the worst experiences of my life. I could feel nothing but fear and misery when I was down there.’ My heart rate increased and my eyes were getting damp. Slowly, I took another sip of tea. ‘But I am also always reminded of the huge wave of relief that came over me when I was finally out of there. I still felt like like a smear on the pavement, or a broken house, but there was also so much relief. I was out there and I would make sure I would never go back. Never. Never.’ I shook my head. Never? You’ll come and stay forever. ‘Never! You must understand, never!’

‘Never. I understand.’ Dionysus took a sip of his weird sustance. ‘Do you think Tartarus is one of the main sources of your trauma?’

I shrugged. ‘Well, when I have a bad dream, it is either about losing Bianca or about Tartarus. Sometimes I get a vision of Tartarus, too. It became less when I learned how to manage my thoughts, but it is still one of the things that haunts me and the most prominent thing the voices taunt me with.’ Dionysus nodded. ‘I honestly can’t tell what I would do if it turns out that the voices really come out of Tartarus. I never want to go back there, but if there is no other choice…’ There isn’t.

‘We have to think about what we are going to do about the voices.’ He had been thinking about it before. I could see it. ‘Yet, Nico, you are not going back to Tartarus. I am not saying that because you do not want to. I am saying that because it would be one of the worst things you could do for you mental health. You hear me? You are not going back to Tartarus.’ His gaze got slightly darker. ‘I’ll take care of that myself if I have to.’

‘Yes, okay. Okay. I get it.’ I swiftly nodded a few times, to show that I got it. 

Dionysus sighed. ‘Good. Now, it is of utmost importance that you get some proper sleep.’ He gestured at my teacup. 

Like a good kid, I took a sip of the Morpheus tea. Then another one, and then I downed it all.

‘Yes. Like that.’

‘There is one more thing I wanted to say.’

‘There always is, but go ahead.’

‘While I was in Tartarus, I met Akhlys, the goddess of misery. After studying me, she told me I was perfect. That…’ I shrugged. ‘That is not a good sign, I think. Sometimes I wonder what she would say if I met her again. If she would still think about me that way. As perfectly miserable.’ 

Dionysus took a sip of his substance. A loud pop came from the fire. ‘You are more than just miserable these days. I think, if you met her again, she’d still see a struggling young man, yet part of that struggle would come from trying to get better. I reckon she would not like that, but I and your dad and Will Solace and the other people who matter certainly do.’

I smiled. ‘Thanks.’

‘You should really go to sleep now. Come, leave. I’ve got something important to think about.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ Quickly, I got up. Even though I had just spoken about one of the worst experiences of my life, I felt calm. I decided I liked Morpheus’ tea. It made you feel better without completely numbing your senses. Like it might be easier to fall asleep. ‘Eh… good night.’

‘Good night, Nico.’

When he was gone, Ariadne came back. ‘There is something on your mind.’ 

‘I think Nico might be getting visits from the Elder Gods.’ 

‘That is a bold statement.’ Ariadne sat down on the couch. Dionysus pulled her into a hug.

‘Hm. Could be worse. I have seen this problem before. Still, I want more information. Second, maybe even third opinions.’

She nodded. ‘I tend to assume you are correct on this subject. Maybe you can ask Hades for his thoughts on the matter.’ 

Dionysus pulled her even closer. ‘Right now I just need a hug.’ 

‘That I can take care of.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My pillow is from a store called Morpheus. They sell beds.
> 
> I thought Morpheus was less powerful than Hypnos, but I could be wrong.
> 
> The next few chapters will be part of this Elder God arc. However, it won’t become some deep dark storyline. This story has always been more light-hearted or at least hopeful. It is a story about Nico’s recovery and I would not want it any other way. So, yes, there is something going on, but also yes, it can and will be taken care of.


	39. Kids' Champagne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And who’s idea would this be...

‘If I say that this will go wrong somehow, it will be cliché.’ Will pushed his fork a teeny tiny bit to the right, so that it was laying ever so slightly staighter. 

‘You just said it.’

‘Well, isn’t that just stupid?’ 

I chuckled. ‘We can’t say how it will go until it happened.’ 

‘Yeah.’ Will looked around the rich salon. Our table only occupied a very small part of it. There were mirrors on the walls and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It was way more fancy than anything most people would ever see in their lifetime. ‘Do you know how Dionysus found this place?’

‘He is Dionysus.’

‘Right.’ Will looked at his watch. ‘Eh…’

‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were nervous.’

‘Well, maybe I am. Now, how late would they be arriving aga…’

The doors opened. A butler came in, followed by Hades and Persephone.

They both peered around the room. ‘Hm. It’s not too shabby, for mortals,’ Persephone tutted before folding her arms before her chest. 

Hades turned his gaze towards her. ‘Hey, you said you wanted to come. You can leave again if…’

‘I am staying! I said it was not too shabby!’ She did not wait for her husband to lead her further into the salon. She went on herself. 

She looked at Will and me. ‘Aren’t you sitting down?’

‘Eh, yeah. I mean, of course, ma’am.’ Will pulled my chair back. I quietly sat down while he moved onto the chair next to me. Hades made haste to sit down next to Persephone, who sat down across from me. 

For a few seconds, there was awkward silence. It seemed weird to stare at Persephone, so I looked at my cutlery instead, while I wondered whos idea this was again (Because I seriously forgot). 

I took a deep breath. ‘So… I can’t take credit, or blame, for picking the place. That was Dionysus' job.’

Persephone stared at her plate. ‘Yes.’ She bit her lip. ‘I, er, didn’t mean anything with what I said.’ 

‘Eh, it’s okay.’

‘Lady and gentlemen?’

We all gasped when the waiter began to talk. It made him take a step back. ‘Oh, excuse me…’

‘No, no, It’s okay,’ I quickly said. The waiter nodded, a little unsure.

‘Do you want to see the menu?’

Persephone rolled her eyes. ‘Of course not. Just surprise us!’

The poor server looked afraid. ‘Eh…’ 

Persephone began to blush. ‘Eh… Isn’t that a good idea?’ She looked at the rest of us. 

Honestly? Sounded kind of fun. ‘I mean, I would be down,’ I said. I looked at Will. He shrugged. 

‘That’s alright, I guess.’ 

The server noted something down. ‘Sir?’ He looked at Hades. 

‘Fine.’ 

‘Lady, Gentlemen... one surprise dinner coming right up.’

The waiter turned around, a little dazed, but he pulled himself together in a matter of seconds. The customer was always right and all that. 

Persephone seemed self-conscious about both of her mistakes. She turned to me and Will. ‘So, eh... how did you two meet?’ 

I looked at Will. ‘Well, we were both at camp for quite a long time before we began seeing each other the way we see each other now. The first time we talked was just after the Giants were defeated.’

Hades raised his eyebrows. ‘Interesting.’

Will stared at his plate. ‘It gets better. Or worse, that depends on how you see it. The first thing I ever said to Nico was that I had just helped with the delivery of a Satyr baby.’

Persephone put a hand over her mouth. ‘Oh, those are… very interesting.’

Will looked up. ‘Your majesty, you don’t mean you’ve got a similar experience, do you?’

‘I do, sadly enough… eh, I mean, it is not sad, obviously, but...’

Hades scraped his throat. ‘Eh, lovely that you two… have something in common, but maybe not the best subject at the dinner table.’

Will got a little red. Persephone shrugged. ‘Who knows.’

Hades nervously pulled a thread out of his napkin. ‘Eh… you two were talking about how you met.’ 

I nodded. ‘Yes. So, after our lovely first meeting, we witnessed the two camps defeating the earth mother and finally uniting. In the weeks afterwards Will and I began to hang out more and more, until we unofficially were a thing.’

Will nodded, with a wide grin this time. ‘It became official after they threw us into the lake. Tradiation. It began with Percy and Annabeth.’

Hades stared at his plate. ‘Strange traditions you got…’

Now I raised my eyebrows. We have strange traditions? Dude, you come from ancient Greece. 

Before I could say something snarky, our food arrived. They brought us everything at once, including desserts. Perhaps Dionysus had told them there was some urgency to getting the food to our table when he made the reservation. 

A few waiters opened up bottles of champagne, which I noticed was childrens’ champagne on further inspection. Well, okay, understandable.

When the servers left, Persephone put her elbows on the table and looked at everything we got. ‘What do we have?’ She already seemed less cold when she had spoken to Will, but now she was clearly excited. I looked at my dad. He was looking at her with a little smile. 

A lot. There were different types of fish, meat and fowl, at least five different soups and salads, baked potatoes, so many sauces I was too lazy to count them, and I hadn’t even looked at the desserts yet. 

‘Much,’ Persephone answered her own question. Carefully, she selected a few tiny meats and took a bit of each salad. 

The rest of us began to move as well. Hades got the same things Persephone had, I got a lot of baked potato wedges because they just taste so damn good and Will chose a bit of everything that did not come out of the ocean. 

Slowly, I dipped a potato wedge into the first sauce. While I took a bite, I noticed Persephone was staring at me. ‘And?’

‘Eh…’ too much pressure, lady. ‘It’s a little spicy.’ 

Persephone reached out her hand, before stopping and picking up her fork. She put a bit of chicken on it, dipped it into the sauce and thoughtfully took a bite. ‘Hmm. There is quite a bit of pepper in there. It could have used something sweet to balance it out.’ 

Will gave her a bit of a weird look, dad acted like this was just another day at the dinner table with Persephone and I picked up a new potato wedge to dip into the second sauce. 

When she saw that I was using my hands to eat, Persephone left her cutlery by her plate as well. She picked up a new piece of chicken. 

We both tasted. Hades and Will looked on. ‘And?’

‘Hmm…’

‘I think the first one tasted better,’ I muttered.

Persephone shrugged. ‘Perhaps, but I also think it is difficult to compare the two. We didn’t get any names for the sauces, right?’

‘Sadly not.’

Will shoved his knife and fork aside. ‘Can I…’ he stole two baked potato wedges from my plate and dipped them each into a sauce. 

‘I think the second one is better? It is slightly lighter.’ 

I shrugged. ‘Really?’ I was already reaching for more potatoes.

Hades sighed. ‘Alright. So I got three of them now.’ 

‘Three people who enjoy their food?’ Persephone shot him a sarcastic look. 

He sighed. ‘Let's just continue our meal.’ 

When we were on our seventh sauce (I did eat some salad in between, of course. Like at least a whole bite), Wills’ eyes lit up. ‘Hey! This sauce is made with sunaloe!’

I gave him a weird look. ‘Gesundheit?’

‘No, Nico, it is a magical herb.’ He took a piece of fried chicken and dipped it into the sauce. ‘It’s delicious.’ Oh, so now we were at the stadium where we talked with our mouths full. 

Persephone smiled widely. ‘You tasted it too?’

‘Yes!’

‘You know, I created that herb, together with Apollo. It was meant as a birthday present for… I don’t remember, but it was meant as a gift.’ 

‘Really?’ 

Within no time, they were having a deep conversation about sauce and plants. I ate a few more potato wedges. 

Hades made eye contact with me. Come, he said without a word. A little confused, I got up, with my glass of childrens’ champagne in my hand. 

‘Solace, Seph, excuse us for a moment.’ 

They looked up for a split second, before continuing their conversation. 

Hades took me to a separate compound, seperated from the salon by a curtain. ‘What is it?’ I asked. 

‘Yes, well, I saw that Persephone and your boyfriend were busy. So I thought that maybe now was a good time to ask you something.’

‘And that is?’ We better be back in time for desert. 

‘Dionysus told me you have been having nightmares and that it worried him. Can you tell me about it as well?’ 

‘Yes, I think I can.’ You picked a weird moment to ask, though. ‘So, usually, I am either in darkness or in Tartarus and there are voices that tell me to come find them. They are very loud and plead me to come, or else. There are people with masks of some sort. They’ve got horns, snakes coiled around their shoulders and red eyes. They don’t say anything though, they just vaguely smile at me if they look at me at all. ’

I took a sip of my alcohol-free champagne, which had gone lukewarm. ‘Nico, do you see any other faces?’ 

Is it that important? I honestly already feel like a maniac now that I am telling you all this. ‘Not really. Although the face is not… it does not always look the same. Sometimes its horns are longer, or it doesn’t have them. It doesn’t have the same hair colour every time either.’

‘That’s… tell me: Has Dionysus already told you what he thought it was?’

‘Well, no. I noticed that he has a hunch, but he hasn’t told me what that hunch is yet. Maybe, if he told you I am having these dreams, he wants your opinion on the matter as well.’

‘Uh-hu. That might be.’ He had a hunch too, I could see it. ‘I think I would rather discuss it as well, before I tell you what I am thinking. Is that alright? Am I doing it the right way?’ 

I felt a little out of control, but I snickered. ‘Yes, dad, that is alright and I think you are doing good. Thanks for telling me.’ Now I know you and Dionysus will be talking about me. Do I mind that? I mean, I can trust Dionysus and I have grown to trust my dad, I think. And technically, only good could come out of it. Still, it felt a little off. But I wouldn’t hold them back. 

‘That’s… yes.’ He nodded, with a small smile. ‘Eh…’ He to the curtain. ‘And what do you think of this so far?’

‘I must say, I had some concerns about having a family dinner, but it seems to go alright, at least up until now. We all love the sauce, except for Persephone, who seems to adore the sauce

‘Well… yeah. Persephone likes to eat. It’s cute.’ 

That was both sweet and a bit disgusting. ‘Why don’t we go back?’ Before all the deserts have melted, you know? 

‘Eh… yes.’ He pushed the curtains aside. Persephone and Will were still talking. I wondered if they missed us at all. 

I chose a big bowl of Chocolate mousse and sat down. While we finished our meal and talked, I noticed Hades thoughtfully looked at me a few times. I wondered what it was that both he and Dionysus were thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Persephone likes to eat. That is partly a headcanon and partly something R.R. Confirmed. 
> 
> This was going to be two chapters initially, but the second one was very short upon writing and I decided to… put ‘em together. Better a lot at once than some teeny tiny bits sprawled throughout, in this case.
> 
> I think I used the phrase ‘the customer is always right’ correctly. It does not mean you can be rude to servers or not pay, but it does mean that if you want something weird that they can give you, they should. You want sugar and yoghurt with your fries? Welp, alright. 
> 
> Not to brag or anything but in the Netherlands we have HEMA Jip & Janneke childrens’ champagne. None of you know what that is and that is why I am superior.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I write more? I have ideas to write some more.


End file.
